An old story from an old diary...

[westlifefan]

I was cleaning my room the other day and found my diary. I ended up reading my diary last night and forgot that I wrote this funny and morbid short story about a famous Saturday Morning iconic comic a few years ago - the Peanuts gang.

It's humour is heavily influenced by Conan O'Brien's days in Boston. If I've offended anyone. I apologize from the depths of my heart but I actually laughed at it - I found it to be pretty darn funny!

Read at your own discretion...


 August 17,2001 - JUST SHOOT CHARLIE BROWN!

He swiftly jogged on to the pathway and landed at the front door. 
                Knock knock.
                No one answered.         
                He turned his head and peered into the window. He squeezed his blue blanket.
                Knock knock.
                A medium-built guy answered the door.
                "Hey Chawlee. I need to talk to ya sister." He stepped closer to the door and peered inside.
                "I told you Linus. Salls doesn't wanna be seen wich'ya."
                Linus barged in and glanced quickly around the room.
                Charlie shut the door behind him and turned towards the sofa to tidy the pillows. "Salls is out with Violet. Tell me Linus, whatcha do to my sista? Last night she was pouring her damn eyes out, huh?"
                Linus squeezed his blue blanket tighter. "I-I-I don't know. We was just necking and..."
                "That's not what Salls told me!", Charlie shouted.
                Just then, he pulls out a gun from the fluffy pillows and aims at Linus.
                POW POW.
                Linus falls to the ground with blood dripping out of his stomach, his hand still clenched to his blue blanket. With his last ounce of strength, he sticks his thumb in his mouth and is left lifeless. A puddle of blood soaked through the berber carpet.
                Charlie Brown nods his head and walks out the door. He adjusts his yellow and black coat and begins to straighten the first and last two remaining hairs on his head. As he walks down the street, he smiles at the Little Red Haired Girl chatting with Pig Pen. He turns and looks away. The Little Red Haired Girl was the one love Charlie lost to a guy that smelled like the skid marks in a pair of boxer shorts.
                As Charlie Brown passes the old ball park where he and his pals use to play at when they were in their innocent youth, Charlie notices Peppermint Patty sitting on a bench. He smiles at her.
                "Where's your boyfriend?" Charlie asks.
                Patty smiles at him. "Ah, Sir...I mean", she winks at him. "I mean, Chawlee, didn't you hear? Snoopy and I broke up. He wasn't my type. He wouldn't say a word. Can you keep a secret though?"
                Charlie smiles with his head down. "I can keep a lot of secrets".
                He stuffs his hands in his pockets as he notices blood in his finger nails. Linus' blood.
                "Marcy and I," she began. "We're dating. I don't know when it happened but I've sworn off guys, so I don't know. We're experimenting".
                Charlie looks surprised as he rubs his forehead. "Well I wish you both the best. I gotta find Schroeder. I'll talk to you later."
                Charlie Brown walks a few blocks to a beautiful looking church. As he enters he sees two people - a couple perhaps, sitting in the rows at the front.
                "Ah, well if it isn't Charles Brown", a young and handsome blonde haired preist walks up to him.
                "Hey, Schroeder! What's up pal?" Charlie swings his arms around him as they hug. "I need to talk to you".
                Schroeder looks at him seriously.
                They walk into a confession booth. "I did it again".
                Schroeder sits on the bench perched to the side to hear Charlie better. "Who'd you kill this time?"
                Charlie begins sobbing like the child he once was. "I-I..didn't mean to. I got angry. He was trying to get Salls to take Crystal Meth and what not. I had to do something. He treated her like gaarbige. Forgive me Schroeder. I loved Linus. He was my brother".
                Schroeder puts his head down and frowns. "I'm sorry to hear that. Linus will be remembered dearly. My advice is to run. Run as far away as you can."
                "But", Charlie started, "you're a priest. Don't you have any other advice?"
                "No - but the Bahamas are good this time of year". Schroeder looks at Charlie and smiles. "See ya later buddy".
                And with that Charlie Brown ran out the church. Flashes of his life passed by. Baseball. The Little Red Haired Girl. His 5-cent therapy sessions with Lucy - Linus's sister. Little Sally, Woodstock and Snoopy. Everything would be left behind. And it was a choice he made out of the consequences he would have to endure for a long time.
Or until Schroeder rats him out.

THE END.