sunday night
alright, so i've never had a livejournal or anything like it before. i really am kind of hoping people read this because i would like some feedback on what people think.
i guess i should start off by saying that my name is dennis and against will and good reason i live in the east san francisco bay area aka concord aka get me the hell out of here! i go to DVC a junior college around here. actually that's a lie... i haven't gone to DVC, really, in a year, easy. i guess i just don't really want to go, though i reeeeeally should... it's getting sad. here i am 21 living with three room mates two of which i can't stand and one of which i love/hate/married to (not really)/feel an intense obligation too (another way of saying married). i don't know how i got here really. it's killing me. a lot. i'm sitting here alone in the apartment for the first time in a while. i miss alone time. i'm listening to billy joel's goodnight saigon... i miss mellow. i miss just feeling mellow. i'm listening to good music, i'm almost not high anymore, the lights are dim, and for once since before i came to dvc, before i came to california, before i moved to california my mind isn't racing, thinking of tweleve million things. i'm just focused on the typos. i don't want to stop because if i do i'll go back and read what i just wrote. my mind keeps trying to force the thought on me. i realize now that that last wave of thought, the short declarative sentences felt real good. i don't often say "i" sentences anymore without feeling selfconsious. i miss not feeling so selfconsious. actually that's a lie, i've always been self consious, there was just a time before when i had more gusto and could bull shit myself into thinking it didn't bother me. i'm going to break for a moment a friend is imming me.
i guess i should start off by saying that my name is dennis and against will and good reason i live in the east san francisco bay area aka concord aka get me the hell out of here! i go to DVC a junior college around here. actually that's a lie... i haven't gone to DVC, really, in a year, easy. i guess i just don't really want to go, though i reeeeeally should... it's getting sad. here i am 21 living with three room mates two of which i can't stand and one of which i love/hate/married to (not really)/feel an intense obligation too (another way of saying married). i don't know how i got here really. it's killing me. a lot. i'm sitting here alone in the apartment for the first time in a while. i miss alone time. i'm listening to billy joel's goodnight saigon... i miss mellow. i miss just feeling mellow. i'm listening to good music, i'm almost not high anymore, the lights are dim, and for once since before i came to dvc, before i came to california, before i moved to california my mind isn't racing, thinking of tweleve million things. i'm just focused on the typos. i don't want to stop because if i do i'll go back and read what i just wrote. my mind keeps trying to force the thought on me. i realize now that that last wave of thought, the short declarative sentences felt real good. i don't often say "i" sentences anymore without feeling selfconsious. i miss not feeling so selfconsious. actually that's a lie, i've always been self consious, there was just a time before when i had more gusto and could bull shit myself into thinking it didn't bother me. i'm going to break for a moment a friend is imming me.