Room 504, Tuesday Afternoon

[wesleynotponcy]

It was afternoon. Or maybe it was morning. Or night, even. Wesley hadn't moved since coming to his room in the first place yesterday after finishing watching the Games, at which point he'd slumped onto the floor with a bottle of scotch and proceeded to down what felt like most of it. His head lolled back against the bed behind him.

Everything hurt

Comments

[glacial_witch]

Karla...wasn't entirely sure what time she'd left last night. It was long after the scotch (and the wine and the honey-pear liqueur and the...shut up, her metabolism made it really hard to get drunk and Wesley had claimed most of the scotch for himself) had vanished and the sun had been coming up over the horizon.

It had taken awhile for her to convince herself to get out of bed and then slightly longer to convince herself not to just call a portal and go somewhere--anywhere--else, but considering the state she'd left Wesley in last night, she be a lousy friend if she didn't check in on him, promise or no.

So after a shower long enough to help her feel human again, and a quick stop for water, tea, and real food, Karla was tapping on his door.

"It's Karla," she called through the wood. "I'd like to come in."

[wesleynotponcy]

Wesley groaned, cradling his empty bottle to his chest in preparation for Karla's return. She could come in, but he didn't want to be judged -- or more importantly, to have his scotch taken from him. This wasn't a time for sharing, and he needed all of it. And no, he wasn't immediately aware that it was empty.

"Come in," he rasped, utterly unaware of the mess she would find inside.

[glacial_witch]

He wasn't going to be judged, but Karla was going to take his scotch away. She would even if it hadn't been empty for hours. One day of drinking to cope was allowable. More than that was not.

"Hey," she said softly, opening up the door. The mess barely got a second look; she'd seen most of it already. "How's the head?"

There had been stern conversations about drinking water before she'd finally staggered out, but she wasn't sure how much he'd actually been listening for.

[wesleynotponcy]

The water thing had gone completely over his head, yes. But that was fine, because his head ached and he liked it that way. A dull sort of throbbing to remind him of how much pain he was in.

"Good," he rasped. Although his definition of "good" was a bit different from that of someone who wasn't clutching an empty bottle.

[glacial_witch]

"Somehow I doubt that's true," Karla said, crossing over to him and kneeling at his side. After first kicking a few things to the side, yes. "You didn't listen about the water thing, did you?" she asked, reaching for the bottle. She didn't really expect an answer. It was kind of obvious, anyway.

[wesleynotponcy]

He shook his head somberly. "No," he said truthfully. Because the water was all the way -- somewhere else, and the scotch was here and the bottle helped him be comfortable. Water bottles didn't help make anyone comfortable.

"Water," he said, his voice scratchy. "The arena had water..."

[glacial_witch]

"In the trees," Karla agreed gently, trying to pry the scotch free from his grip. "And you sent her the spile so they could get it. You helped her, Wesley. But regardless of what the arena did or did not have, you need to drink. Water, not more scotch."

[wesleynotponcy]

Finally, he let the bottle go, then stared at his hands as if betrayed by their weakness. "Fine," he said at last. Water.

Had he helped? What was the point of the spile if she was dead now? He could have sent her a -- a protective suit, or something. Why had he been so useless?

[glacial_witch]

Karla vanished the bottle and called over a water bottle in exchange, twisting off the cap before passing it over. "Don't," she said, a little sharply. "You don't think you're the only one trying to think how and when we could have helped her? Done something more, something better? I could have added a shield to something innocuous, like a piece of jewelry. It's not going to bring her back. It's not going to help. All it will do is make you more miserable."

Getting up, she went over to try to open one of the windows in the room. It was still raining, but a bit of fresh air might help.

"Katniss wouldn't want that. You know it."

[wesleynotponcy]

She was right, of course. But -- he was supposed to be good at this. Helping warriors become champions. It was what he was trained for.

It was what he had been fired for not doing. And it mattered so much more now.

"When am I going to be good at this?" he whispered, desperately.

[glacial_witch]

"Losing someone?" Karla asked. "Never, probably. I don't know anyone who is." Window open and a slight breeze coming through, Karla turned back around and joined Wesley on the floor, reaching for his hand. "Right now, it's taking everything I have to not just run, leave the island for awhile. It's what I do anytime I lose someone. I just...have to get away."

The only reason she hadn't? Because Katniss had made her promise. And why? Because Katniss had gone in, knowing she wouldn't be coming back. Karla needed to figure out whether that was something Wesley should be told.

"We knew the odds were against her when she went in," she continued, erring on the side of caution until she decided. "We know Snow wanted her dead from the beginning. At least this way...she wasn't taken out by a monkey or the mist or some half-mad Tribute. She went out fighting the Capitol. That had to mean something, even if it doesn't exactly make those of us left behind feel any better."

[wesleynotponcy]

Not losing someone. Helping people. But putting that into words took so much effort, and Wesley had no intention of letting Karla know just how awful he was at it.
Buffy hating the Council. Faith -- evil. And now Katniss, dead. Because he couldn't help. It was what he was born for and raised for, but he couldn't do it.

And the aftermath of that? He didn't have to get away from the island. He had to get away from himself, if he could. Scotch and the floor of his room were clichéd, but they were close enough to what he wanted.

Karla's words did touch something in him. "She was so strong," he agreed, his voice still torn and ragged. "She -- she chose. They put her in there and stripped her of everything, and she chose."

[glacial_witch]

Unfortunately, Karla wasn't going to let him default to scotch and the floor of his room. "She stayed true to herself, which is the hardest part of the whole thing," she agreed, nudging the water bottle to get him to drink. "She walked in as Katniss and she died as Katniss. That takes a kind of strength that so many people don't have. And part of that strength came from you."

[wesleynotponcy]

What? No... that couldn't be right. She'd always been that strong. As he took a sip of the water, swallowing it down despite the way it burned his throat to take in something other than alcohol right now, he shook his head.

"It was all her own strength," he insisted once he was done drinking. "It's the reason I love her."

That was... surprisingly poignant.

[glacial_witch]

It was, but in its own way, wrong, at least from where Karla was standing. Okay, sitting, in the midst of Wesley's stuff.

"That's not...entirely true," she said slowly. "Katniss was strong; no one can deny that. But everyone in that room was there because we touched her life in some way. Made her stronger, made her better. Gave her something she didn't have before. You loved her because she was strong, right? Then, think of this. Why did she love you?"

[wesleynotponcy]

Well... well... that was difficult to say. Wesley stared down into the water bottle and then, as he thought of words he could possibly use, he took another sip.

Way to go, Karla. Stumpers led to hydration.

"I don't know," he said miserably once he was done. "I taught her how to shoot a gun. There's that."