GRAVEN IMAGES
Last January, the Lord spoke to Cindy Jacobs. I'm not making this up. "Cindy," he said, "the strongman over America doesn’t live in Washington, DC - the strongman lives in New York City! Call My people to pray for the economy. October 29 was Black Tuesday, the day the stock market crashed, and Satan wants to do it again." According to CBN, "many intercessors began to hear from the Lord that without divine intervention, a major shaking was coming to Wall Street" - so Cindy isn't the only Christian psychotic who has their ear. In early August, God again spoke to Cindy, proving that, if nothing else, He has no taste in women:
This time, he said, "There will be no more business as usual." Reading between God's lines in the wake of the stock market's plummet on September 29, Ms. Jacobs extrapolated, "This is so severe in the economic area because we are facing judgment from the actions, not only for our stance towards Israel, but our blatant sin against Him in passing laws such as the one allowing homosexual marriages." So this demonstrates that God also has kinda fucked up priorities - though, at least, he knows what's important to CBN listeners.
Cindy did what any good Christian nutbag would do. She organized a pray-in to save western capitalism - 'cause, you know, that's what God is all about and stuff. "We are going to intercede at the site of the statue of the bull on Wall Street to ask God to begin a shift from the bull and bear markets to what we feel will be the 'Lion’s Market,' or God’s control over the economic systems. While we do not have the full revelation of all this will entail, we do know that without intercession, economies will crumble."
That's right: Cindy's solution to God's judgment for our worship of Mammon was... to go and pray to a Golden Calf. You can't make this shit up. Here they are:
And when the people saw that Moses delayed to come down out of the mount, the people gathered themselves together unto Aaron, and said unto him, "Up, make us gods, which shall go before us; for as for this Moses, the man that brought us up out of the land of Egypt, we wot not what is become of him."
And Aaron said unto them, "Break off the golden earrings, which are in the ears of your wives, of your sons, and of your daughters, and bring them unto me." And all the people brake off the golden earrings which were in their ears, and brought them unto Aaron. And he received them at their hand, and fashioned it with a graving tool, after he had made it a molten calf: and they said, "These be thy gods, O Israel, which brought thee up out of the land of Egypt."
And when Aaron saw it, he built an altar before it; and Aaron made proclamation, and said, "Tomorrow is a feast to the LORD." And they rose up early on the morrow, and offered burnt offerings, and brought peace offerings; and the people sat down to eat and to drink, and rose up to play.
And the LORD said unto Moses, "Go, get thee down; for thy people, which thou broughtest out of the land of Egypt, have corrupted themselves: They have turned aside quickly out of the way which I commanded them: they have made them a molten calf, and have worshipped it, and have sacrificed thereunto, and said, These be thy gods, O Israel, which have brought thee up out of the land of Egypt.'"
And the LORD said unto Moses, "I have seen this people, and, behold, it is a stiffnecked people: Now therefore let me alone, that my wrath may wax hot against them, and that I may consume them: and I will make of thee a great nation."
And Moses besought the LORD his God, and said, "LORD, why doth thy wrath wax hot against thy people, which thou hast brought forth out of the land of Egypt with great power, and with a mighty hand?" And the LORD said unto Moses, "Because they fucking piss me off with this kind of bullshit."
I just hope Moses comes down from Sinai soon - and smashes the Ten Commandments in these douchebags' faces.
This time, he said, "There will be no more business as usual." Reading between God's lines in the wake of the stock market's plummet on September 29, Ms. Jacobs extrapolated, "This is so severe in the economic area because we are facing judgment from the actions, not only for our stance towards Israel, but our blatant sin against Him in passing laws such as the one allowing homosexual marriages." So this demonstrates that God also has kinda fucked up priorities - though, at least, he knows what's important to CBN listeners.
Cindy did what any good Christian nutbag would do. She organized a pray-in to save western capitalism - 'cause, you know, that's what God is all about and stuff. "We are going to intercede at the site of the statue of the bull on Wall Street to ask God to begin a shift from the bull and bear markets to what we feel will be the 'Lion’s Market,' or God’s control over the economic systems. While we do not have the full revelation of all this will entail, we do know that without intercession, economies will crumble."
That's right: Cindy's solution to God's judgment for our worship of Mammon was... to go and pray to a Golden Calf. You can't make this shit up. Here they are:
And when the people saw that Moses delayed to come down out of the mount, the people gathered themselves together unto Aaron, and said unto him, "Up, make us gods, which shall go before us; for as for this Moses, the man that brought us up out of the land of Egypt, we wot not what is become of him."
And Aaron said unto them, "Break off the golden earrings, which are in the ears of your wives, of your sons, and of your daughters, and bring them unto me." And all the people brake off the golden earrings which were in their ears, and brought them unto Aaron. And he received them at their hand, and fashioned it with a graving tool, after he had made it a molten calf: and they said, "These be thy gods, O Israel, which brought thee up out of the land of Egypt."
And when Aaron saw it, he built an altar before it; and Aaron made proclamation, and said, "Tomorrow is a feast to the LORD." And they rose up early on the morrow, and offered burnt offerings, and brought peace offerings; and the people sat down to eat and to drink, and rose up to play.
And the LORD said unto Moses, "Go, get thee down; for thy people, which thou broughtest out of the land of Egypt, have corrupted themselves: They have turned aside quickly out of the way which I commanded them: they have made them a molten calf, and have worshipped it, and have sacrificed thereunto, and said, These be thy gods, O Israel, which have brought thee up out of the land of Egypt.'"
And the LORD said unto Moses, "I have seen this people, and, behold, it is a stiffnecked people: Now therefore let me alone, that my wrath may wax hot against them, and that I may consume them: and I will make of thee a great nation."
And Moses besought the LORD his God, and said, "LORD, why doth thy wrath wax hot against thy people, which thou hast brought forth out of the land of Egypt with great power, and with a mighty hand?" And the LORD said unto Moses, "Because they fucking piss me off with this kind of bullshit."
I just hope Moses comes down from Sinai soon - and smashes the Ten Commandments in these douchebags' faces.