Whatastupidname!
There are some pretty stupid names for fast food places out there. Jack-in-the-box being one. I fail to see the association of burgers to a disturbing child's toy. Burger King is another. It sounds like some fake fast-food place in a movie that the script writers came up with in ten minutes. The list goes on, but I'm sure one gets the idea. The real bone of contention here is the infamous Whataburger. I am fortunate, at this time in my life, to work at a coffee shop that is within walking distance of a Whataburger. Because The Kolache Factory that is even closer to us only stays open five hours a day, most of us on the evening shift are forced to purchase our dinners from the aforementioned restaurant. I guess there aren't too many of these places still open (loosing out to Mickey D's I'd imagine) so I had never really been given the time to get really irritated with their name.
Whataburger has to be the most ridiculous, ignorant, and unfortunate name for a fast-food establishment ever. It wins the award for stupidest name, hands down. When I was little I thought they were called "Waterburger" which, needless to say, can't be a translation thats too good for business. I recently got my hands on a madlib from a kids meal that one of my coworkers ordered. The name of the little annoying characters that promote the line of kids toys/meals is called "Whatapals". What a pals? That isn't even grammatically correct. What are we trying to teach our children? That it's a good idea to make burgers from water? That it's cool to have bad grammar?
In their own defense, I haven't actually had any of their food in long, long time. We're talking years. So I don't really have the right to comment on the quality of their products (Though we are close, I work 6 hr shifts and only the 8hr shifts are eligible for 30 min. meal breaks. Also, I'm not that big a fan of fast food anyway). But that would be irrelevant anyhow. The real reason they've been losing business to McDonald's is because McDonald's has a reasonable name. The brothers who established McDonald's had that last name, so it makes perfect sense that their restaurant would share it. In addition, McDonald's isn't a name that suggests or promises anything, except for the fact that the founders were named McDonald. Burger King's food (most importantly their burgers) is significantly better than McDonald's. Why does it rank slightly lower? Because "King" suggests that it is supreme over all burgers. True, it's good, but let's face it, if you want a really good burger you're not going to go to a fast-food place. So people are disappointed and turn to good ol' McDonald's, who will never let their ass down. What does Whataburger suggest? Well, that's rather ambiguous. Let's explore it, shall we?
Harmon Dobson established the first Whataburger in Corpus Christi, Texas, August 8, 1950. It has the same name now as it did then. Surprisingly, nothing has changed. Except for the fact that it was a wooden kiosk then and is now a somewhat successful restaurant chain. Well, let me tell you something. Harmon Dobson was an asshole. He felt his name was cute, kitchy, attention-grabbing, what-have-you. And maybe it was for a wooden kiosk burger place in the 1950's, when people had a corny sense of humor and the time to digest the meaning of the name. He gave no thought to the restaurant's potential future and how the name would subsequently translate. He then happened to die in a place crash 17 years later, leaving the establishment with his wife who, bless her soul, was really responsible for the restaurant's success. Though perhaps out of respect for him, she left the ridiculous name. I bet she cursed him at his grave for being such a self-centered jerk and insisting his name stay intact.
In these more modern, hustle-n-bustle, quick-to-consume-times, people don't have time to contemplate the name "Whataburger" and see the comedy in it. We're in so much of a hurry to get to and from work, get the kids from soccer practice, etc. that we simply slur the name into one meaningless heap of syllables or turn it into something different altogether(i.e. "Waterburger"). We don't want to go somewhere with a weird name that we don't have the time to decipher. What does that say about the consistency of the food? No, no, good ol' McDonald's all the way.
For the record, "Whataburger" is supposed to be a sort of onomatopoeia, if you will. Or, more accurately I suppose, a statement. Like you bite into the burger and say "Wow! What a burger! It's so good!". But really, there's nothing specific in the statement that makes it inherently positive. It could be someone saying "Wow, what a burger. The worst I've ever had". If Ol' Harmon had just called the place "Dobson's" I bet it would have been as successful, if not more so than McDonald's.
I guess the bottom line is, fast food is not something that should be taken too seriously. It's not a food we are meant to linger on and enjoy (I know I always feel silly eating my fast food salad at a table in the store rather than in the car after the drive-thru). Because fast-food is meant to be mindlessly scarfed, restaurants don't have to prepare it to the highest quality. And besides, they can't. Mass production plays crucial role in the fast-food industry and therefore, preparation cannot be personalized like it is in independent restaurants. These places are given silly names and silly mascots (clowns, kings, spacemen) because no one takes them seriously and it ultimately doesn't matter. Fast-food as well as the restaurants it originates from, are made to be given only a passing glance.