This week
Damn this week has been looong! And it's only Wednesday. I think it's been long for me 'cause E and I are not on the best of terms. Sunday's argument really makes me question our whole relationship. Do I really want to marry this guy? How can I be with someone who detaches himself so easily and is so very cold? I admit that I've not been the most chipper person lately and yeah I probably bit his head off unjustly, but to merit his coldness is just plain wrong! I don't know what to do. I care for him deeply and know he's a great guy, but do I love him as much as I say I do? Am I questioning our relationship 'cause of the argument? I'm PMSing horrifically and that may be a factor to my sensitivity. I've never suffered from PMS!!! Maybe it's these stupid new bc pills I'm taking? Ahhhh....who knows? On Monday night, we were on the phone and I was feeling blue & in need of reasurrance & what does he say to me after I ask him if he still loves me? "yes I do, but not nearly as much as I did before last night? WTF!!!! I would never in a million years say something like that! Not even when he's done his stupid shit, and there have been plenty, would I ever say that. Am I being too sensitive? Maybe. But he shouldn't say stuff like that. Last night he apologized. Tonight he is coming over for us to talk. I'm so not looking forward to seeing him or talking. I just want to be happy and in peace.