whoo, another after school special.

Feb 18, 2005 15:22

I do not want to be here tonight. Or ever, in fact.

But my escape options seem to have dwindled..

I really don't care if my dad moves out, they just need to either stop all this fucking bullshit or get it over with. Them getting divorced would not have an effect on me, but it's hard to ignore the screaming fights and the accusations and the discoveries. I'm tired of trying to make everyone feel better, despite their unresponsiveness. I don't know if I can take another day of seeing the hurt written on my little sister's faces while they are pretending not to hear and see all that is going on. I don't want them to get damaged anymore, or become something so fragile and hurting on the inside and rock on the exterior.
The only reason I stay for this is for them. They don't understand yet what kind of people my parents truly are, they let this affect them in ways it shouldn't.
My dad yells at my mom for working so many nights and not being here. Neither of them are ever here, and even when he is home, it's just as good as him being gone.
I don't mind, because I've turned out better being responsible for myself than I would have having them caring for me.
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