Destiel, ~300 words, Dean just wants to jack off in peace. Castiel is being helpful.
Dean is having a quick jerk-off session while Sam is off grabbing supplies, when he suddenly hears the flap of wings. No warning, as usual; no time to tuck himself in before Castiel is standing there. He starts speaking as if Dean isn't sitting there with his jeans around his ankles and his dick in his hand. "We have heard that Lilith is going after another of the Seals -- "
"Would it kill you to knock?"
Castiel looks puzzled, but he reaches out and taps his fist against the wall.
"No, I mean outside. Bamf in on the other side of the door, give me a little warning, thirty seconds to get myself decent."
"I don't understand."
"Can you turn your back. Please? At least just let me pull my damn pants up."
Now Castiel looks mildly curious, and that's worse. "Manual self-stimulation is a normal human occupation. I could wait while you finish."
"No, I think I'm pretty much done for the day."
"Or I could help."
This is officially Too Damn Weird. But before he can think of anything to say, Castiel is kneeling before him, his expression reverent, as he reaches a tentative hand out to stroke Dean's cock, gently, like he's petting a skittish cat.
He should tell Castiel to leave, shove him away, go and hide somewhere until the weird stops. But then he decides: what the hell. He folds his hand around Castiel's, pressing the angel's fingers around his cock. "Like that. Up and down strokes. Maybe use your thumb across the head, oh, that's right, you've got it."
He sprawls back on the bed, lets the sensations wash over him, building, and as the orgasm peaks, crests, leaves him sprawled, spent, and he starts to giggle.
"Something is ... amusing?"
He grins and points at Castiel. "Touched by an angel."
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