Memo
To: Shahrukh Khan
CC: women of the world
BCC: Her Grand Mistress Wepa Woman
Re: This is your first warning
Shahrukh-ji,
As you are well aware, we at Wepa Woman Inc. do adore your contagious charisma, your slapstick humor, and your most impressive dimples. Do recall that we forgave you for your mid 1990s Bollywood mullet that you sported in such blockbusters as Dilwali Dulhania Le Jayenge. Our legal team summarily erased this grave fashion faux pas from your record last year when you finally obeyed by the rules stated in your contract with Wepa Woman Inc. that required your participation in a sex scene in Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna. We do appreciate your compliance to this central clause in your contract.
Do keep in mind that our legal team has been directed to look the other way when you brazenly ignored our last spoken agreement that implored you to cease and desist with your emotional outbursts in front the camera for the sake of Her Grand Mistress Wepa's delicate sensibilities. Her Grand Mistress (may she be blessed with a thousand blessings), accepted your gift of a lifetime supply of Kleenex to accommodate your moral duty to cry in films. However, due to your latest effort to thank Her Grand Mistress (may she be blessed with a thousand blessings) for her graciousness, we at Wepa Woman Inc.have no choice but to put down our latest warning in writing.
It is imperative that you stay away from a weight machine and shun all rogue wardrobe employees who approach your bare chest with a spray bottle of baby oil before shooting a cover for Film Fare Magazine. Just this morning, Her Grand Mistress (may she be blessed with a thousand blessings) snarfed her coffee when she accidentally happened upon your latest photo shoot in Internetlandia. Shahrukh-ji, this is now a safety issue that requires very serious consideration.
Sincerely,
Executive Assistant to Her Grand Mistress Wepa Woman
Wepa Woman, Inc.
CC: women of the world
BCC: Her Grand Mistress Wepa Woman
Re: This is your first warning
Shahrukh-ji,
As you are well aware, we at Wepa Woman Inc. do adore your contagious charisma, your slapstick humor, and your most impressive dimples. Do recall that we forgave you for your mid 1990s Bollywood mullet that you sported in such blockbusters as Dilwali Dulhania Le Jayenge. Our legal team summarily erased this grave fashion faux pas from your record last year when you finally obeyed by the rules stated in your contract with Wepa Woman Inc. that required your participation in a sex scene in Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna. We do appreciate your compliance to this central clause in your contract.
Do keep in mind that our legal team has been directed to look the other way when you brazenly ignored our last spoken agreement that implored you to cease and desist with your emotional outbursts in front the camera for the sake of Her Grand Mistress Wepa's delicate sensibilities. Her Grand Mistress (may she be blessed with a thousand blessings), accepted your gift of a lifetime supply of Kleenex to accommodate your moral duty to cry in films. However, due to your latest effort to thank Her Grand Mistress (may she be blessed with a thousand blessings) for her graciousness, we at Wepa Woman Inc.have no choice but to put down our latest warning in writing.
It is imperative that you stay away from a weight machine and shun all rogue wardrobe employees who approach your bare chest with a spray bottle of baby oil before shooting a cover for Film Fare Magazine. Just this morning, Her Grand Mistress (may she be blessed with a thousand blessings) snarfed her coffee when she accidentally happened upon your latest photo shoot in Internetlandia. Shahrukh-ji, this is now a safety issue that requires very serious consideration.
Sincerely,
Executive Assistant to Her Grand Mistress Wepa Woman
Wepa Woman, Inc.