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weneedhelp
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Fic: Bart's good at webdesign OR Bart the CyberPimp
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Don't own this, they belong to DC
This was originally comment fic for Dizzycadence and she urged me to post it here, so blame her.
Bart looked up from the couch at his fellow titans, they looked, well, there was a range of emotions. Kon was confused, Robin was angry, well his emotional blank had its nuances and it was his angry one, Cassie well she looked concerned. Beast Boy looked pissed off though. Starfire and Cyborg weren’t there, thankfully.
Cassie spoke first, "Bart, is it true?"
Bart weighed up the options in under a millisecond, he could play dumb or just lay it out there, and ordinarily he would just tell everyone, but the reason he originally didn't say anything was still valid, so he went with option one, and prepped himself to deny, deny and deny some more,
"Is what true?"
Tim broke his silence, almost spooking Bart, if he hadn't been so used to Robin he would have forgotten he was there, freaky bat training and all,
"That you're running a Dating network for superheros!"
"No, I can honestly say that I'm not! Really."
Robin handed him a printout, that was, oh crap, a screenshot of the site, oh... well they knew almost everything, so time to switch to option two.
"It's not a dating site. That's exactly what its not. It's a sex site. Not dating."
Kon snatched the printout and looked over it, then asked in a confused voice
"Bart, what the hell is this?"
"See I realised that us Superheros, well most of us can't date."
Cassie who seemed to be torn between her desire to throttle Bart and her belief that someone had made him do, which made her want to make Bart tell her who so she could go pulverise them. They were being held in check, so Bart picked his words carefully.
"Cassie, you and Kon, you're an exception not a rule. There's the whole sorry I was out saving the world and no I couldn't call you at the restaurant to tell you I would be late I was fighting an insane killer. Or the conversation about how you could be kidnapped to manipulate me, which is the nicer alternative to you and your entire family could be killed just to screw with me."
Robin nodded his agreement, it was true, a lot of the older heroes seemed to have these problems. Kon shrugged, he guessed it was true, Cassie looked thoughtful and gestured for him to go on.
"And there’s the whole physical side"
Kon blurted out "Hey I happen to like non-powered women!"
"Yes, and so do I. But,"
"But what!?"
"Well you and Cassie both have super strength, if your relationship gets to the point where you do start fuh," seeing Cassie fingertips starting to stroke her lasso he rephrased what he would have said, "become physically intimate," Cassie's fingertips moved away from the Lasso, "well neither of you would have to worry about the other being breakable. Think of all the super strengthened heroes out there, if they were to cut loose they could kill. From what I've heard superman has a human wife, if he ever let himself get distracted by the sheer mind numbing burst when you"
Kon's hand was over his mouth, pretty good speed considering he wasn't a speedster, "STOP RIGHT THERE! Never EVER talk about Superman like that!"
Kon only released him after he gave a nod, "Well anyway, it sort of came to me that other heroes would be able to handle it. But relationships complicate things, throw off team dynamics, make it awkward when the relationship ends if you have to work together."
"So then I thought, well what if you didn't have a relationship, you just got together, cut loose, then left. Where the two individuals went into it understanding that it was just physical, they both knew it and both were mature enough to actually accept that that was the way it was."
Cassie looked conflicted, she didn't like it but Bart's logic was pretty sound, it even resembled human rather then speedster logic, she didn't know what scared her more.
"Then I created the site, I coded it, read the cryptography and programming language sections at every university in America, even a few in Europe, made it as secure as is possible, I think only Batman's systems could break it. Then I went and got into contact with Oracle, she’s nice. I sort of challenged her online in order to get her attention, then sent her a file containing the site, along with a longer more well thought out essay on what we've been talking about."
Kon stopped him, "But you bomb essays"
Bart smiled and pointed to Robin, Kon looked shocked.
Cassie almost snarled, "You helped him with this, then came to tell us about it as if you didn't? What on earth would compel you do something like that?"
"No. That's not what I meant. Robin was really cool, he taught me about essays. And wrote down a more comprehensive set of instructions then I ever read before, and since I could read his instructions rather then try to follow a teacher talking so slowly that paint could dry before she finishes a single word... well I can do them now."
Cassie stopped her advance on Robin looked as per usual totally apathetic, but Bart knew that he was grateful for the clarification.
“Anyway, Oracle agreed to well, provide site accounts to the members of our community who might want it, and they were allowed to, you know tell a friend in confidence. With her knowledge she set it up so that way you wouldn’t get paired up with someone on your own team, see you enter all your preferences, and ranges and when your free, stuff like that. And when a match happens it sends both of them a message asking if they would be interested in a meet.”
Kon was the first to really digest it, or he hadn’t but he understood the basics, superpowered people having no strings, no commitments, sex. Bart was the Co-Sys Admin with Oracle, and with the time he’d been missing lately, there were two possibilities, either he was swamped working on the site; Or he was living the dream, Kon’s anyway.
“So, its just for like the older heroes then?”
“Of course not Kon, that wouldn’t be fair, all the problems with relationships the adults have, us teenagers have as well.”
Bart took stock on how each of them were reacting to the news, Robin, the unflappable Tim Drake, the boy wonder, looked like he was fighting back a blush, Kon looked like he wanted to pat him on the back for this. And Cassie, he couldn’t really tell what was going on with her,
“Bart, are you on the site?” asked Cassie, her voice almost sounded completely confidant but there was a note of uneasiness in her voice.
“Of course”
“So how much sex have you had?”
“Well, see, I have relative time, being a speedster and all.”
Cassie just glared,
“Um, I lost count. A lot?”
Kon slapped him on the back, “Bart the Player! I never knew. Want to give me….” his sentence trailed off when he saw he was the focus of Cassie’s ‘I’m-your-girlfriend-who-can-and-will-hurt-you’ glare.
“If it helps, it wasn’t with that many people, not yet I mean. I get a lot of repeat meets.”
“Those perverts! Getting off on you being so young, what the hell kind of a hero is like that?” yelled Cassie.
“Um I don’t really think its that.”
Cassie glare changed again, how many could one superpowered girl have? Bart knew she spent almost no time with batman if any at all, so how did she have so many? Right now it was now a challenging glare.
“Kon turn around,” seeing his initial hesitation, “trust me Kon, won’t do anything you won’t want me too”
Kon, put frankly was curious, Bart, good at sex, he just couldn’t see it. He’d thought about what Bart could be like in bed once or twice, he figured the vibrating bit would be good, but hell he would have to be quicker then quick.
“Keep it above the belt”
Bart started to massage Kon’s back, nothing that sensual just a standard deep muscle massage. Kon thought that yeah it was ok, nothing that great. That was, at least, until Bart started to vibrate. To vibrate on top, inside and around seemingly every nerve in his back. Kon cried out, “Mother FUCKER”, every muscle in his back relaxed, Bart’s hands felt like they were everywhere at once. He didn’t even know his back could make him, well let’s just say spandex; even it was tight right now.
Bart stepped back from Kon, who slumped into a heap on the floor. Bart slid back down into the couch, and idly let his left hand work on Kon’s neck while he waited for Tim and Cassie to say something. He didn’t want to disappoint his friends, and he knew they didn’t expect this of him, but well, he liked it.
Tim reached his conclusion on the issue, “Bart, it’s obvious you don’t need rescuing from someone using you, so I guess were all mature people here, we can deal with it.”
“Thanks Tim.” and shot him a grateful smile as he slipped out of the room.
“Cassie, I didn’t like, destroy your opinion of me? Did I?”
“No, but it will take time. To process this.”
Bart nodded, she got it, thank god she got it. In fact he thanked many gods, sending a prayer to each of the relevant Greek gods. And one to Ares, he wasn’t really involved but from what he’d gathered Ares had taken an interest in his friend Cassie.
Cassie smiled at him and started to walk away, pausing at the archway she turned back for a moment and said
“It’ll be at least a few hours… you can keep Kon till then.”
Bart looked up at Gar, he'd been silent through the whole thing, he could only guess at what he was thinking right then. Being an eternal optimist he said,
"Gar, want me to do your neck as well? I have two hands."
Now that Gar and Bart were essentially alone, Kon didn't count in his current condition, he decided that Yeah Bart was cute. He was shocked to realise that his body was ahead of his mind; he was already leaning back into Bart's touch.
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Don't own this, they belong to DC
This was originally comment fic for Dizzycadence and she urged me to post it here, so blame her.
Bart looked up from the couch at his fellow titans, they looked, well, there was a range of emotions. Kon was confused, Robin was angry, well his emotional blank had its nuances and it was his angry one, Cassie well she looked concerned. Beast Boy looked pissed off though. Starfire and Cyborg weren’t there, thankfully.
Cassie spoke first, "Bart, is it true?"
Bart weighed up the options in under a millisecond, he could play dumb or just lay it out there, and ordinarily he would just tell everyone, but the reason he originally didn't say anything was still valid, so he went with option one, and prepped himself to deny, deny and deny some more,
"Is what true?"
Tim broke his silence, almost spooking Bart, if he hadn't been so used to Robin he would have forgotten he was there, freaky bat training and all,
"That you're running a Dating network for superheros!"
"No, I can honestly say that I'm not! Really."
Robin handed him a printout, that was, oh crap, a screenshot of the site, oh... well they knew almost everything, so time to switch to option two.
"It's not a dating site. That's exactly what its not. It's a sex site. Not dating."
Kon snatched the printout and looked over it, then asked in a confused voice
"Bart, what the hell is this?"
"See I realised that us Superheros, well most of us can't date."
Cassie who seemed to be torn between her desire to throttle Bart and her belief that someone had made him do, which made her want to make Bart tell her who so she could go pulverise them. They were being held in check, so Bart picked his words carefully.
"Cassie, you and Kon, you're an exception not a rule. There's the whole sorry I was out saving the world and no I couldn't call you at the restaurant to tell you I would be late I was fighting an insane killer. Or the conversation about how you could be kidnapped to manipulate me, which is the nicer alternative to you and your entire family could be killed just to screw with me."
Robin nodded his agreement, it was true, a lot of the older heroes seemed to have these problems. Kon shrugged, he guessed it was true, Cassie looked thoughtful and gestured for him to go on.
"And there’s the whole physical side"
Kon blurted out "Hey I happen to like non-powered women!"
"Yes, and so do I. But,"
"But what!?"
"Well you and Cassie both have super strength, if your relationship gets to the point where you do start fuh," seeing Cassie fingertips starting to stroke her lasso he rephrased what he would have said, "become physically intimate," Cassie's fingertips moved away from the Lasso, "well neither of you would have to worry about the other being breakable. Think of all the super strengthened heroes out there, if they were to cut loose they could kill. From what I've heard superman has a human wife, if he ever let himself get distracted by the sheer mind numbing burst when you"
Kon's hand was over his mouth, pretty good speed considering he wasn't a speedster, "STOP RIGHT THERE! Never EVER talk about Superman like that!"
Kon only released him after he gave a nod, "Well anyway, it sort of came to me that other heroes would be able to handle it. But relationships complicate things, throw off team dynamics, make it awkward when the relationship ends if you have to work together."
"So then I thought, well what if you didn't have a relationship, you just got together, cut loose, then left. Where the two individuals went into it understanding that it was just physical, they both knew it and both were mature enough to actually accept that that was the way it was."
Cassie looked conflicted, she didn't like it but Bart's logic was pretty sound, it even resembled human rather then speedster logic, she didn't know what scared her more.
"Then I created the site, I coded it, read the cryptography and programming language sections at every university in America, even a few in Europe, made it as secure as is possible, I think only Batman's systems could break it. Then I went and got into contact with Oracle, she’s nice. I sort of challenged her online in order to get her attention, then sent her a file containing the site, along with a longer more well thought out essay on what we've been talking about."
Kon stopped him, "But you bomb essays"
Bart smiled and pointed to Robin, Kon looked shocked.
Cassie almost snarled, "You helped him with this, then came to tell us about it as if you didn't? What on earth would compel you do something like that?"
"No. That's not what I meant. Robin was really cool, he taught me about essays. And wrote down a more comprehensive set of instructions then I ever read before, and since I could read his instructions rather then try to follow a teacher talking so slowly that paint could dry before she finishes a single word... well I can do them now."
Cassie stopped her advance on Robin looked as per usual totally apathetic, but Bart knew that he was grateful for the clarification.
“Anyway, Oracle agreed to well, provide site accounts to the members of our community who might want it, and they were allowed to, you know tell a friend in confidence. With her knowledge she set it up so that way you wouldn’t get paired up with someone on your own team, see you enter all your preferences, and ranges and when your free, stuff like that. And when a match happens it sends both of them a message asking if they would be interested in a meet.”
Kon was the first to really digest it, or he hadn’t but he understood the basics, superpowered people having no strings, no commitments, sex. Bart was the Co-Sys Admin with Oracle, and with the time he’d been missing lately, there were two possibilities, either he was swamped working on the site; Or he was living the dream, Kon’s anyway.
“So, its just for like the older heroes then?”
“Of course not Kon, that wouldn’t be fair, all the problems with relationships the adults have, us teenagers have as well.”
Bart took stock on how each of them were reacting to the news, Robin, the unflappable Tim Drake, the boy wonder, looked like he was fighting back a blush, Kon looked like he wanted to pat him on the back for this. And Cassie, he couldn’t really tell what was going on with her,
“Bart, are you on the site?” asked Cassie, her voice almost sounded completely confidant but there was a note of uneasiness in her voice.
“Of course”
“So how much sex have you had?”
“Well, see, I have relative time, being a speedster and all.”
Cassie just glared,
“Um, I lost count. A lot?”
Kon slapped him on the back, “Bart the Player! I never knew. Want to give me….” his sentence trailed off when he saw he was the focus of Cassie’s ‘I’m-your-girlfriend-who-can-and-will-hurt-you’ glare.
“If it helps, it wasn’t with that many people, not yet I mean. I get a lot of repeat meets.”
“Those perverts! Getting off on you being so young, what the hell kind of a hero is like that?” yelled Cassie.
“Um I don’t really think its that.”
Cassie glare changed again, how many could one superpowered girl have? Bart knew she spent almost no time with batman if any at all, so how did she have so many? Right now it was now a challenging glare.
“Kon turn around,” seeing his initial hesitation, “trust me Kon, won’t do anything you won’t want me too”
Kon, put frankly was curious, Bart, good at sex, he just couldn’t see it. He’d thought about what Bart could be like in bed once or twice, he figured the vibrating bit would be good, but hell he would have to be quicker then quick.
“Keep it above the belt”
Bart started to massage Kon’s back, nothing that sensual just a standard deep muscle massage. Kon thought that yeah it was ok, nothing that great. That was, at least, until Bart started to vibrate. To vibrate on top, inside and around seemingly every nerve in his back. Kon cried out, “Mother FUCKER”, every muscle in his back relaxed, Bart’s hands felt like they were everywhere at once. He didn’t even know his back could make him, well let’s just say spandex; even it was tight right now.
Bart stepped back from Kon, who slumped into a heap on the floor. Bart slid back down into the couch, and idly let his left hand work on Kon’s neck while he waited for Tim and Cassie to say something. He didn’t want to disappoint his friends, and he knew they didn’t expect this of him, but well, he liked it.
Tim reached his conclusion on the issue, “Bart, it’s obvious you don’t need rescuing from someone using you, so I guess were all mature people here, we can deal with it.”
“Thanks Tim.” and shot him a grateful smile as he slipped out of the room.
“Cassie, I didn’t like, destroy your opinion of me? Did I?”
“No, but it will take time. To process this.”
Bart nodded, she got it, thank god she got it. In fact he thanked many gods, sending a prayer to each of the relevant Greek gods. And one to Ares, he wasn’t really involved but from what he’d gathered Ares had taken an interest in his friend Cassie.
Cassie smiled at him and started to walk away, pausing at the archway she turned back for a moment and said
“It’ll be at least a few hours… you can keep Kon till then.”
Bart looked up at Gar, he'd been silent through the whole thing, he could only guess at what he was thinking right then. Being an eternal optimist he said,
"Gar, want me to do your neck as well? I have two hands."
Now that Gar and Bart were essentially alone, Kon didn't count in his current condition, he decided that Yeah Bart was cute. He was shocked to realise that his body was ahead of his mind; he was already leaning back into Bart's touch.