the best days.
even though today was very tough to go through (one of our beloved pets died) i have to comment on life as i know it. i'm not much good at updating the livejournal any longer because i have a lot of projects going on - not only that, but i find myself talking to a few close friends and not really needing to come over here and put my thoughts in. it'd feel redundant if i did.
but, i guess you should know. i'm doing well for myself. every day is a tough decision, but i grow more assured of them as i make them. my hopper is my life center and everything else revolves around her safety, comfort, health and happiness. i'm being a good mom. i stand up for her, listen to her, encourage her, help her, talk to her, annoy her - everything i am supposed to. and i still make her lunch on school days. i think she lets me do this because i would be lost without my 'job'.
i've made the nicest friends. they are genuinely giving and supportive. they are full of healthy goodness and every single day i am shown that the kind of people i used to wish for in the world really exist. i have the best friends, really. they listen, they help me, they are here for me, they don't drain me. they are mutual. they are two-way. they hold no judgments. they have lots of hugs. i am truly blessed.
and my jobs? i love every single one of them. i'm a writer for a handful of publications - magazines, papers, and now my own little online magazine, too. it's going to become an amazing resource for men (and also handy for women) you'll see. i still get to work on the radio part-time and i fill in always - whenever they need someone to cover for the regular air staff. closer to my dream, there. :) i'm working in other spaces at the radio group, too, just getting hours and learning more about the business.
i'm still separated from rob. we haven't gotten to divorce. i am learning... everything. i have more respect for him. i have more appreciation for him. i recognize my mistakes. i realize he is just being himself and that even if we aren't the same in some ways, we can work well together with hopper and when things are tough like today, when gemmy died.
i also have more understanding about myself and about my needs as a woman and as wendy. i miss my house - or what i wanted to be my house - but, that is okay. i am in a very cute house in a town that has rolled out its red carpet for me. people enjoy my presence and i really enjoy theirs, too. that red carpet rolls both ways.
my mom and i get along great for the most part. hopper and i are surviving thirteen. i sold my body to a gym and give my soul to anything i am passionate about.
i no longer live for other people. just me. how i want to.
and you know what?
i'm damn good at it.
but, i guess you should know. i'm doing well for myself. every day is a tough decision, but i grow more assured of them as i make them. my hopper is my life center and everything else revolves around her safety, comfort, health and happiness. i'm being a good mom. i stand up for her, listen to her, encourage her, help her, talk to her, annoy her - everything i am supposed to. and i still make her lunch on school days. i think she lets me do this because i would be lost without my 'job'.
i've made the nicest friends. they are genuinely giving and supportive. they are full of healthy goodness and every single day i am shown that the kind of people i used to wish for in the world really exist. i have the best friends, really. they listen, they help me, they are here for me, they don't drain me. they are mutual. they are two-way. they hold no judgments. they have lots of hugs. i am truly blessed.
and my jobs? i love every single one of them. i'm a writer for a handful of publications - magazines, papers, and now my own little online magazine, too. it's going to become an amazing resource for men (and also handy for women) you'll see. i still get to work on the radio part-time and i fill in always - whenever they need someone to cover for the regular air staff. closer to my dream, there. :) i'm working in other spaces at the radio group, too, just getting hours and learning more about the business.
i'm still separated from rob. we haven't gotten to divorce. i am learning... everything. i have more respect for him. i have more appreciation for him. i recognize my mistakes. i realize he is just being himself and that even if we aren't the same in some ways, we can work well together with hopper and when things are tough like today, when gemmy died.
i also have more understanding about myself and about my needs as a woman and as wendy. i miss my house - or what i wanted to be my house - but, that is okay. i am in a very cute house in a town that has rolled out its red carpet for me. people enjoy my presence and i really enjoy theirs, too. that red carpet rolls both ways.
my mom and i get along great for the most part. hopper and i are surviving thirteen. i sold my body to a gym and give my soul to anything i am passionate about.
i no longer live for other people. just me. how i want to.
and you know what?
i'm damn good at it.