Lovedraughts ficathon: This Forbidden Knowledge, Part 1 (Chapters 1 - 3)
Author: WendyNat
Title: This Forbidden Knowledge
Rating: R
Requester: settiai
Request: Set during 7th year; Hermione pregnant (not by Snape), Snape finds out. She requested there be no: non-canon character death, no Mary-Sueness.
Disclaimer: Characters and settings are not mine, they belong to JK Rowling. Many thanks to her for allowing us to play with her toys!
Settiai - I hope you enjoy the fic!! My apologies if you don’t - it may not be exactly what you were hoping for but it’s the bunny that bit me when I read the assignment. So, here it goes:
This Forbidden Knowledge
WendyNat
Chapter 1
~~~~~~~~~
“I trust you are all well rested from your holidays?”
Professor Severus Snape enjoyed the looks of confusion on the students’ faces - he could well imagine their thoughts. Professor Snape… being friendly? Merlin, what’s he going to do to us?
He did so like to keep them off-balance. With that aim in mind, his next words came in a low, menacing tone. “It is my dearest hope that some of you, perhaps, were able to rest enough that you will not perform so inadequately in my class as you did the previous term. Perhaps now you are prepared, perhaps now you understand what I expect from my Advanced Potions classes?”
He eyed each student in turn, hovering on Miss Granger’s face with a small sneer. The girl was talented, but far too arrogant for her own good. Rather typical of Gryffindors.
“Then again… perhaps not.”
Turning sharply on his heel, he faced the board and flicked his wand. Potions ingredients appeared on the dark surface. “Turn to page 394.”
He heard books hastily flung open, pages flipped. Satisfied by their quick response he faced the class once again, groaning inwardly when he saw Miss Granger’s frowning face. Trust that young woman to notice that the potion assignment had changed from what he had indicated prior to their departure for the winter holidays.
“Professor? Sir? At the end of last term, you said we would be working on the Wolfsbane potion and since the full moon is tonight shouldn’t we start brewing….” Her voice trailed off.
Snape continued to stare at her, arms folded, for long moments while the class collectively held its breath. His eyes narrowed when she held her ground, and finally - grudgingly - he murmured, “Unfortunately, the monksroot that I obtained prior to the holidays was contaminated.” He noted absently that her face paled at his words and he continued, in his normal sarcastic tones, “Now, Miss Granger, if you don’t mind, I will continue to teach my class. Unless, of course, you feel you can do a superior job?”
He waited a few heartbeats, pinning her with his gaze, until he saw her shake her head slightly, face still pale. “No, sir.”
Effectively cowed, at least by appearance. Snape well knew that the girl was only playacting; she had shouted him down - or attempted to - in enough Order meetings over the summer to prove that she wasn’t intimidated by him any longer. Though her face did seem unusually pale this time… no matter. Realizing that the room was silent, students waiting with bated breath to see if he would take House Points or assign detention, he said smoothly, “No? Very well then. Turn to page 394, and begin.”
* * * * * *
Snape stared at the bubbling cauldron and scowled. Something was missing… the potion, if he’d theorized correctly, ought to have turned a nice purple shade by now. Instead, it was stubbornly remaining the same putrid green it had been for the last twenty four hours. Irritably, he placed the stirring rod down and walked to his bookcases.
There must be some reason… some reason… Idly he ran his slender fingers along the spines of the tomes, eyes narrowing when he caught sight of one that could be useful. Flipping it open, he raised an eyebrow. That could help… Possibly a few pinches of powdered mandrake root could help stabilize the mixture. Unfortunately, rebrewing the necessary potions for the infirmary after the discovery of the monksroot contamination had depleted the stores he normally kept in his personal lab. Scowling, he left his private lab and walked through the corridor to his storeroom.
This late in the evening, it was unlikely that any students would be in the halls. Of course, curfews and dark corridors had never been a deterrent to Potter and his friends in the past. Approaching the door, he raised his wand to remove the wards…
And froze.
The wards were already down.
But his alarms hadn’t gone off… Narrowing his eyes, he inspected the door. The person who had so effectively dismantled his wards had also, somehow, dismantled the alarm spells. His hand tightened on his wand. If it was a student… he mentally reviewed just how many points were available to be deducted from each house.
Except Slytherin, of course. He was certain that any Slytherin student who dared bring down his wards AND alarm spells would have a very good reason. He smirked. If it was a Slytherin student, he may even award points for ingenuity - there weren’t many who were able to remove these types of wards.
Steeling himself, he cautiously opened the door.
And paused for a split second before slamming the door behind him and whispering, “Accio flask.” The cool glass hit his palm and he gripped it, his eyes not straying from the other person in his private storeroom. The person who had dismantled his wards, deactivated his alarm spells, and now stood straight and tall, staring at him defiantly. He glared at her, remaining silent, waiting for her Gryffindor courage to fail. With satisfaction, he finally saw her hands begin to tremble, though her face maintained that expression of cool defiance.
“So, Miss Granger. You have not only defied curfew once again, but you have broken into a professor’s private stores, stolen from that professor’s stores, and brewed an illicit potion. And to think - all of this in just the second day of term. Quite impressive. Did I miss anything?”
Miss Granger shook her head mutely. Snape studied her reaction, his brows lowering in thought. This wasn’t the normal response that Miss Granger had when caught flaunting rules. Her entire body was trembling now, dilated eyes fixed on the flask he held in his hand. To his utter confusion, those eyes began to fill with tears.
He frowned. “Miss Granger? You should be well aware that tears will not aid you in your current situation. Now, you will tell me what ingredients you have pilfered, and then I will tell you what, precisely, your punishment shall be.”
Still, Miss Granger remained silent. Her jaw worked, but no sound came out. Finally, she clamped her mouth shut and glared at him through tear-brimmed eyes.
Severus was caught off guard. This was a far cry from the Miss Granger he had come to know over the summer, arguing with him over every single detail brought up in an Order meeting. A far cry from the Miss Granger who kept careful control over her emotions in his presence, wary to show him any chink that he could drive a well-pointed barb through. And now, she stood before him - her emotions raw and open. In his private storage room, after curfew, with Potter’s invisibility cloak thrown carelessly on the floor.
What had she brewed?
Lifting the flask to the light, he studied it critically. An invisibility potion? No… no point in that… she had Potter’s cloak to use, after all. But the only other potion he could think of that created that peculiar reddish-brown residue along the bottom of the container was-
“An abortion potion, Miss Granger?”
“Please, Professor… I only needed the final ingredient, the mandrake root powder… and there wasn’t any available in-”
He raised an eyebrow, well aware of why she had suddenly stopped. Obviously she was off-balance, nervous… the Miss Granger he knew would never almost confess to leaving school grounds without permission.
Visibly gathering her courage - which would have been more impressive had she not still been trembling - she said, “Professor, may I have the flask back please? I’ll accept whatever punishment you give me, but I need the potion.”
Snape glared at her. “Who is this potion for, Miss Granger? Miss Weasley? Miss Brown, perhaps? For whom did you waste valuable time and ingredients to help out of a mess of their own making?” Snape wracked his brain, trying to remember who Weasley and Potter had been caught with lately in the Astronomy Tower. “Potter’s little girlfriend perhaps? Did he make an… error in calculation?” Snape smirked.
“Professor, it’s… it’s for me. Please… give it to me.”
Snape’s brows lowered. “For you? How could you be so foolish, girl?”
Miss Granger stood up straight and glared at him. “I wasn’t foolish, Professor. One of the ingredients for my contraceptive potion was contaminated.”
“The monksroot.” Snape looked at the flask again. That explained her unusual paleness during class the day before. But why hadn’t the fool girl just gone to Poppy? The mediwitch had assured him no bottles of the contaminated contraceptive potion had made it into student hands - she had had plenty of older stock that she was using first.
Of course, none of this would assist Miss Granger now. With a heavy sigh, he said through tight lips, “Miss Granger, are you certain on this course of action? Perhaps you should consider speaking with Madam Pomf-”
To his surprise, Miss Granger’s eyes darkened with anger. “Professor Snape. Let me ask you this - how long will a Mudblood carrying the illegitimate child of a Death Eater be allowed to live?”
Chapter 2
~~~~~~~
Snape was immediately at alert, all senses active. With control learned through years of spying, outwardly he showed none of this sudden tension. He bored into her eyes, searching for the spark of truth… it was there. Truth. Dear Merlin. He had questions, many questions, but they would have to wait until they were in a more secure location.
The walls had ears, as the old saying went.
Quite literally, in some rooms of this castle, he thought wryly, his eyes flicking to the portrait hanging just above the supply cabinet. The occupant of the portrait made a good show of ignoring them, but Severus knew that was not the case - the portrait’s head, normally angled down to stare at the lake waters, was now tilted in the direction of their conversation. If portraits breathed, Snape would have sworn that it was holding its breath.
Bloody nosy portraits.
Looking down at the flask in his hand, his nostrils flared in annoyance. This wouldn’t do, not at all. The silly girl had no concept what she planned to do to herself, with this potion. Pointing his wand at the flask, he emptied it with a quick “Evanseco.”
Miss Granger’s indignant gasp, laced with panic, drew his attention. Outwardly ignoring her - aside from a raised eyebrow at her gasp - he stalked to the shelves and began filing through the ingredients, plucking a few jars from the upper shelf and stowing them in his robes. He had almost everything he would need… except… Ah, there it is. With a satisfied nod, he withdrew one more bottle - this one small with a black stopper - and closed the cabinet.
“Come, Miss Granger.”
Her voice shaking, she whispered, “Professor… with all due respect, that was not your decision to make. It is not your decisi-”
“Do silence yourself, Miss Granger.” She opened her mouth to continue and he scowled, quelling her. For now. “Evidently your condition has not made you any more circumspect.” Imperceptibly, he nodded in the direction of the portrait and was grimly pleased when he saw her face go pale and then flush. Meeting his eyes, the young woman nodded.
“Ah, we have comprehension at last. Follow me, Miss Granger.” He brushed past her and strode down the corridor to his private lab, the young woman following obediently.
The walk to his lab seemed to bolster Miss Granger’s courage; as soon as the door was closed and wards were erected she balled her fists and hissed, “You have no right to make that kin-”
“Silence!”
The mouth shut, but the flushed face and clenched jaw told him he would not have long to speak before she began to spout further nonsense. “Sit!” he ordered, pointing at the stool. Scowling, she sat down hard in the chair, reminding him of nothing more than a rebellious first year.
Aside from the condition in which she now found herself, of course.
“Now. Speak. To be more precise, I expect to hear what has occurred that you find yourself in this situation.” He felt the coil of fear grow in anticipation of her words… he hadn’t been informed of any raids during the holidays, and if Miss Granger had been impregnated by a Death Eater during a raid, as seemed likely, it could very well be a sign that his double agent status had been discovered. An end to his usefulness as a spy.
An end to his life.
“Now.”
The young woman appeared to wilt on the stool. Her voice sounded oddly flat as she responded. “I… I didn’t know he was a Death Eater. He invited me for the holidays… I told my parents I was staying here, told the people here that I was going home… he met me at the train station.” A quick, shuddering breath. “I didn’t know, Professor. We’ve been… friends so long, and I didn’t know.”
Snape could barely hold back his frustration. “Who?”
“Viktor Krum.”
Snape froze, his mind working quickly. Many of the Death Eaters - most, if truth be told - only knew three to five others. Aside from those high ranking members of the inner circle, Severus knew very few of his fellow Death Eaters. So… Viktor Krum? Interesting.
“He… I made the contraceptive potion, took it with me… but the monksroot was bad, and when I heard you say that in class, I performed the charm immediately afterwards. It’s positive. I’m… I’m pregnant.”
“With the child of a Death Eater,” Snape said softly, a finger tracing his lips as he stared at her thoughtfully.
“With the child of a Death Eater,” she echoed faintly. Her shoulders slumped.
“How did you find out?” He realized after voicing the question that it could be construed in multiple ways, but Miss Granger appeared to understand his intent.
“His arm… he was called, Summoned, Christmas Eve morning. Early. I was still asleep… he thought I was asleep, anyway, and he didn’t bother to conceal the… his Dark Mark. He uses a glamour charm to conceal it, I think, because I only saw it that morning. Do you do the sa-”
“Miss Granger,” Snape growled.
“Yes, I’m sorry, Professor, just… since I found out, my brain hasn’t been acting right, and things come out of my mouth witho-” He scowled and thankfully, the young woman regained her composure. After a few deep breaths, she continued. “Now I know why he was so concerned that I took a dose of the potion each time. I just… I just thought he was worried about me, my schooling, you know. But… he’s a… a Death Eater.” Her next words were in a whisper, “How could I not know? How could I have not known until now?”
Snape shook his head absently. “Do not blame yourself, Miss Granger. Things are not always as they appear, and wiser wizards than you have been fooled.” He continued to trace his lips, contemplating what this could mean. Severus had never been able to have the Death Eaters in his group followed or arrested, for fear that it would be traced back to him. But now… Viktor Krum would be a catch, indeed. His finances alone meant that he would be a Death Eater in high standing with the Dark Lord. He could even be a junior leader in the Inner Circle. In which case he would know many more members than Snape himself knew…
“Professor? Do you see, now, why I need to take the potion?” Her fists were clenched, he noticed absently. “Why did you-”
Ignoring her, Snape moved to the work table and reached for a small silver cauldron. Pulling ingredient bottles from his robes, he placed them on the table. “The potion you were about to ingest, Miss Granger, is effective but rather… unpleasant.”
“I… I know, Professor. But it was the only one I could brew quickly with limited-”
“Limited skill. Yes.” He glanced over at her and smirked at the darkening hue of her face. Miss Granger certainly did not like to be reminded of her relatively novice abilities in certain fields. The smirk faded as he turned back to the worktable. “Most of the more… painless potions require a Potions Master. Particularly the one I am preparing. It is a much improved version of the potion you nearly ingested.”
He could hear her let out her breath in relief. Pursing his lips, he shook his head. “It will not mitigate all of the unpleasant side effects, Miss Granger, but you will not be writhing in a bed in the Hospital Wing for a day.”
After adding the initial ingredients to the base he adjusted the flame under the cauldron and paused, staring at the simmering liquid. A soft voice from behind startled him.
“Thank you, Professor.”
Shaking off his dark thoughts, he turned and nodded brusquely. “It will take two days to brew.”
Miss Granger bit her lip and slid off of the stool, straightening her robes before sighing. “Well, Professor, thank you again. I’ll-”
“Where, precisely, do you think you’re going, Miss Granger?” Severus’ voice was silky soft.
“I’m… I was going back to my dorm, sir.”
“I’m afraid, Miss Granger, that will not be possible. You and I are going to speak with the Headmaster.”
* * * * * *
Albus Dumbledore’s even voice and gentle gaze appeared to soothe Miss Granger in a way that Snape’s never could. Not that he had tried, of course. His irritation had been too distracting; his frustration at her blindness too great. Who knew how many signs the fool girl had overlooked, signs that would have told her earlier that her lover was a Death Eater? How much time had been wasted due to her ignorance? How-
Snape stopped that line of thought and sighed. It wasn’t the girl’s fault. What he had told her in the lab was the truth - older and wiser witches and wizards had had Death Eaters literally under their noses and never suspected the truth. There was no reason to expect her to be able to do any better; she was only human, a young, overly trusting human. With some effort, he brought his attention back to the conversation.
“I didn’t know, Professor Dumbledore. I’m sorry for lying about going home, and for stealing the potions ingredients, but I didn’t… I didn’t want Madam Pomfrey to think badly of me. I’m hoping to apprentice with her, before continuing my training at St. Mungo’s-”
That’s right, Severus remembered. The young woman had been working with Madam Pomfrey, hoping to gain experience before starting her in-depth training as a mediwitch. In other times, Snape would have seen it as a waste of her talent… but with the war looming, he knew they would have a great need for healers in the coming months and years. Particularly innovative healers, focused on research.
“Many decisions, Miss Granger, that appear to be good at the time prove to be anything but when they are looked back on later…” Dumbledore sighed. “I can’t say I wish it hadn’t occurred, however - or we may have missed this important piece of information.” Suddenly, Dumbledore’s eyes bored into his and Severus nodded slightly. No twinkle now, determination and intelligence reflected in the icy blue.
Hermione shifted on the seat, obviously uncomfortable. Severus switched his attention to the young woman, noting grimly that she appeared near a breaking point. She would be an easy object to manipulate for the Headmaster, if he chose to do so.
And Severus had no doubts on that account. They couldn’t afford not to.
“Professor… what can you do - what can we do - with this information, anyway? He’s… Viktor is a famous Quidditch star, well-respected. I’m just… I’m just-“
A Mudblood.
“A young, Muggleborn witch,” Severus murmured, drawing the attention of the two others in the room. She was perceptive, at least. Her innate sense of fairness did not overcome her sense of reality - not any longer.
Dumbledore nodded and shot an appraising look at her. “We would need more information, something that will could serve as incontrovertible evidence, before we bring this before the Ministry Aurors.” Albus looked at him, then, and the force of the old man’s gaze almost took his breath away. “Due to his position, his family name, and his funds… I think it likely that he has a rather prestigious position with the Death Eaters.”
Severus nodded in curt agreement. Although he had known where this would lead, where it had to lead, it was not an easy task to voice none of his reservations as the Headmaster continued to speak. To distract himself, he turned his attention to the young woman in the chair.
She stared at the Headmaster wide-eyed. Still agitated, nerves clearly on edge… she would be at her most malleable now. Albus always knew the best time to strike. Indeed, years ago the man had played Severus well, subtle one moment and sharp as a blade the next, always cutting at his weakest point - laying open the wound to bleed. Laying open an avenue for his ideas to slip in and take form.
The blade wouldn’t be needed this time, not with Miss Granger. Her nerves were already raw, the wounds of her emotions already laid bare.
Yes. It was the best time.
She answered the Headmaster as he knew she would. Weekend trips, covert… she would visit Viktor Krum as the young man had requested. She would maintain his trust. She would gather information, any information possible. She would spy on her friend, and betray him for the greater good.
And Severus knew, in his heart, that she would weep for it.
Chapter 3
~~~~~~~
“Concentrate!” Severus hissed. “I can tell from here that you haven’t cleared your mind as I asked!”
“I can’t! I can’t, all right? I’m exhausted and this… this…” Hermione drew in a shaky breath. Severus’ eyes narrowed. Surely she didn’t think tears would assist her? “It’s too much right now! I can’t do it, I c-“
Severus cut her off with a scathing, “Gryffindor courage, indeed. Not even a hint of Gryffindor pride.”
“It’s nothing like that, you-“ He raised an eyebrow at the angry tone of voice, contemplating House points. Perhaps not. The young woman had gone through a rather rough few days, he mused. And yet, that was no reason to show so little respect-
His thoughts were interrupted when she sat heavily on the stool, shoulders slumped. “I’m sorry, Professor. I shouldn’t speak to you like that, you’ve been very helpful. I think… I think once I take the potion I’ll be able to concentrate again. I’m so tired, I can’t do anything properly. Can’t this wait until-“
“The Headmaster wishes you to learn Occlumency, Miss Granger. I also feel that it would-“
Beyond all reason, the girl dared to interrupt him once again. “Help me with what I have to do, I know, I know. But, Professor Snape, Viktor isn’t a Legilimens! He can’t-“
“You hope,” Snape hissed. “And five points from Gryffindor for interrupting a professor.”
He wasn’t surprised when the taking of House points had no visible effect on her. She shook her head blankly, and said - in a more moderate tone, “Professor, if he was a Legilimens… don’t you think he’d know about you by now? That you’re a spy? I’ve known for some time now, even spent the summer at Grimmauld Place with you, and... it just doesn’t make sense.” Hermione shook her head absently.
Severus let out a breath. How? How could he get it through these children’s heads that Legilimency was a rough art, unguidable except by the most adept? And even then, it was unpredictable. The mind is not an open book, to be read front to back… He had hoped that Miss Granger would understand the concept better than Potter. Hopefully her current obtuseness was simply a side effect of her condition. “I will try this again, Miss Granger. A Legilimens sees random images from your mind. Only the most learned of wizards have any control over what they see, what they can project. Viktor Krum could easily be a fledgling Legilimens.” He held up a hand to forestall her interruption. “Even if he is not, this is the best method I know to train you in controlling your emotions.”
She subsided, then, sinking back onto the stool. “So I won’t give myself away.”
“Correct.”
“But, Prof-“
“Miss Granger. Hermione,” he snapped. “Let me ask you this - how long will a Mudblood carrying the illegitimate child of a Death Eater be allowed to live?”
The effect of her words from the night before being echoed back to her was gratifying. She tensed, entire body strung taut as a bowstring, and then nodded. “I understand, Professor. If he should sense, get an image of my pregnancy-”
“I see your mind has not been completely damaged by your unfortunate condition, Miss Granger.” Severus pursed his lips together. “Should Mr. Krum discover, or even have the slightest suspicion, he will be forced to act. Swiftly. You are skilled with a wand, young woman, but Mr. Krum not only has years of training on you, he also has had formal instruction in the Dark Arts, and a Seeker’s reflexes. Do not entertain the notion that you have a chance at besting him.”
“So I’m being sent to the lion’s den… bare… I suppose I’m to rely on luck?”
Severus’ hand slammed down on the worktable, making her jump. “Luck? Believe me, Miss Granger, my time spent training you in espionage and Occlumency, preparing your mind for what you must do, will give you a great deal more than luck to rely on.”
Pursing her lips together, she nodded sharply and stood. “Well, then, Professor. We should get back to work, shouldn’t we?”
Black eyes stared into brown, impressed. This young woman… the embodiment of the House of Gryffindor. She will willingly walk into the lion’s den, defenseless as a mouse, aside from her ability at subterfuge. Snape closed his eyes momentarily. Merlin, may whatever deity exists forgive me if I do not prepare her well…
“Professor?”
Her voice, no longer tentative, brought him out of his reverie. Opening his eyes, he looked at her. Strong, young, determined. Willing to sacrifice much to help her friend Potter, to aid in her cause.
He only hoped she wouldn’t have to pay the ultimate sacrifice.
“Clear your mind. Form your will into a shield, a wall…” He forced his voice to a calm, silky thrum. Hypnotic. “Push all emotions into it, until the wall is solid. Until it is a weapon, a defense…” Watching her, he could see her initial struggle. Then the determination reared in her eyes and he could sense the shift. “Legilimens!”
She blocked him for a time, wand down, her mind sharp and solid, blocking him with apparent ease. He nodded in approval, and she smiled slightly.
That was all it took.
The surge of emotion - pleasure… perhaps pride - created a small crack in the wall. A crack he delved into immediately. She had to know the danger, she had to realize…
Images flooded through his mind. The Sorting Hat yelling “Gryffindor!” into the crowded Hall… the Yule Ball, Draco Malfoy’s astonished face as she entered on Viktor Krum’ arm… Harry and Ron, taking down the Troll… Hermione as a child, chasing a small rabbit in a garden… he felt her panic as the flask flew from her hand to his own… Viktor Krum’s hooked nose nuzzling her neck as… Merlin!… soft, smooth skin, damp black hair brushing bare shoulders, hands kneading the young man’s back, nails biting into the flesh as she threw her head back and cried out passionately, her back arching, breasts and throat flushed and exposed to his mind’s eye, the curve of her hip as her legs tightened convulsively around Krum’s body…
He was enthralled by the image, and it took a moment before his conscious mind overrode his baser instincts. No! Wrenching his wand arm down, he broke the connection. But the image would not leave his mind, even when he heard Hermione’s - no, Miss Granger’s - shaky breath.
“Did you see… I mean, did you… oh, God…”
“I saw nothing of-” Severus stopped and regained his self-control. “I saw nothing that surprised me, Miss Granger.”
“But, you… I mean, I… did you…” He glanced at her finally, and saw her flush. He kept his eyes forcibly on her face.
He hid his discomposure behind a sneer - a sneer he knew to be half-hearted. “I am well aware of the method by which you came to be in your current… condition, Miss Granger.”
Her face turned bright red and then, alarmingly, went white.
“Miss Granger?” Severus asked, taking a step forward. Suddenly she jumped from the stool and covered her mouth with a trembling hand, eyes darting to the door. A moment’s confusion, and then it suddenly clicked into place in his mind.
Pregnancy illness.
There was no way she’d be able to make it to the bathroom in time, and he certainly wasn’t going to let her do that in one of his cauldrons. Quickly, he conjured a bucket and thrust it at her, then whirled and left the office, heading for his private lab.
A few minutes later he returned with a small flask. She was still pale but, to his great relief, no longer trembling as he handed her the potion. “Take three drops, every eight hours, until…” he trailed off when he saw her frown. “Miss Granger?”
“Is it safe for-” She swallowed hard and an odd expression came over her face. “I suppose that doesn’t matter, does it? Thank you, Professor.” She seemed to age before his eyes. It was disconcerting.
“I merely wish to avoid unpleasant messes in my office,” Severus said curtly. To his surprise, rather than become offended by his tone, she simply smiled and tilted her head back, letting precisely three drops fall on her tongue. His eyes were riveted to the line of her throat as she bent her head back… soft, smooth…
He blinked, his mind flashing to the image of her head thrown back, crying out as she reached her release…
With great effort he wrenched his mind back from those thoughts and nodded brusquely. “I believe we are done for the evening, Miss Granger. Please return tomorrow evening to resume your training.”
“And take the potion.”
Severus nodded. “And take the potion.” He busied himself, going through parchments on his desk, until he heard the door close behind her. Leaning back, he groaned and rubbed his temples. The images wouldn’t leave.
A student.
A child.
A woman.
Merlin.
* * * * *
“A Pensieve,” Miss Granger repeated, staring at him. It was the following evening and, as they waited for the potion to cool, the discussion had turned to her future spying activities.
Severus nodded, one eyebrow raised. “Yes, Miss Granger. There are likely things that you will miss during your… interactions… with Krum. My job is to find any nuances, any turns of phrase, any evidence that you might overlook. And the best way to do that, is by using a Pensieve.”
“Oh.”
“Oh, indeed,” he said sharply. She didn’t flinch, but he could see the wariness in her expression. Despite himself, his voice softened. “Miss Granger. Hermione. This will not be as easy as you believe. Trust me. Your attention will be so centered on not giving away your knowledge, on maintaining that wall, on acting natural… there will be things you will miss.”
She nodded quietly. He had been pleased by her emotional control during that evening’s lesson. She had successfully blocked his intrusion on all but one occasion, and even then had only allowed one or two innocuous images to flow before pushing him from her mind.
She had a strong will, that was certain.
Hopefully it would serve her well in her task.
“Professor? It’s… I think it’s time.”
Severus looked up at the clock and nodded. Walking to the workbench, he deftly poured the contents of the small silver cauldron into a flask and twirled it, holding it up to the light he studied it critically. Satisfied that it was the proper color and translucency, he handed the flask to Miss Granger.
She hesitated, staring at the bluish liquid for a moment before reaching out a hand to take it from him.
“Drink it all. You should feel minor discomfort, similar to menstrual cramps. Within twelve hours your cycle will begin as normal,” he instructed absently as he turned to clean the cauldron and worktable. “I will want you to stay here for thirty minutes, to ensure no adverse reaction occurs. I have preparations to complete before class tomorrow, but I will ward the room to alert me if-”
A stifled sound behind him caught his attention. Whirling, he caught the shine of tears in her eyes before she shut them.
The flask was still in her hand.
“Miss Granger?” No answer. “Shall I retrieve Madam Pomfrey?” She shook her head, hand tightening around the neck of the flask. Inwardly, he cursed. He was not the person who should be dealing with an emotional girl - young woman - in this type of situation. He frowned. “Hermione. If you are not clear on this, perhaps Madam Pom-”
“No!” Her eyes snapped open, and he was relieved to see that the tears had, for the most part, receded. “No. I’m clear. I am. It’s just… it’s not as easy as I thought. It’s… I don’t know.”
Severus searched his mind for a response. Merlin, why had he set himself up to be in this situation? Finally, he decided to be blunt. “Hermione. Even if Krum was not a Death Eater, your decision would be the same, would it not?”
The hand holding the flask relaxed slightly as she thought over his question. “Yes,” she whispered. “I think… it would, yes. Even if… it would be a harder decision, more guilt, maybe, but I would still do it. School, a career, apprenticeship… a baby doesn’t fit into those things, does it?”
“Not generally, no. Some do manage, but it is not an ideal situation to find one’s self in.”
She stared at the flask for a few more heartbeats and then raised it to her lips, draining it quickly. He averted his eyes as she leaned her head back and swallowed, but it did little good. That image still burned in his mind.
“Thirty minutes, Miss Granger.” He made to leave the room when a hand on his sleeve stopped him. He looked down, startled, to see her staring wide-eyed at her own hand. As if in disbelief. “Miss Granger?”
At the sound of his voice, she snatched her hand back. “Professor Snape, could you… would you stay with me, please? Just until… until I have to leave.” He stared at her incredulously. She wanted him to stay? Surely she didn’t see him as some form of comfort, did she?
“Miss Granger, perhaps I should call Madam Pomf-”
“No! She’ll just hover over me, coddle me - I don’t want that.”
“Well, I can promise you I will not do that.”
“I know. That’s why I asked you to stay. I don’t want that… I just want… I just want some company. But if you’re busy-”
He was about to take the out she had given him when his mouth formed the words, “No. The marking can wait another thirty minutes.” Why? Why had he said that? He didn’t want to-
Then he saw the palpable relief in her eyes, her slow smile… and he couldn’t find it in himself to regret his decision.
Please proceed to Part 2
Title: This Forbidden Knowledge
Rating: R
Requester: settiai
Request: Set during 7th year; Hermione pregnant (not by Snape), Snape finds out. She requested there be no: non-canon character death, no Mary-Sueness.
Disclaimer: Characters and settings are not mine, they belong to JK Rowling. Many thanks to her for allowing us to play with her toys!
Settiai - I hope you enjoy the fic!! My apologies if you don’t - it may not be exactly what you were hoping for but it’s the bunny that bit me when I read the assignment. So, here it goes:
This Forbidden Knowledge
WendyNat
Chapter 1
~~~~~~~~~
“I trust you are all well rested from your holidays?”
Professor Severus Snape enjoyed the looks of confusion on the students’ faces - he could well imagine their thoughts. Professor Snape… being friendly? Merlin, what’s he going to do to us?
He did so like to keep them off-balance. With that aim in mind, his next words came in a low, menacing tone. “It is my dearest hope that some of you, perhaps, were able to rest enough that you will not perform so inadequately in my class as you did the previous term. Perhaps now you are prepared, perhaps now you understand what I expect from my Advanced Potions classes?”
He eyed each student in turn, hovering on Miss Granger’s face with a small sneer. The girl was talented, but far too arrogant for her own good. Rather typical of Gryffindors.
“Then again… perhaps not.”
Turning sharply on his heel, he faced the board and flicked his wand. Potions ingredients appeared on the dark surface. “Turn to page 394.”
He heard books hastily flung open, pages flipped. Satisfied by their quick response he faced the class once again, groaning inwardly when he saw Miss Granger’s frowning face. Trust that young woman to notice that the potion assignment had changed from what he had indicated prior to their departure for the winter holidays.
“Professor? Sir? At the end of last term, you said we would be working on the Wolfsbane potion and since the full moon is tonight shouldn’t we start brewing….” Her voice trailed off.
Snape continued to stare at her, arms folded, for long moments while the class collectively held its breath. His eyes narrowed when she held her ground, and finally - grudgingly - he murmured, “Unfortunately, the monksroot that I obtained prior to the holidays was contaminated.” He noted absently that her face paled at his words and he continued, in his normal sarcastic tones, “Now, Miss Granger, if you don’t mind, I will continue to teach my class. Unless, of course, you feel you can do a superior job?”
He waited a few heartbeats, pinning her with his gaze, until he saw her shake her head slightly, face still pale. “No, sir.”
Effectively cowed, at least by appearance. Snape well knew that the girl was only playacting; she had shouted him down - or attempted to - in enough Order meetings over the summer to prove that she wasn’t intimidated by him any longer. Though her face did seem unusually pale this time… no matter. Realizing that the room was silent, students waiting with bated breath to see if he would take House Points or assign detention, he said smoothly, “No? Very well then. Turn to page 394, and begin.”
* * * * * *
Snape stared at the bubbling cauldron and scowled. Something was missing… the potion, if he’d theorized correctly, ought to have turned a nice purple shade by now. Instead, it was stubbornly remaining the same putrid green it had been for the last twenty four hours. Irritably, he placed the stirring rod down and walked to his bookcases.
There must be some reason… some reason… Idly he ran his slender fingers along the spines of the tomes, eyes narrowing when he caught sight of one that could be useful. Flipping it open, he raised an eyebrow. That could help… Possibly a few pinches of powdered mandrake root could help stabilize the mixture. Unfortunately, rebrewing the necessary potions for the infirmary after the discovery of the monksroot contamination had depleted the stores he normally kept in his personal lab. Scowling, he left his private lab and walked through the corridor to his storeroom.
This late in the evening, it was unlikely that any students would be in the halls. Of course, curfews and dark corridors had never been a deterrent to Potter and his friends in the past. Approaching the door, he raised his wand to remove the wards…
And froze.
The wards were already down.
But his alarms hadn’t gone off… Narrowing his eyes, he inspected the door. The person who had so effectively dismantled his wards had also, somehow, dismantled the alarm spells. His hand tightened on his wand. If it was a student… he mentally reviewed just how many points were available to be deducted from each house.
Except Slytherin, of course. He was certain that any Slytherin student who dared bring down his wards AND alarm spells would have a very good reason. He smirked. If it was a Slytherin student, he may even award points for ingenuity - there weren’t many who were able to remove these types of wards.
Steeling himself, he cautiously opened the door.
And paused for a split second before slamming the door behind him and whispering, “Accio flask.” The cool glass hit his palm and he gripped it, his eyes not straying from the other person in his private storeroom. The person who had dismantled his wards, deactivated his alarm spells, and now stood straight and tall, staring at him defiantly. He glared at her, remaining silent, waiting for her Gryffindor courage to fail. With satisfaction, he finally saw her hands begin to tremble, though her face maintained that expression of cool defiance.
“So, Miss Granger. You have not only defied curfew once again, but you have broken into a professor’s private stores, stolen from that professor’s stores, and brewed an illicit potion. And to think - all of this in just the second day of term. Quite impressive. Did I miss anything?”
Miss Granger shook her head mutely. Snape studied her reaction, his brows lowering in thought. This wasn’t the normal response that Miss Granger had when caught flaunting rules. Her entire body was trembling now, dilated eyes fixed on the flask he held in his hand. To his utter confusion, those eyes began to fill with tears.
He frowned. “Miss Granger? You should be well aware that tears will not aid you in your current situation. Now, you will tell me what ingredients you have pilfered, and then I will tell you what, precisely, your punishment shall be.”
Still, Miss Granger remained silent. Her jaw worked, but no sound came out. Finally, she clamped her mouth shut and glared at him through tear-brimmed eyes.
Severus was caught off guard. This was a far cry from the Miss Granger he had come to know over the summer, arguing with him over every single detail brought up in an Order meeting. A far cry from the Miss Granger who kept careful control over her emotions in his presence, wary to show him any chink that he could drive a well-pointed barb through. And now, she stood before him - her emotions raw and open. In his private storage room, after curfew, with Potter’s invisibility cloak thrown carelessly on the floor.
What had she brewed?
Lifting the flask to the light, he studied it critically. An invisibility potion? No… no point in that… she had Potter’s cloak to use, after all. But the only other potion he could think of that created that peculiar reddish-brown residue along the bottom of the container was-
“An abortion potion, Miss Granger?”
“Please, Professor… I only needed the final ingredient, the mandrake root powder… and there wasn’t any available in-”
He raised an eyebrow, well aware of why she had suddenly stopped. Obviously she was off-balance, nervous… the Miss Granger he knew would never almost confess to leaving school grounds without permission.
Visibly gathering her courage - which would have been more impressive had she not still been trembling - she said, “Professor, may I have the flask back please? I’ll accept whatever punishment you give me, but I need the potion.”
Snape glared at her. “Who is this potion for, Miss Granger? Miss Weasley? Miss Brown, perhaps? For whom did you waste valuable time and ingredients to help out of a mess of their own making?” Snape wracked his brain, trying to remember who Weasley and Potter had been caught with lately in the Astronomy Tower. “Potter’s little girlfriend perhaps? Did he make an… error in calculation?” Snape smirked.
“Professor, it’s… it’s for me. Please… give it to me.”
Snape’s brows lowered. “For you? How could you be so foolish, girl?”
Miss Granger stood up straight and glared at him. “I wasn’t foolish, Professor. One of the ingredients for my contraceptive potion was contaminated.”
“The monksroot.” Snape looked at the flask again. That explained her unusual paleness during class the day before. But why hadn’t the fool girl just gone to Poppy? The mediwitch had assured him no bottles of the contaminated contraceptive potion had made it into student hands - she had had plenty of older stock that she was using first.
Of course, none of this would assist Miss Granger now. With a heavy sigh, he said through tight lips, “Miss Granger, are you certain on this course of action? Perhaps you should consider speaking with Madam Pomf-”
To his surprise, Miss Granger’s eyes darkened with anger. “Professor Snape. Let me ask you this - how long will a Mudblood carrying the illegitimate child of a Death Eater be allowed to live?”
Chapter 2
~~~~~~~
Snape was immediately at alert, all senses active. With control learned through years of spying, outwardly he showed none of this sudden tension. He bored into her eyes, searching for the spark of truth… it was there. Truth. Dear Merlin. He had questions, many questions, but they would have to wait until they were in a more secure location.
The walls had ears, as the old saying went.
Quite literally, in some rooms of this castle, he thought wryly, his eyes flicking to the portrait hanging just above the supply cabinet. The occupant of the portrait made a good show of ignoring them, but Severus knew that was not the case - the portrait’s head, normally angled down to stare at the lake waters, was now tilted in the direction of their conversation. If portraits breathed, Snape would have sworn that it was holding its breath.
Bloody nosy portraits.
Looking down at the flask in his hand, his nostrils flared in annoyance. This wouldn’t do, not at all. The silly girl had no concept what she planned to do to herself, with this potion. Pointing his wand at the flask, he emptied it with a quick “Evanseco.”
Miss Granger’s indignant gasp, laced with panic, drew his attention. Outwardly ignoring her - aside from a raised eyebrow at her gasp - he stalked to the shelves and began filing through the ingredients, plucking a few jars from the upper shelf and stowing them in his robes. He had almost everything he would need… except… Ah, there it is. With a satisfied nod, he withdrew one more bottle - this one small with a black stopper - and closed the cabinet.
“Come, Miss Granger.”
Her voice shaking, she whispered, “Professor… with all due respect, that was not your decision to make. It is not your decisi-”
“Do silence yourself, Miss Granger.” She opened her mouth to continue and he scowled, quelling her. For now. “Evidently your condition has not made you any more circumspect.” Imperceptibly, he nodded in the direction of the portrait and was grimly pleased when he saw her face go pale and then flush. Meeting his eyes, the young woman nodded.
“Ah, we have comprehension at last. Follow me, Miss Granger.” He brushed past her and strode down the corridor to his private lab, the young woman following obediently.
The walk to his lab seemed to bolster Miss Granger’s courage; as soon as the door was closed and wards were erected she balled her fists and hissed, “You have no right to make that kin-”
“Silence!”
The mouth shut, but the flushed face and clenched jaw told him he would not have long to speak before she began to spout further nonsense. “Sit!” he ordered, pointing at the stool. Scowling, she sat down hard in the chair, reminding him of nothing more than a rebellious first year.
Aside from the condition in which she now found herself, of course.
“Now. Speak. To be more precise, I expect to hear what has occurred that you find yourself in this situation.” He felt the coil of fear grow in anticipation of her words… he hadn’t been informed of any raids during the holidays, and if Miss Granger had been impregnated by a Death Eater during a raid, as seemed likely, it could very well be a sign that his double agent status had been discovered. An end to his usefulness as a spy.
An end to his life.
“Now.”
The young woman appeared to wilt on the stool. Her voice sounded oddly flat as she responded. “I… I didn’t know he was a Death Eater. He invited me for the holidays… I told my parents I was staying here, told the people here that I was going home… he met me at the train station.” A quick, shuddering breath. “I didn’t know, Professor. We’ve been… friends so long, and I didn’t know.”
Snape could barely hold back his frustration. “Who?”
“Viktor Krum.”
Snape froze, his mind working quickly. Many of the Death Eaters - most, if truth be told - only knew three to five others. Aside from those high ranking members of the inner circle, Severus knew very few of his fellow Death Eaters. So… Viktor Krum? Interesting.
“He… I made the contraceptive potion, took it with me… but the monksroot was bad, and when I heard you say that in class, I performed the charm immediately afterwards. It’s positive. I’m… I’m pregnant.”
“With the child of a Death Eater,” Snape said softly, a finger tracing his lips as he stared at her thoughtfully.
“With the child of a Death Eater,” she echoed faintly. Her shoulders slumped.
“How did you find out?” He realized after voicing the question that it could be construed in multiple ways, but Miss Granger appeared to understand his intent.
“His arm… he was called, Summoned, Christmas Eve morning. Early. I was still asleep… he thought I was asleep, anyway, and he didn’t bother to conceal the… his Dark Mark. He uses a glamour charm to conceal it, I think, because I only saw it that morning. Do you do the sa-”
“Miss Granger,” Snape growled.
“Yes, I’m sorry, Professor, just… since I found out, my brain hasn’t been acting right, and things come out of my mouth witho-” He scowled and thankfully, the young woman regained her composure. After a few deep breaths, she continued. “Now I know why he was so concerned that I took a dose of the potion each time. I just… I just thought he was worried about me, my schooling, you know. But… he’s a… a Death Eater.” Her next words were in a whisper, “How could I not know? How could I have not known until now?”
Snape shook his head absently. “Do not blame yourself, Miss Granger. Things are not always as they appear, and wiser wizards than you have been fooled.” He continued to trace his lips, contemplating what this could mean. Severus had never been able to have the Death Eaters in his group followed or arrested, for fear that it would be traced back to him. But now… Viktor Krum would be a catch, indeed. His finances alone meant that he would be a Death Eater in high standing with the Dark Lord. He could even be a junior leader in the Inner Circle. In which case he would know many more members than Snape himself knew…
“Professor? Do you see, now, why I need to take the potion?” Her fists were clenched, he noticed absently. “Why did you-”
Ignoring her, Snape moved to the work table and reached for a small silver cauldron. Pulling ingredient bottles from his robes, he placed them on the table. “The potion you were about to ingest, Miss Granger, is effective but rather… unpleasant.”
“I… I know, Professor. But it was the only one I could brew quickly with limited-”
“Limited skill. Yes.” He glanced over at her and smirked at the darkening hue of her face. Miss Granger certainly did not like to be reminded of her relatively novice abilities in certain fields. The smirk faded as he turned back to the worktable. “Most of the more… painless potions require a Potions Master. Particularly the one I am preparing. It is a much improved version of the potion you nearly ingested.”
He could hear her let out her breath in relief. Pursing his lips, he shook his head. “It will not mitigate all of the unpleasant side effects, Miss Granger, but you will not be writhing in a bed in the Hospital Wing for a day.”
After adding the initial ingredients to the base he adjusted the flame under the cauldron and paused, staring at the simmering liquid. A soft voice from behind startled him.
“Thank you, Professor.”
Shaking off his dark thoughts, he turned and nodded brusquely. “It will take two days to brew.”
Miss Granger bit her lip and slid off of the stool, straightening her robes before sighing. “Well, Professor, thank you again. I’ll-”
“Where, precisely, do you think you’re going, Miss Granger?” Severus’ voice was silky soft.
“I’m… I was going back to my dorm, sir.”
“I’m afraid, Miss Granger, that will not be possible. You and I are going to speak with the Headmaster.”
* * * * * *
Albus Dumbledore’s even voice and gentle gaze appeared to soothe Miss Granger in a way that Snape’s never could. Not that he had tried, of course. His irritation had been too distracting; his frustration at her blindness too great. Who knew how many signs the fool girl had overlooked, signs that would have told her earlier that her lover was a Death Eater? How much time had been wasted due to her ignorance? How-
Snape stopped that line of thought and sighed. It wasn’t the girl’s fault. What he had told her in the lab was the truth - older and wiser witches and wizards had had Death Eaters literally under their noses and never suspected the truth. There was no reason to expect her to be able to do any better; she was only human, a young, overly trusting human. With some effort, he brought his attention back to the conversation.
“I didn’t know, Professor Dumbledore. I’m sorry for lying about going home, and for stealing the potions ingredients, but I didn’t… I didn’t want Madam Pomfrey to think badly of me. I’m hoping to apprentice with her, before continuing my training at St. Mungo’s-”
That’s right, Severus remembered. The young woman had been working with Madam Pomfrey, hoping to gain experience before starting her in-depth training as a mediwitch. In other times, Snape would have seen it as a waste of her talent… but with the war looming, he knew they would have a great need for healers in the coming months and years. Particularly innovative healers, focused on research.
“Many decisions, Miss Granger, that appear to be good at the time prove to be anything but when they are looked back on later…” Dumbledore sighed. “I can’t say I wish it hadn’t occurred, however - or we may have missed this important piece of information.” Suddenly, Dumbledore’s eyes bored into his and Severus nodded slightly. No twinkle now, determination and intelligence reflected in the icy blue.
Hermione shifted on the seat, obviously uncomfortable. Severus switched his attention to the young woman, noting grimly that she appeared near a breaking point. She would be an easy object to manipulate for the Headmaster, if he chose to do so.
And Severus had no doubts on that account. They couldn’t afford not to.
“Professor… what can you do - what can we do - with this information, anyway? He’s… Viktor is a famous Quidditch star, well-respected. I’m just… I’m just-“
A Mudblood.
“A young, Muggleborn witch,” Severus murmured, drawing the attention of the two others in the room. She was perceptive, at least. Her innate sense of fairness did not overcome her sense of reality - not any longer.
Dumbledore nodded and shot an appraising look at her. “We would need more information, something that will could serve as incontrovertible evidence, before we bring this before the Ministry Aurors.” Albus looked at him, then, and the force of the old man’s gaze almost took his breath away. “Due to his position, his family name, and his funds… I think it likely that he has a rather prestigious position with the Death Eaters.”
Severus nodded in curt agreement. Although he had known where this would lead, where it had to lead, it was not an easy task to voice none of his reservations as the Headmaster continued to speak. To distract himself, he turned his attention to the young woman in the chair.
She stared at the Headmaster wide-eyed. Still agitated, nerves clearly on edge… she would be at her most malleable now. Albus always knew the best time to strike. Indeed, years ago the man had played Severus well, subtle one moment and sharp as a blade the next, always cutting at his weakest point - laying open the wound to bleed. Laying open an avenue for his ideas to slip in and take form.
The blade wouldn’t be needed this time, not with Miss Granger. Her nerves were already raw, the wounds of her emotions already laid bare.
Yes. It was the best time.
She answered the Headmaster as he knew she would. Weekend trips, covert… she would visit Viktor Krum as the young man had requested. She would maintain his trust. She would gather information, any information possible. She would spy on her friend, and betray him for the greater good.
And Severus knew, in his heart, that she would weep for it.
Chapter 3
~~~~~~~
“Concentrate!” Severus hissed. “I can tell from here that you haven’t cleared your mind as I asked!”
“I can’t! I can’t, all right? I’m exhausted and this… this…” Hermione drew in a shaky breath. Severus’ eyes narrowed. Surely she didn’t think tears would assist her? “It’s too much right now! I can’t do it, I c-“
Severus cut her off with a scathing, “Gryffindor courage, indeed. Not even a hint of Gryffindor pride.”
“It’s nothing like that, you-“ He raised an eyebrow at the angry tone of voice, contemplating House points. Perhaps not. The young woman had gone through a rather rough few days, he mused. And yet, that was no reason to show so little respect-
His thoughts were interrupted when she sat heavily on the stool, shoulders slumped. “I’m sorry, Professor. I shouldn’t speak to you like that, you’ve been very helpful. I think… I think once I take the potion I’ll be able to concentrate again. I’m so tired, I can’t do anything properly. Can’t this wait until-“
“The Headmaster wishes you to learn Occlumency, Miss Granger. I also feel that it would-“
Beyond all reason, the girl dared to interrupt him once again. “Help me with what I have to do, I know, I know. But, Professor Snape, Viktor isn’t a Legilimens! He can’t-“
“You hope,” Snape hissed. “And five points from Gryffindor for interrupting a professor.”
He wasn’t surprised when the taking of House points had no visible effect on her. She shook her head blankly, and said - in a more moderate tone, “Professor, if he was a Legilimens… don’t you think he’d know about you by now? That you’re a spy? I’ve known for some time now, even spent the summer at Grimmauld Place with you, and... it just doesn’t make sense.” Hermione shook her head absently.
Severus let out a breath. How? How could he get it through these children’s heads that Legilimency was a rough art, unguidable except by the most adept? And even then, it was unpredictable. The mind is not an open book, to be read front to back… He had hoped that Miss Granger would understand the concept better than Potter. Hopefully her current obtuseness was simply a side effect of her condition. “I will try this again, Miss Granger. A Legilimens sees random images from your mind. Only the most learned of wizards have any control over what they see, what they can project. Viktor Krum could easily be a fledgling Legilimens.” He held up a hand to forestall her interruption. “Even if he is not, this is the best method I know to train you in controlling your emotions.”
She subsided, then, sinking back onto the stool. “So I won’t give myself away.”
“Correct.”
“But, Prof-“
“Miss Granger. Hermione,” he snapped. “Let me ask you this - how long will a Mudblood carrying the illegitimate child of a Death Eater be allowed to live?”
The effect of her words from the night before being echoed back to her was gratifying. She tensed, entire body strung taut as a bowstring, and then nodded. “I understand, Professor. If he should sense, get an image of my pregnancy-”
“I see your mind has not been completely damaged by your unfortunate condition, Miss Granger.” Severus pursed his lips together. “Should Mr. Krum discover, or even have the slightest suspicion, he will be forced to act. Swiftly. You are skilled with a wand, young woman, but Mr. Krum not only has years of training on you, he also has had formal instruction in the Dark Arts, and a Seeker’s reflexes. Do not entertain the notion that you have a chance at besting him.”
“So I’m being sent to the lion’s den… bare… I suppose I’m to rely on luck?”
Severus’ hand slammed down on the worktable, making her jump. “Luck? Believe me, Miss Granger, my time spent training you in espionage and Occlumency, preparing your mind for what you must do, will give you a great deal more than luck to rely on.”
Pursing her lips together, she nodded sharply and stood. “Well, then, Professor. We should get back to work, shouldn’t we?”
Black eyes stared into brown, impressed. This young woman… the embodiment of the House of Gryffindor. She will willingly walk into the lion’s den, defenseless as a mouse, aside from her ability at subterfuge. Snape closed his eyes momentarily. Merlin, may whatever deity exists forgive me if I do not prepare her well…
“Professor?”
Her voice, no longer tentative, brought him out of his reverie. Opening his eyes, he looked at her. Strong, young, determined. Willing to sacrifice much to help her friend Potter, to aid in her cause.
He only hoped she wouldn’t have to pay the ultimate sacrifice.
“Clear your mind. Form your will into a shield, a wall…” He forced his voice to a calm, silky thrum. Hypnotic. “Push all emotions into it, until the wall is solid. Until it is a weapon, a defense…” Watching her, he could see her initial struggle. Then the determination reared in her eyes and he could sense the shift. “Legilimens!”
She blocked him for a time, wand down, her mind sharp and solid, blocking him with apparent ease. He nodded in approval, and she smiled slightly.
That was all it took.
The surge of emotion - pleasure… perhaps pride - created a small crack in the wall. A crack he delved into immediately. She had to know the danger, she had to realize…
Images flooded through his mind. The Sorting Hat yelling “Gryffindor!” into the crowded Hall… the Yule Ball, Draco Malfoy’s astonished face as she entered on Viktor Krum’ arm… Harry and Ron, taking down the Troll… Hermione as a child, chasing a small rabbit in a garden… he felt her panic as the flask flew from her hand to his own… Viktor Krum’s hooked nose nuzzling her neck as… Merlin!… soft, smooth skin, damp black hair brushing bare shoulders, hands kneading the young man’s back, nails biting into the flesh as she threw her head back and cried out passionately, her back arching, breasts and throat flushed and exposed to his mind’s eye, the curve of her hip as her legs tightened convulsively around Krum’s body…
He was enthralled by the image, and it took a moment before his conscious mind overrode his baser instincts. No! Wrenching his wand arm down, he broke the connection. But the image would not leave his mind, even when he heard Hermione’s - no, Miss Granger’s - shaky breath.
“Did you see… I mean, did you… oh, God…”
“I saw nothing of-” Severus stopped and regained his self-control. “I saw nothing that surprised me, Miss Granger.”
“But, you… I mean, I… did you…” He glanced at her finally, and saw her flush. He kept his eyes forcibly on her face.
He hid his discomposure behind a sneer - a sneer he knew to be half-hearted. “I am well aware of the method by which you came to be in your current… condition, Miss Granger.”
Her face turned bright red and then, alarmingly, went white.
“Miss Granger?” Severus asked, taking a step forward. Suddenly she jumped from the stool and covered her mouth with a trembling hand, eyes darting to the door. A moment’s confusion, and then it suddenly clicked into place in his mind.
Pregnancy illness.
There was no way she’d be able to make it to the bathroom in time, and he certainly wasn’t going to let her do that in one of his cauldrons. Quickly, he conjured a bucket and thrust it at her, then whirled and left the office, heading for his private lab.
A few minutes later he returned with a small flask. She was still pale but, to his great relief, no longer trembling as he handed her the potion. “Take three drops, every eight hours, until…” he trailed off when he saw her frown. “Miss Granger?”
“Is it safe for-” She swallowed hard and an odd expression came over her face. “I suppose that doesn’t matter, does it? Thank you, Professor.” She seemed to age before his eyes. It was disconcerting.
“I merely wish to avoid unpleasant messes in my office,” Severus said curtly. To his surprise, rather than become offended by his tone, she simply smiled and tilted her head back, letting precisely three drops fall on her tongue. His eyes were riveted to the line of her throat as she bent her head back… soft, smooth…
He blinked, his mind flashing to the image of her head thrown back, crying out as she reached her release…
With great effort he wrenched his mind back from those thoughts and nodded brusquely. “I believe we are done for the evening, Miss Granger. Please return tomorrow evening to resume your training.”
“And take the potion.”
Severus nodded. “And take the potion.” He busied himself, going through parchments on his desk, until he heard the door close behind her. Leaning back, he groaned and rubbed his temples. The images wouldn’t leave.
A student.
A child.
A woman.
Merlin.
* * * * *
“A Pensieve,” Miss Granger repeated, staring at him. It was the following evening and, as they waited for the potion to cool, the discussion had turned to her future spying activities.
Severus nodded, one eyebrow raised. “Yes, Miss Granger. There are likely things that you will miss during your… interactions… with Krum. My job is to find any nuances, any turns of phrase, any evidence that you might overlook. And the best way to do that, is by using a Pensieve.”
“Oh.”
“Oh, indeed,” he said sharply. She didn’t flinch, but he could see the wariness in her expression. Despite himself, his voice softened. “Miss Granger. Hermione. This will not be as easy as you believe. Trust me. Your attention will be so centered on not giving away your knowledge, on maintaining that wall, on acting natural… there will be things you will miss.”
She nodded quietly. He had been pleased by her emotional control during that evening’s lesson. She had successfully blocked his intrusion on all but one occasion, and even then had only allowed one or two innocuous images to flow before pushing him from her mind.
She had a strong will, that was certain.
Hopefully it would serve her well in her task.
“Professor? It’s… I think it’s time.”
Severus looked up at the clock and nodded. Walking to the workbench, he deftly poured the contents of the small silver cauldron into a flask and twirled it, holding it up to the light he studied it critically. Satisfied that it was the proper color and translucency, he handed the flask to Miss Granger.
She hesitated, staring at the bluish liquid for a moment before reaching out a hand to take it from him.
“Drink it all. You should feel minor discomfort, similar to menstrual cramps. Within twelve hours your cycle will begin as normal,” he instructed absently as he turned to clean the cauldron and worktable. “I will want you to stay here for thirty minutes, to ensure no adverse reaction occurs. I have preparations to complete before class tomorrow, but I will ward the room to alert me if-”
A stifled sound behind him caught his attention. Whirling, he caught the shine of tears in her eyes before she shut them.
The flask was still in her hand.
“Miss Granger?” No answer. “Shall I retrieve Madam Pomfrey?” She shook her head, hand tightening around the neck of the flask. Inwardly, he cursed. He was not the person who should be dealing with an emotional girl - young woman - in this type of situation. He frowned. “Hermione. If you are not clear on this, perhaps Madam Pom-”
“No!” Her eyes snapped open, and he was relieved to see that the tears had, for the most part, receded. “No. I’m clear. I am. It’s just… it’s not as easy as I thought. It’s… I don’t know.”
Severus searched his mind for a response. Merlin, why had he set himself up to be in this situation? Finally, he decided to be blunt. “Hermione. Even if Krum was not a Death Eater, your decision would be the same, would it not?”
The hand holding the flask relaxed slightly as she thought over his question. “Yes,” she whispered. “I think… it would, yes. Even if… it would be a harder decision, more guilt, maybe, but I would still do it. School, a career, apprenticeship… a baby doesn’t fit into those things, does it?”
“Not generally, no. Some do manage, but it is not an ideal situation to find one’s self in.”
She stared at the flask for a few more heartbeats and then raised it to her lips, draining it quickly. He averted his eyes as she leaned her head back and swallowed, but it did little good. That image still burned in his mind.
“Thirty minutes, Miss Granger.” He made to leave the room when a hand on his sleeve stopped him. He looked down, startled, to see her staring wide-eyed at her own hand. As if in disbelief. “Miss Granger?”
At the sound of his voice, she snatched her hand back. “Professor Snape, could you… would you stay with me, please? Just until… until I have to leave.” He stared at her incredulously. She wanted him to stay? Surely she didn’t see him as some form of comfort, did she?
“Miss Granger, perhaps I should call Madam Pomf-”
“No! She’ll just hover over me, coddle me - I don’t want that.”
“Well, I can promise you I will not do that.”
“I know. That’s why I asked you to stay. I don’t want that… I just want… I just want some company. But if you’re busy-”
He was about to take the out she had given him when his mouth formed the words, “No. The marking can wait another thirty minutes.” Why? Why had he said that? He didn’t want to-
Then he saw the palpable relief in her eyes, her slow smile… and he couldn’t find it in himself to regret his decision.
Please proceed to Part 2