Drabble: Before You Came

[wendymr]

Something a little different from me - a second-person drabble. But this one insisted on being written that way.

Fic: Before You Came
Author: wmr
Characters: Tenth Doctor, Rose Tyler, Mickey Smith, Ninth Doctor (sort of)
Summary: You follow, coat flapping at your heels, desperate to catch another glimpse of the unawakened wonder in her eyes.

For christn7,

Comments

[ameretrifle]

I have a thing for second person, so I chanced it even though it's Ten. Excellent.

And the second one is the best horror fic I believe I've ever read. *huddles up in extra blankets* I hope it'd just be a dream; what scares me is, it's perfectly in character. In retaliation, to preserve my own peace of mind, please forgive me if I continue:

You've been watching them, like you've got a feeling he watched you: you've been praying and praying to every god you don't believe in that a different explanation would turn up, any different explanation, anything-- but the taste of the anamoly, the way she's just-visibly unnerved by how well he knows her-- there is no other explanation, and you've never felt so queasy, not even when you were dying.

He points her toward a shop, lets her out of his sight; you grab his arm, hard, and pull him into the alley. God, it is you. You'd been hoping that somehow it wasn't-- cloned, brainwashed, anything, anything-- and the look in his eyes says he knows why you're here.

"You altered history-- cocked up our own timeline--" you say, and you're shaking. You haven't done that in-- "Did you think I wouldn't notice? That I wouldn't figure it out? What the f**k were you thinking?!"

He opens his mouth; shuts it; looks away. "I lost her," he says.

"So you decided to take her again? Before you did the first time? How the--" You can't even find the words; maybe they're stuck in the tears filling your eyes, the cracks widening in your hearts. "Tell me, you selfish son of a bitch-- what hasn't she done, now? What haven't we done, what hasn't happened? What the f**k have you done?"

"What I had to," he says, and turns his back on you. "It's done. You can't undo it now."

True. Which leaves you with only one choice-- and how much has he forgotten, not to see that? Not to remember how you began this life, how you'll probably end it?

Your race is dead, and apparently, you'll be next-- in every way that matters, anyway, except the one that would make the world safe from your meddling. You'd thought it couldn't get any worse, but this-- you don't even want to bother, anymore, you don't even want to try, if this is what you'll become. But you know turning the gun on yourself would only bring that f**king git around sooner.

Besides, you think, heading toward the shop before the first person comes to investigate the noise. One suicide's enough for any day.

Sorry to break up the Ten love. But that hurt. *shiver*

[wendymr]

Wow. That's brilliant :) Seriously, I love it.

First, I don't see my drabble as entirely in character for Ten - you know, a lot of fans would see the 'destroying the universe to get Rose back' as more in character for Nine, but I think they're both capable of sacrificing their own wants for the good of the universe and of being selfish when they feel like it. I think that, if Ten were ever to do something like that drabble of mine above, he'd have to be driven to his limits and beyond, for example right after Voyage of the Damned, when he would have been so incredibly broken after all those losses, between LotTL and VotD.

That said, I love what you did here. Not a drabble, but a brilliant ficlet, and... I think we should do more with this. What do you think?

If you're interested, let's take it to email - I'm at wendy at lcfanfic dot com.

[kae_nine]

Yep, fascinating. Because by taking her hand first, Ten certainly messed up with the timeline big time. Like wendymr says, after VoTD he's so broken, so tired of losing everyone he cares for, that he might actually stop caring about the rules. In any case, I'm pining for a full-length story about this issue!

[catsfiction]

God that sent shivers down my spine. It pins down a moral hollowness in Ten by the end of S3 that Nine never visibly sunk to, even at his most cruel and cynical. I hope you two work together on something - it would be as gripping as "Cheating Time", and that's saying a lot.

[wendymr]

Thank you! Yes, what ameritrifle's done here is brilliant - chilling and scary. As for Ten, if we take it further (and I would have to negotiate all this kind of stuff with ameritrifle) I could only see Ten doing this if he was at the end of his tether, much the same as he was in Cheating Time, because even as devastated as he was after losing Rose he wouldn't have contemplated this.

Anyway, it's up to ameritrifle - we'll see. I'd certainly enjoy doing more with this :)

[catsfiction]

The reason Cheating Time works as a set-up is that he's still wavering and fighting temptation when Rose sees him and makes the choice for him. After that he's just drawn in and doesn't know how to retreat, assuming he wants to. It's much more tragic and IC than it would be if he actually set out with a pre-meditated desire to rewrite history.

But I think you might get away with it if you tell the beginning, at least, from Nine's POV. That way you retain a sense of the Doctor as a more controlled and moral person, and hence we sympathise.

[wendymr]

Well, the idea of that follow-up drabble of mine is that Ten didn't plan it. It wasn't in any way premeditated. He knows Nine's coming, is going to watch history repeat itself... and then suddenly finds himself grabbing her.

ameritrifle's been in contact, so we'll discuss... but I'm thinking of something which would indeed start with my drabble, then her ficlet, and move on from there, so readers would have to wait to see what was going through Ten's mind. Anyway, we'll see - discussions to come with ameritrifle first :)