TAGD-verse fic: Love Suffers Long
Story: Love Suffers Long
Author: wmr / wendymr
Characters: Rose Tyler, Ninth Doctor (Pete's World), Jack Harkness (Pete's World)
Rated: PG
Universe: Through A Glass Darkly
Summary: "He’s probably in the Zero Room. And... well, best just to leave him there."
Written for sahiya as part of Fandom Stocking 2011; I only just realised that I never posted this here, and since it's part of the TAGD-verse I really should. This story takes place seven months after the end of Through A Glass Darkly, and a year after Burned.
Love Suffers Long
“Something wrong with Jack? Haven’t seen him for hours, an’ he was really quiet earlier.” Rose leans across the console, concerned gaze meeting the Doctor’s eyes.
The Doctor doesn’t answer immediately, and she suspects he’s wondering whether he can get away with evasion, or even outright denial. She gets in ahead of him with a worried frown and a hand covering his. “I mean, I know he’s much closer to you than me. He might not even tell me if I’d done something to upset him.”
“Bollocks.” The Doctor’s expression tells her as eloquently as his words what he thinks of her statement. “He’d tell you, and you know it. Been a long time since he avoided anything like that with you.”
“He’s avoiding something.” She drops the subtle cajoling and straightens, now matter-of-fact. “Come on, he never does this kind of disappearing act. I went to look for him and I can’t find him anywhere.”
This time the Doctor sighs. “He’s probably in the Zero Room. And... well, best just to leave him there. He’ll come and find us when he’s ready.”
“The Zero...” Right. She vaguely remembers her other Doctor mentioning that room once, not long after he regenerated. He’d told her that the best thing she could have done for him during his regeneration was to have taken him there. Lot of use telling her that then, she’d pointed out. Would’ve been better if he’d said it at the time. Or, better still, she’d added with barely-veiled sarcasm, if he’d bothered to tell her some time in advance of his regeneration - any time at all, really - that such a thing was possible.
They hadn’t spoken for a couple of hours after that. She’d never found out exactly what the Zero Room was.
“So what’s that?” she asks now. “I mean, I know it has something to do with regeneration, but that doesn’t explain why Jack’d be there.”
“ ‘S not just for during regeneration.” The Doctor fiddles with controls on the console, but he’s not actually doing anything - she knows him well enough to be able to tell. He’s either trying to distract her, or himself. “It’s called the Zero Room because it’s isolated from all impulses and parts of the atmosphere that can be harmful or distracting. It’s... calm, I s’pose you’d say, but not in any way you’d imagine. It can either feel like nothing at all - hence Zero Room - or the TARDIS can simulate any kind of environment she thinks’d be most soothing for the occupant. That’s why it’s good for Jack.”
“Okay.” She nods; the properties of the room itself aren’t difficult to understand. “But why’s Jack there?”
“Because...” The Doctor lets out a slow breath. “It’s a year today since Schattenwelt was destroyed.”
***
She’s waiting outside the door when Jack emerges at last three hours later. She’d thought the Doctor would refuse to show her where to find the Zero Room, and had been ready to try and see if the TARDIS would bring her there. But he’d sighed and muttered something that sounded like “On your own head...” and escorted her here. He didn’t stay.
There’ve been several moments over the last few hours where she’s almost had second thoughts and left; there’s no way that this is anything but a very painful time for Jack, and she’s probably the last person he’ll want to see when he comes out. No matter that he’s come to terms with her humanity, that he doesn’t see her any more as one of the enemy who massacred his people, that they’re lovers; on this day the memories are likely to be far stronger than his feelings for her.
But despite her doubts she’s stayed - because the Doctor would never have brought her here if he’d believed Jack would react badly, and because she loves him too much to be a coward over this. The one thing he needs most right now is support from the people who love him, and if she has to deal with some initial antipathy from him that’s all right.
He’s looking determined as he walks through the door. She’s about to speak, to say his name, when his head turns in her direction and he sees her. “How did you - oh. The Doctor, right?” His voice is rusty from lack of use.
“Nagged him until he gave in,” she explains, taking the blame.”He didn’t want to tell me.”
She still can’t tell if he’s going to run, or even hurl abuse at her. But she moves towards him, all the same.
Jack shakes his head. “He shouldn’t still be-” He breaks off and looks at her, looks hard at her. “You thought it too.” As she frowns questioningly, he continues. “That I’d lose it and forget everything we’ve been to each other for the past seven months.”
“I didn’t think you’d forget.” She’s standing still now, not taking her gaze off him. “Just that other stuff might get in the way.”
He glances away for a moment, and she knows she’s right. But then he’s looking at her again, pain and need and love blazing from his eyes, and she knows that it’s nothing like that simple.
But this is. “Jack.” Arms outstretched, she reaches for him, but doesn’t step closer, doesn’t actually touch him. This has to be his choice.
“Rose.” His voice breaks partway through her name, and he stumbles into her arms. “You’re not them. Never could be. And I would never have made it through the last year without you as well as the Doctor.” He buries his face in her hair, still talking, his words muffled now. “Love you - you and him both. Was actually coming to tell you that.”
“Don’t need to tell us that, lad,” the Doctor says from behind them, and Rose starts. How long’s he been there? And who was he there to protect - her or Jack? “Not that it’s not nice to hear it.”
Jack frees one arm, reaching for the Doctor and bringing him into the embrace. “I’m all right,” he says, sounding more himself now. “Just needed... It’s not really grief any more, you know? More... remembering. Cause I’m the only one who can.”
“You’re not, though.” The words come to Rose’s lips before she’s even realised what she’s saying - but in that instant she knows it’s true. “Cause you can tell us, yeah?”
“Show us, even.” The Doctor turns them in his arms, one long arm looped around each of their shoulders, so that they’re facing the Zero Room door. “We can go back in there and you can show us everything. All the good times, your favourite places, everything you never want to forget.”
Jack hesitates for a moment, and then smiles. “Yeah. I’d like that.”
He steps forward, out of the Doctor’s embrace, and extends a hand to both of them. “Come and see my home with me.”
They take Jack’s hands together, his grip firm and sure, and follow him into the room.
- end
Author: wmr / wendymr
Characters: Rose Tyler, Ninth Doctor (Pete's World), Jack Harkness (Pete's World)
Rated: PG
Universe: Through A Glass Darkly
Summary: "He’s probably in the Zero Room. And... well, best just to leave him there."
Written for sahiya as part of Fandom Stocking 2011; I only just realised that I never posted this here, and since it's part of the TAGD-verse I really should. This story takes place seven months after the end of Through A Glass Darkly, and a year after Burned.
Love Suffers Long
“Something wrong with Jack? Haven’t seen him for hours, an’ he was really quiet earlier.” Rose leans across the console, concerned gaze meeting the Doctor’s eyes.
The Doctor doesn’t answer immediately, and she suspects he’s wondering whether he can get away with evasion, or even outright denial. She gets in ahead of him with a worried frown and a hand covering his. “I mean, I know he’s much closer to you than me. He might not even tell me if I’d done something to upset him.”
“Bollocks.” The Doctor’s expression tells her as eloquently as his words what he thinks of her statement. “He’d tell you, and you know it. Been a long time since he avoided anything like that with you.”
“He’s avoiding something.” She drops the subtle cajoling and straightens, now matter-of-fact. “Come on, he never does this kind of disappearing act. I went to look for him and I can’t find him anywhere.”
This time the Doctor sighs. “He’s probably in the Zero Room. And... well, best just to leave him there. He’ll come and find us when he’s ready.”
“The Zero...” Right. She vaguely remembers her other Doctor mentioning that room once, not long after he regenerated. He’d told her that the best thing she could have done for him during his regeneration was to have taken him there. Lot of use telling her that then, she’d pointed out. Would’ve been better if he’d said it at the time. Or, better still, she’d added with barely-veiled sarcasm, if he’d bothered to tell her some time in advance of his regeneration - any time at all, really - that such a thing was possible.
They hadn’t spoken for a couple of hours after that. She’d never found out exactly what the Zero Room was.
“So what’s that?” she asks now. “I mean, I know it has something to do with regeneration, but that doesn’t explain why Jack’d be there.”
“ ‘S not just for during regeneration.” The Doctor fiddles with controls on the console, but he’s not actually doing anything - she knows him well enough to be able to tell. He’s either trying to distract her, or himself. “It’s called the Zero Room because it’s isolated from all impulses and parts of the atmosphere that can be harmful or distracting. It’s... calm, I s’pose you’d say, but not in any way you’d imagine. It can either feel like nothing at all - hence Zero Room - or the TARDIS can simulate any kind of environment she thinks’d be most soothing for the occupant. That’s why it’s good for Jack.”
“Okay.” She nods; the properties of the room itself aren’t difficult to understand. “But why’s Jack there?”
“Because...” The Doctor lets out a slow breath. “It’s a year today since Schattenwelt was destroyed.”
***
She’s waiting outside the door when Jack emerges at last three hours later. She’d thought the Doctor would refuse to show her where to find the Zero Room, and had been ready to try and see if the TARDIS would bring her there. But he’d sighed and muttered something that sounded like “On your own head...” and escorted her here. He didn’t stay.
There’ve been several moments over the last few hours where she’s almost had second thoughts and left; there’s no way that this is anything but a very painful time for Jack, and she’s probably the last person he’ll want to see when he comes out. No matter that he’s come to terms with her humanity, that he doesn’t see her any more as one of the enemy who massacred his people, that they’re lovers; on this day the memories are likely to be far stronger than his feelings for her.
But despite her doubts she’s stayed - because the Doctor would never have brought her here if he’d believed Jack would react badly, and because she loves him too much to be a coward over this. The one thing he needs most right now is support from the people who love him, and if she has to deal with some initial antipathy from him that’s all right.
He’s looking determined as he walks through the door. She’s about to speak, to say his name, when his head turns in her direction and he sees her. “How did you - oh. The Doctor, right?” His voice is rusty from lack of use.
“Nagged him until he gave in,” she explains, taking the blame.”He didn’t want to tell me.”
She still can’t tell if he’s going to run, or even hurl abuse at her. But she moves towards him, all the same.
Jack shakes his head. “He shouldn’t still be-” He breaks off and looks at her, looks hard at her. “You thought it too.” As she frowns questioningly, he continues. “That I’d lose it and forget everything we’ve been to each other for the past seven months.”
“I didn’t think you’d forget.” She’s standing still now, not taking her gaze off him. “Just that other stuff might get in the way.”
He glances away for a moment, and she knows she’s right. But then he’s looking at her again, pain and need and love blazing from his eyes, and she knows that it’s nothing like that simple.
But this is. “Jack.” Arms outstretched, she reaches for him, but doesn’t step closer, doesn’t actually touch him. This has to be his choice.
“Rose.” His voice breaks partway through her name, and he stumbles into her arms. “You’re not them. Never could be. And I would never have made it through the last year without you as well as the Doctor.” He buries his face in her hair, still talking, his words muffled now. “Love you - you and him both. Was actually coming to tell you that.”
“Don’t need to tell us that, lad,” the Doctor says from behind them, and Rose starts. How long’s he been there? And who was he there to protect - her or Jack? “Not that it’s not nice to hear it.”
Jack frees one arm, reaching for the Doctor and bringing him into the embrace. “I’m all right,” he says, sounding more himself now. “Just needed... It’s not really grief any more, you know? More... remembering. Cause I’m the only one who can.”
“You’re not, though.” The words come to Rose’s lips before she’s even realised what she’s saying - but in that instant she knows it’s true. “Cause you can tell us, yeah?”
“Show us, even.” The Doctor turns them in his arms, one long arm looped around each of their shoulders, so that they’re facing the Zero Room door. “We can go back in there and you can show us everything. All the good times, your favourite places, everything you never want to forget.”
Jack hesitates for a moment, and then smiles. “Yeah. I’d like that.”
He steps forward, out of the Doctor’s embrace, and extends a hand to both of them. “Come and see my home with me.”
They take Jack’s hands together, his grip firm and sure, and follow him into the room.
- end