Fic: Quick to Anger (TAGD-verse)
Story: Quick to Anger
Author: wmr / wendymr
Characters: Jack Harkness, Ninth Doctor (both Pete's World)
Series: Through a Glass Darkly-verse
Rated: PG
Summary: "You've got to tell them you won't do it!"
Written for yamx as a 'reward' for guessing my dwsanta fic. No, this isn't a drabble either! With many thanks to the lovely lindenharp for BRing.
Fits into TAGD-verse continuity some time after Faith and Hope, and probably won't make a lot of sense to anyone not familiar with that verse.
Quick to Anger
“I’m telling you for the last time. I can’t!”
The Doctor barely restrains himself from reaching out and shaking Jack. “You have to. It’s dangerous and irresponsible. You’ve got to tell them you won’t do it.”
Jack’s eyes flash. “It’s my job, Doctor. Maybe you don’t care about that, but I do. Being a Time Agent means I follow orders, and those are my orders. I have no choice.”
“There’s always a choice,” the Doctor counters, his voice laced with scorn. “And don’t give me that I’m only following orders crap. That’s no excuse.” He leans against the wall of Jack’s living-room, hands stuffed in his jacket pockets, and stares at Jack. “History’s littered with cowards who preferred to keep their heads down and follow orders rather than say no to something that’s wrong. I expected better of you, Jack.”
“Don’t fucking class me in the same category as genocide collaborators!” Jack shouts, his hands curled into fists. Clearly making an effort to calm himself then, he adds in a more normal voice, “Look, I get that you don’t approve of my mission. But what you obviously don’t get is that I don’t follow your orders. That’s not how it is between us, and if you don’t like that then maybe...”
“Maybe what?” He jumps on Jack’s words as his lover trails off. “If you’re lookin’ for an excuse to end this, just say so.” He folds his arms and glowers.
“No, I’m not!” Jack’s back to shouting. “Why do you always have to be so fucking stubborn? I don’t want to end things, but...” He sighs. “Maybe we need a break from each other for a while. You’re not happy with me, and I’m sure as hell not happy with you.”
“If that’s what you want.” He looks away, lips pressed tightly together. He’s about to stalk into the TARDIS, but then remembers what started this in the first place. Blast the lad. How is it that Jack’s able to distract him so easily, to make this personal rather than the straightforward, businesslike discussion this should be?
But then he’s been furious - with the Time Agency, and with Jack - ever since Jack told him about his new mission, the one he’s due to undertake in an hour’s time. The downright irresponsible and dangerous mission Jack’s superiors seem to believe is a walk in the park.
“Anyway,” he says curtly, swinging around to look Jack straight in the eye. “This mission of yours - you can’t do it. I mean it.”
“And I mean it - I am doing it.” Jack’s tone is equally implacable. “I told you, it’s my job. And, by the way, I resent your assumption that the Time Agency is clueless about what’s involved in changing timelines. They wouldn’t have asked me to do this if it wasn’t safe.”
“Yeah, right,” he scoffs. “Amateurs, the lot of them.”
“Thanks a lot.” Now Jack’s voice is cold, with more than an undercurrent of anger. “Good to know what you really think of me.”
Oh, shit. “I didn’t mean-”
“No? What part of amateurs, the lot of them doesn’t include me? I’ve been a qualified Time Agent for eight years, Doctor. I’ve had my own command for three. And the Time Agency’s been protecting the timelines for Earth for the past seventy years. I know we’re all little more than primitives to the great Time Lord you never stop reminding me you are, and do you have any idea how damn patronising that is?” Jack leans forward and smashes his fist into the table.
What? Does he really make Jack feel that way? “I don’t-”
“Don’t what?” Jack marches towards him, stopping mere inches away, and his furious gaze meets the Doctor’s. “Don’t think I’m an idiot primitive? Don’t think I don’t have a clue what I’m doing next to your great knowledge? Don’t think of my career as playing around with things I don’t understand?”
He wants to deny it all, but the trouble is that Jack’s at least partly right. Humans - even humans from this century - are primitives in terms of knowledge, brain capacity and understanding compared to his people. And the Time Agency... well, some of the time they perform a useful function, but the only reason they haven’t been responsible for a real disaster yet is that he, and before Gallifrey was destroyed the Time Lords, has been keeping an eye on them and making sure that they couldn’t do any real harm.
But to admit all of that could be the end of his relationship with Jack, couldn’t it?
It’s always been tricky between the two of them, no matter how close they’ve become over the years - centuries for him. Jack’s hot-headed anyway, and for a long time slow to trust, afraid of being abandoned yet again. As a teenager, he was used to having adults assume the worst of him. Is it possible that in all these years he’s just been waiting for the Doctor to do the same?
He forces himself to calm, to let go of his temper. Moving away from the TARDIS - why let Jack believe that he might just walk away any second? - he pulls out a chair and sits at the table. “It’s not that simple, Jack.”
Jack sighs, then drops into a chair opposite him. “Then what is it like, Doctor? ‘Cause I’m struggling here.”
He lays his hands flat on the table. “Look, Jack, I’m not gonna pretend my people weren’t far more advanced intellectually and scientifically than humans. An’ if it does feel like I’m bein’ patronising then I’m sorry. I don’t mean to.”
Jack nods once, an acknowledgement. “You do, though. I try not to mind, because I know what you are. But just sometimes...” He exhales, long and frustrated. “I’m proud of what I’ve accomplished, Doctor. I love being a captain in the Agency. I love the work I do - and I love travelling with you and being your lover. But sometimes, like now, you make me feel like a little kid who’s waiting to be told he’s got everything wrong.”
Shame washes through him. He never intended to make Jack feel that way. “I’m sorry. I really am. I’ve always respected you, Jack, an’ if you’ve not seen that then it’s my fault. But this mission-”
Jack holds up his hand, and the tic in his jaw’s twitching. “No. If you’re serious about respecting me, then that means you gotta respect what I do. This is my job. Please don’t put me in a position where I have to battle loyalty to the Agency and loyalty to you.”
Frustrated, the Doctor’s itching to be up and pacing again. But if there’s one thing he’s learning here, it’s that Jack deserves to be treated as an equal, not as the teenager he practically adopted all those years ago. Mind, that’s a lesson he should have learned long since - and thought he had.
“Fair enough,” he says, though he’s not happy about it. “All I can do is ask you to think about it. This mission is wrong, Jack. Please don’t do it.”
Jack sits back, smiling faintly. “You know something, Doctor?”
“What?”
“You’ve been yelling at me - yeah, I know you’re not now, but you were - telling me this mission’s wrong and dangerous and irresponsible, but you haven’t told me why.” He stares at Jack, his jaw slackening, and Jack continues, “Yeah, I know changing timelines is very risky-”
“It can be disastrous!” he interjects. “End of the universe disastrous. The only reason it’s never been that bad is that my people always intervened before things could get that far.”
He can tell by the way Jack’s clearly holding back that he’s skirting the edge of boasting about his superior species yet again - at least, from Jack’s perspective. But what does the bloke want him to say? The trouble is that it’s the truth.
Clearly clinging to patience, Jack says, “Tell me what the problem is with this mission.”
He drums his fingers lightly on the table. “Describe it to me again.”
After a slight hesitation, Jack nods. “I’m to make sure that a cabinet minister doesn’t miss his flight.”
“And why’s that?” the Doctor queries. “Why does he need help?”
“Because,” Jack explains patiently, “he did miss it the first time. That made him late for the peace negotiations on Solova, where he could’ve been instrumental in achieving a settlement.”
“So the Agency wants to redo the talks with Marshall there,” the Doctor says. “And thus ending the war - or so they hope.”
“Yeah. And what’s wrong with that?”
Oh, the naïveté of humans - even those who think they know something about time travel!
“It’s changing history!” he points out.
“Only a tiny change! Damn it, the guy just missed his flight this morning!”
Has he taught Jack nothing? “It’s only this morning in subjective time, Jack. You know that.”
Jack stills. “You know what happens.”
He gives one shake of his head. “Doesn’t matter whether I do or don’t. Can’t go mucking around in someone’s timeline like that. Who knows what could happen?” He rubs a hand impatiently over his scalp. “Don’t they teach you lot anything? Idiots! Why would anyone think it’d be all right to do that?”
“It’s not the kind of thing we’d normally do,” Jack says, and now he sounds sceptical. “I was a bit surprised when my CO gave me the mission. I mean, we normally observe time. Make sure things happen the way they should. We don’t change things. Not unless we know someone else has already made an illegal change first.”
“An’ that’s what happened here?” he asks - but he knows it’s not. Jack would have said so right from the start if it had been.
“Not that anyone’s said to me.” Jack stands and starts to pace, tapping at his wrist computer. He’s frowning again, but this time it seems to be directed at whatever information he’s getting on his device rather than at the Doctor. Good. He’s asking questions.
After a couple of minutes, Jack looks up. “Just been talking to my brigade commandant. It’s not an authorised mission.”
“What’s that mean?”
“My CO was acting independently.” Jack mimes quotes. “Which basically means he decided to interfere for his own reasons. I guess giving me the order gives him plausible deniability - it was the usual secret mission protocol; the message self-erased as soon as I’d confirmed I’d read and understood.”
That’s better, then - at least the Time Agency’s not routinely doing stupid things like changing people’s personal timelines.
But what would have happened if he hadn’t been here? If Jack hadn’t told him about the mission and he’d told Jack all the reasons why he shouldn’t do it? If he hadn’t been here, would Jack have just done it anyway?
No use pointing that out now. He’s risked enough damage to their relationship for one day. But it is something he and Jack will need to talk about some time.
He restrains himself to a simple question. “Orders cancelled, then?”
“Yeah.”
“Good.”
Jack throws himself into the chair again. “Just so you know, Doctor, I’d already contacted the commandant before you arrived, because something didn’t feel right to me and I wanted to be sure. I’ve been waiting for him to get back to me. So, no, I don’t just follow orders blindly.”
What? “What were you arguing with me about it for, then? If you were already suspicious?”
“You didn’t give me a chance.” The look Jack’s giving him is intended to be significant, he knows. And it is. He knows exactly what the lad’s saying. “You just started telling me what to do.”
“Ah.” He did, didn’t he? Instead of letting Jack finish telling his story, he just shouted him down and demanded he refuse the mission.
And so he’s just been given an object lesson in respect, has he? He thinks back over the last half-hour. Yep, he deserved it.
“All right.” He stands, stuffing his hands in his jacket pockets. “You made your point.”
“Yeah?” Jack’s raised eyebrow is challenging him to state exactly what that point is.
“You think I don’t trust you. I don’t respect you.” He leans against the wall. “Thing is, I do. Gave you a TARDIS key when I’d only known you a few days, didn’t I? Don’t do that for someone I don’t trust.”
“I know.” Jack’s walking towards him. “I know you trust me - mostly. Just not always when it comes to stuff you think is your exclusive province. And you know I’m right.” Jack comes closer still, adding, “It’s all right, I’m not gonna insist that you admit it.” His lips twitch. “I forgive you anyway.”
“Forgive me? What for?” He tries to sound scornful, but fails. Jack is right.
“Just try to do better next time, okay?” Jack leans in and kisses him.
“Yeah, all right,” he mumbles, and kisses his Captain back. He will - try, that is. Might even succeed, too.
- end
Author: wmr / wendymr
Characters: Jack Harkness, Ninth Doctor (both Pete's World)
Series: Through a Glass Darkly-verse
Rated: PG
Summary: "You've got to tell them you won't do it!"
Written for yamx as a 'reward' for guessing my dwsanta fic. No, this isn't a drabble either! With many thanks to the lovely lindenharp for BRing.
Fits into TAGD-verse continuity some time after Faith and Hope, and probably won't make a lot of sense to anyone not familiar with that verse.
Quick to Anger
“I’m telling you for the last time. I can’t!”
The Doctor barely restrains himself from reaching out and shaking Jack. “You have to. It’s dangerous and irresponsible. You’ve got to tell them you won’t do it.”
Jack’s eyes flash. “It’s my job, Doctor. Maybe you don’t care about that, but I do. Being a Time Agent means I follow orders, and those are my orders. I have no choice.”
“There’s always a choice,” the Doctor counters, his voice laced with scorn. “And don’t give me that I’m only following orders crap. That’s no excuse.” He leans against the wall of Jack’s living-room, hands stuffed in his jacket pockets, and stares at Jack. “History’s littered with cowards who preferred to keep their heads down and follow orders rather than say no to something that’s wrong. I expected better of you, Jack.”
“Don’t fucking class me in the same category as genocide collaborators!” Jack shouts, his hands curled into fists. Clearly making an effort to calm himself then, he adds in a more normal voice, “Look, I get that you don’t approve of my mission. But what you obviously don’t get is that I don’t follow your orders. That’s not how it is between us, and if you don’t like that then maybe...”
“Maybe what?” He jumps on Jack’s words as his lover trails off. “If you’re lookin’ for an excuse to end this, just say so.” He folds his arms and glowers.
“No, I’m not!” Jack’s back to shouting. “Why do you always have to be so fucking stubborn? I don’t want to end things, but...” He sighs. “Maybe we need a break from each other for a while. You’re not happy with me, and I’m sure as hell not happy with you.”
“If that’s what you want.” He looks away, lips pressed tightly together. He’s about to stalk into the TARDIS, but then remembers what started this in the first place. Blast the lad. How is it that Jack’s able to distract him so easily, to make this personal rather than the straightforward, businesslike discussion this should be?
But then he’s been furious - with the Time Agency, and with Jack - ever since Jack told him about his new mission, the one he’s due to undertake in an hour’s time. The downright irresponsible and dangerous mission Jack’s superiors seem to believe is a walk in the park.
“Anyway,” he says curtly, swinging around to look Jack straight in the eye. “This mission of yours - you can’t do it. I mean it.”
“And I mean it - I am doing it.” Jack’s tone is equally implacable. “I told you, it’s my job. And, by the way, I resent your assumption that the Time Agency is clueless about what’s involved in changing timelines. They wouldn’t have asked me to do this if it wasn’t safe.”
“Yeah, right,” he scoffs. “Amateurs, the lot of them.”
“Thanks a lot.” Now Jack’s voice is cold, with more than an undercurrent of anger. “Good to know what you really think of me.”
Oh, shit. “I didn’t mean-”
“No? What part of amateurs, the lot of them doesn’t include me? I’ve been a qualified Time Agent for eight years, Doctor. I’ve had my own command for three. And the Time Agency’s been protecting the timelines for Earth for the past seventy years. I know we’re all little more than primitives to the great Time Lord you never stop reminding me you are, and do you have any idea how damn patronising that is?” Jack leans forward and smashes his fist into the table.
What? Does he really make Jack feel that way? “I don’t-”
“Don’t what?” Jack marches towards him, stopping mere inches away, and his furious gaze meets the Doctor’s. “Don’t think I’m an idiot primitive? Don’t think I don’t have a clue what I’m doing next to your great knowledge? Don’t think of my career as playing around with things I don’t understand?”
He wants to deny it all, but the trouble is that Jack’s at least partly right. Humans - even humans from this century - are primitives in terms of knowledge, brain capacity and understanding compared to his people. And the Time Agency... well, some of the time they perform a useful function, but the only reason they haven’t been responsible for a real disaster yet is that he, and before Gallifrey was destroyed the Time Lords, has been keeping an eye on them and making sure that they couldn’t do any real harm.
But to admit all of that could be the end of his relationship with Jack, couldn’t it?
It’s always been tricky between the two of them, no matter how close they’ve become over the years - centuries for him. Jack’s hot-headed anyway, and for a long time slow to trust, afraid of being abandoned yet again. As a teenager, he was used to having adults assume the worst of him. Is it possible that in all these years he’s just been waiting for the Doctor to do the same?
He forces himself to calm, to let go of his temper. Moving away from the TARDIS - why let Jack believe that he might just walk away any second? - he pulls out a chair and sits at the table. “It’s not that simple, Jack.”
Jack sighs, then drops into a chair opposite him. “Then what is it like, Doctor? ‘Cause I’m struggling here.”
He lays his hands flat on the table. “Look, Jack, I’m not gonna pretend my people weren’t far more advanced intellectually and scientifically than humans. An’ if it does feel like I’m bein’ patronising then I’m sorry. I don’t mean to.”
Jack nods once, an acknowledgement. “You do, though. I try not to mind, because I know what you are. But just sometimes...” He exhales, long and frustrated. “I’m proud of what I’ve accomplished, Doctor. I love being a captain in the Agency. I love the work I do - and I love travelling with you and being your lover. But sometimes, like now, you make me feel like a little kid who’s waiting to be told he’s got everything wrong.”
Shame washes through him. He never intended to make Jack feel that way. “I’m sorry. I really am. I’ve always respected you, Jack, an’ if you’ve not seen that then it’s my fault. But this mission-”
Jack holds up his hand, and the tic in his jaw’s twitching. “No. If you’re serious about respecting me, then that means you gotta respect what I do. This is my job. Please don’t put me in a position where I have to battle loyalty to the Agency and loyalty to you.”
Frustrated, the Doctor’s itching to be up and pacing again. But if there’s one thing he’s learning here, it’s that Jack deserves to be treated as an equal, not as the teenager he practically adopted all those years ago. Mind, that’s a lesson he should have learned long since - and thought he had.
“Fair enough,” he says, though he’s not happy about it. “All I can do is ask you to think about it. This mission is wrong, Jack. Please don’t do it.”
Jack sits back, smiling faintly. “You know something, Doctor?”
“What?”
“You’ve been yelling at me - yeah, I know you’re not now, but you were - telling me this mission’s wrong and dangerous and irresponsible, but you haven’t told me why.” He stares at Jack, his jaw slackening, and Jack continues, “Yeah, I know changing timelines is very risky-”
“It can be disastrous!” he interjects. “End of the universe disastrous. The only reason it’s never been that bad is that my people always intervened before things could get that far.”
He can tell by the way Jack’s clearly holding back that he’s skirting the edge of boasting about his superior species yet again - at least, from Jack’s perspective. But what does the bloke want him to say? The trouble is that it’s the truth.
Clearly clinging to patience, Jack says, “Tell me what the problem is with this mission.”
He drums his fingers lightly on the table. “Describe it to me again.”
After a slight hesitation, Jack nods. “I’m to make sure that a cabinet minister doesn’t miss his flight.”
“And why’s that?” the Doctor queries. “Why does he need help?”
“Because,” Jack explains patiently, “he did miss it the first time. That made him late for the peace negotiations on Solova, where he could’ve been instrumental in achieving a settlement.”
“So the Agency wants to redo the talks with Marshall there,” the Doctor says. “And thus ending the war - or so they hope.”
“Yeah. And what’s wrong with that?”
Oh, the naïveté of humans - even those who think they know something about time travel!
“It’s changing history!” he points out.
“Only a tiny change! Damn it, the guy just missed his flight this morning!”
Has he taught Jack nothing? “It’s only this morning in subjective time, Jack. You know that.”
Jack stills. “You know what happens.”
He gives one shake of his head. “Doesn’t matter whether I do or don’t. Can’t go mucking around in someone’s timeline like that. Who knows what could happen?” He rubs a hand impatiently over his scalp. “Don’t they teach you lot anything? Idiots! Why would anyone think it’d be all right to do that?”
“It’s not the kind of thing we’d normally do,” Jack says, and now he sounds sceptical. “I was a bit surprised when my CO gave me the mission. I mean, we normally observe time. Make sure things happen the way they should. We don’t change things. Not unless we know someone else has already made an illegal change first.”
“An’ that’s what happened here?” he asks - but he knows it’s not. Jack would have said so right from the start if it had been.
“Not that anyone’s said to me.” Jack stands and starts to pace, tapping at his wrist computer. He’s frowning again, but this time it seems to be directed at whatever information he’s getting on his device rather than at the Doctor. Good. He’s asking questions.
After a couple of minutes, Jack looks up. “Just been talking to my brigade commandant. It’s not an authorised mission.”
“What’s that mean?”
“My CO was acting independently.” Jack mimes quotes. “Which basically means he decided to interfere for his own reasons. I guess giving me the order gives him plausible deniability - it was the usual secret mission protocol; the message self-erased as soon as I’d confirmed I’d read and understood.”
That’s better, then - at least the Time Agency’s not routinely doing stupid things like changing people’s personal timelines.
But what would have happened if he hadn’t been here? If Jack hadn’t told him about the mission and he’d told Jack all the reasons why he shouldn’t do it? If he hadn’t been here, would Jack have just done it anyway?
No use pointing that out now. He’s risked enough damage to their relationship for one day. But it is something he and Jack will need to talk about some time.
He restrains himself to a simple question. “Orders cancelled, then?”
“Yeah.”
“Good.”
Jack throws himself into the chair again. “Just so you know, Doctor, I’d already contacted the commandant before you arrived, because something didn’t feel right to me and I wanted to be sure. I’ve been waiting for him to get back to me. So, no, I don’t just follow orders blindly.”
What? “What were you arguing with me about it for, then? If you were already suspicious?”
“You didn’t give me a chance.” The look Jack’s giving him is intended to be significant, he knows. And it is. He knows exactly what the lad’s saying. “You just started telling me what to do.”
“Ah.” He did, didn’t he? Instead of letting Jack finish telling his story, he just shouted him down and demanded he refuse the mission.
And so he’s just been given an object lesson in respect, has he? He thinks back over the last half-hour. Yep, he deserved it.
“All right.” He stands, stuffing his hands in his jacket pockets. “You made your point.”
“Yeah?” Jack’s raised eyebrow is challenging him to state exactly what that point is.
“You think I don’t trust you. I don’t respect you.” He leans against the wall. “Thing is, I do. Gave you a TARDIS key when I’d only known you a few days, didn’t I? Don’t do that for someone I don’t trust.”
“I know.” Jack’s walking towards him. “I know you trust me - mostly. Just not always when it comes to stuff you think is your exclusive province. And you know I’m right.” Jack comes closer still, adding, “It’s all right, I’m not gonna insist that you admit it.” His lips twitch. “I forgive you anyway.”
“Forgive me? What for?” He tries to sound scornful, but fails. Jack is right.
“Just try to do better next time, okay?” Jack leans in and kisses him.
“Yeah, all right,” he mumbles, and kisses his Captain back. He will - try, that is. Might even succeed, too.
- end