Fic: Innocence Drowned 5/5
Story: Innocence Drowned
Author: wmr / wendymr
Characters: Ninth Doctor, Jack Harkness, Rose Tyler
Rated: PG13
Series: Bigger Inside
Summary: An alien, an immortal and a human - who's the odd one out?
So, yeah, as I said, this story is lindenharp's runner-up fic from the last Support Stacie auction. Yes, the one in March. Final chapter at last!
Many thanks to my wonderful BRs, dark_aegis and yamx.You guys are brilliant!
Chapter 1: The Centre Cannot Hold l Chapter 2: Anarchy is Loosed l Chapter 3: Vexed to Nightmare l Chapter 4: Things Fall Apart
Chapter 5: Revelation
The Doctor looks stricken.
She looks around at the empty hallway and the silence following Jack’s departure, and then back at the Doctor. “He won’t have gone far. You can catch up with him if you run...”
He doesn’t move. Hurt in his voice, he asks, “Why do you want to leave?”
Could he actually be saying he has no idea? Even for the Doctor, that’s... She glances around again. “Aren’t you going after him?”
The Doctor makes a strangled sound. “More worried about you right now! ‘Sides, Jack can’t hide from me.”
“Right, yeah, your telepathy thing.” Damn, she really didn’t mean to let him see how much it bothers her. No way he’ll have missed the scorn in her voice.
Nope, he didn’t miss it. He frowns, tilting his head to one side. “Would find him even without that, the way he is now.”
“What’s going on?”
Rose jumps, startled, as her mum walks into the room. “I heard the front door slam. Couldn’t leave the bacon till now. What’s-” She breaks off, then her voice becomes accusing and she stares at the Doctor. “Why’s Rose crying?”
“I’m trying to find out,” the Doctor retorts. “An’ you being here won’t help.”
“Oi!” Jackie exclaims. “Don’t tell me where I can be in my own home!”
“Mum.” The weight in her chest’s getting heavier. Part of her wants nothing more than to crawl into her mum’s arms and sob out all the pain and heartbreak of the last twelve hours - no, since the Game Station. But she’s been telling herself to grow up, and part of growing up means taking responsibility for her own messes.
Besides, she’s never been a coward. Not even during the Jimmy Stone fiasco. She got herself out of that safely, even if her heart and her bank account got dented in the fallout. Never been a coward, not gonna start now.
“The Doctor’s right. We need to sort this ourselves.”
For a few seconds, it looks as if her mum’s going to argue. But then she huffs and starts to back out. “S’pose you won’t be wanting breakfast, then.”
“Sorry, Jackie,” the Doctor says, walking over towards the door.
Her mum stabs the Doctor in the chest with her index finger. “You just sort this. That’s all that matters.”
He turns to Rose, and the despair in his eyes stabs her heart, even though he hasn’t touched her. “If I can.”
***
In the space of less than five minutes, he’s on the verge of losing both of them.
Oh, it’s not as if he never expected to lose them. Always knew he would some day, and far sooner than he’d be ready for. But whenever he’s thought about losing them it’s always been during battle, in danger, or having them ripped from him by circumstances - though, now, of course, he’s not going to lose Jack through death.
Never here on Earth, in Rose’s time, and by their own choice.
Well, yes, he did once fear that Rose would decide she’d had enough of the danger and of his moods, but she showed him that wasn’t the case, that no matter what he threw at her in an attempt to scare her away it wouldn’t work. You’re stuck with me! she told him once, and it seemed she meant it.
Jackie’s gone. He’ll thank her for that later. Rose is still here, and that’s something else to be thankful for. He hesitates - what if she won’t take it? - then holds out his hand towards her.
After two point eight seven seconds, she takes it.
“Come back to the TARDIS?” He’s begging, and he’s doing it consciously. No pretence, no bribes of plasma storms this time; just his hearts, openly offered to her in all his vulnerability. “We can talk,” he adds, even though the prospect scares him more than facing the Dalek fleet above Satellite Five did. “Sort this.”
She swallows. “What about Jack?”
He nods. “Him too. He’ll come back,” he adds with more confidence than he feels. “I’m gonna ask him now.”
Rose nods, as if she’s giving him permission. So is that it? Is their telepathic contact what’s bothering her?
Not the time to ask. Anyway, Jack needs to be here.
He focuses, finding the Captain easily. He hasn’t gone far. There’s a pub just past the estates, and Jack’s at the bar, knocking back his second single malt.
“Waste of good scotch, that, lad. You’re not even tasting it.”
“Go away.” Jack’s trying to block, but the hurt and despair he’s trying to drown is too easy to read.
“Nope. Need to talk, all three of us. And, yeah, I’d rather face a colony of Cybermen, but it’s got to be done. So, coming?” He lets Jack feel his desperate need for the three of them to sort this, and the hurt he felt when Jack walked out. “Or are you a bigger coward than I am?”
“Rose?” comes the reply, full of uncertainty and nascent hope.
“She’s coming.”
The tentative hope he felt from Jack turns to something close to relief. In his head, he feels Jack stand and shove his glass back across the bar. “Good. Yeah, I’m coming.”
He shuts down the link and nods to Rose. “He’s on his way. All right?”
“All right,” she says and heads for the door.
Jackie appears in the kitchen doorway as they pass, a Tupperware container in her hand which she holds out to him. “Bacon sarnies. Would only go to waste otherwise.”
Yeah, right. Like she doesn’t have a fridge. “Thanks, Jackie.” They both know he doesn’t mean the sandwiches.
All the way down the stairs, and across the concourse, he’s thinking. The telepathy. Him and Jack talking in silence - in secret - and excluding her. Okay when they’re in danger and it gives them the advantage they need to stay alive, to do what needs to be done. But other than that? Not hard to guess what Rose would have thought. And they should have realised that, both him and Jack.
He knows it now. It just better not be too late.
***
He hurt the Doctor. And scared Rose, too, from the brief glimpse he got of the Doctor’s state of mind where she’s concerned. That one’s a bit harder to understand. Rose doesn’t scare easily - anyone who held her ground in front of the Dalek Emperor’s pretty fearless in his book - but that’s how she reacted to him walking out.
And how ironic’s that? He’s about to suggest to the Doctor that the two of them would be better off without him, and Rose comes in to say she should be the one to leave. Well, they can’t both be right. So is there a chance they could both be wrong?
From the Doctor’s reaction, it’s pretty clear that’s the case - at least for the Doctor, whatever about Rose. Well, hasn’t he been an idiot?
He reaches the TARDIS at the same time as his lovers, and raises an eyebrow at the plastic container the Doctor’s carrying. “Bacon sandwiches,” the Doctor explains. “Jackie thought we might need them.”
An unexpected grin curves his lips. “Sounds like we need tea.”
“I’ll make it.” Rose breaks away from the Doctor and heads into the ship’s interior.
Jack raises an eyebrow. “Any idea what’s-”
“Not like that.” The Doctor’s use of speech surprises him less than the large brick wall that slams in front of his thought-probe.
In the kitchen, they sit around the table, none of them speaking, eye contact only fleeting. The silence is, for once, awkward. Rose fidgets and pretends to eat a sandwich. The Doctor drums his fingers and plays with his mug. And Jack’s counting the scratches on the table surface.
The Doctor clears his throat, shattering the silence. “All right, here’s what’s gonna happen. We’re gonna tell each other what’s wrong an’ what we all have to do to put it right, yeah? ‘Cause none of us really wants... this...” He gestures vaguely at the two of them, then back to himself. “...to end. Right?”
He looks uncertain, and uncomfortable. Jack nods. “Right. I definitely don’t.”
They both look to Rose. Twisting her hair in one hand, she shakes her head. “I don’t either.”
“Good.” The Doctor swallows. “I’ll start. Jack, you an’ me’ve been making Rose feel left out.”
He starts, and his eyes widen. “How?” The Doctor taps the side of his head. Realisation dawns. So that’s why the Doctor blocked him before. “Oh.” His gaze flies back to Rose. “God, it never even occurred to me. I’m really sorry, sweetheart.”
“Me too,” the Doctor says, and he reaches a hand across the table towards Rose. The hesitant gesture says everything about how this has rattled the Doctor. “I should’ve known better. I’m sorry.”
Rose lets go of her hair and, slowly, reaches to take the Doctor’s hand. “Knew you didn’t realise,” she says. “You probably don’t even know I knew when you were doing it.”
“I never meant to make you feel left out.” Jack leans across and lays his hand over their two. All this time, he’s been brooding about his own position, and about why Rose was lying to him, and he never even noticed what he was doing to Rose. What they were doing to her. That what was bothering her was his own damn fault. Shit. “I didn’t think. God, I feel stupid. And thoughtless.”
Rose shrugs. “Know you didn’t mean it. That didn’t stop me feeling...” She trails off, but really she doesn’t need to finish.
The Doctor’s head tilts. “That’s not all, yeah? There’s more.”
It’s not a question, and Rose gives him a startled look.
The Doctor continues with total confidence, “You wouldn’t decide to leave just over that. You’d have told us to stop bein’ so bloody rude.”
Her mouth quirks into a crooked smile. “Yeah. Would have.” She shrugs. “I just... ‘s probably stupid, but I felt like you didn’t need me any more.”
“What?” The Doctor sounds as stunned as Jack feels. “How... what...?”
Jack curls his fingers around the two hands beneath his. “You’ve gotta explain this to me slowly, Rose, because I’m lost here.”
She starts to explain, and he listens in growing confusion as she talks about not understanding temporal physics or mechanics and knowing nothing about planets or alien races. He’s not the only one; the Doctor starts to protest, but she doesn’t let him get any further than saying her name.
“Let me finish, yeah? Last night,” she continues. “I just stood around like a potted plant. Jack was up on the ship an’ you two were talking and figuring it all out between you, and even after Jack came back you worked out how to stop the Harko’ons from doing it again. Might as well not have been there.” She shrugs. “And I know I sound like a whingy kid, but it’s how I felt.” Pulling a face, she adds, “I’m more annoyed with myself than you. I should be better than this.”
“What about all the times I’d have been dead if not for you?” the Doctor demands, freeing his hand and sliding his palm along Rose’s cheek. “The Nestene Consciousness? Downing Street during the Slitheen invasion? On Chiron? Satellite Five?” Rose tries to interrupt, but he doesn’t let her. “An’ all the times you ask the right question an’ make me see stuff I completely missed. You’re not useless. ‘S just rubbish, that.”
She leans into the Doctor’s touch for a moment, but then turns to look at Jack. “There’s what I did to you.”
He grips her hand tighter. “Told you back when it happened. Without you, I’d be dead. The rest’s just details.”
“An’ I said I’d find a way to fix it,” the Doctor says. “Meant that. Still do.”
Rose swallows. Jack tugs her towards him. “Hey. Ditto everything he said. And just in case it needs saying... you do know I love you, yeah?”
She makes an inarticulate sound and wraps her arms around him. He hugs her against him. “I’m sorry. I never realised that’s what you were thinking.”
“Me neither.” The Doctor stands and comes over to them, crouching down to look at Rose. “Crap at this sort of thing, me. An’ that’s something else you’re good at.” He takes a deep breath. “I... Right. Yeah. I... love you too,” he says, the words emerging in a rush. “Both of you.” He wraps his arms around the two of them. “Be lost without you, I would. Don’t scare me like that again.”
“Won’t,” Rose promises, and Jack cups the Doctor’s head in his own silent vow.
***
The tea’s gone cold when they finally disentangle, giving each other relieved, sheepish smiles. The Doctor reaches for a bacon sandwich. “Everything all right now, then?” he says, mouth full. Rose smothers a giggle.
“Rose?” Jack questions, seeking confirmation.
She smiles at him. “Yeah. I mean, maybe you’ll have to remind me sometimes, but I’m not thinking stupid stuff any more.”
“Good.” The Doctor’s gaze shifts to Jack, and she can see guilt and regret in his expression. “What about you? Forgiven me for last night?”
Oh, right. Whatever it was the Doctor did that hurt Jack. “What was that all about, anyway?”
Jack shakes his head briefly. “It’s not important. No, really,” he adds as the Doctor starts to speak. “It’s not. Wouldn’t have been a problem past last night, but I knew Rose was upset about something and wasn’t telling us, and that’s what made me go off like an idiot.”
“Not good enough,” she says, looking Jack straight in the eye. “But, okay, you don’t have to tell me now. Just promise you will later - and that you really are all right, yeah?” After all, she didn’t tell them about what was upsetting her, and look what nearly happened.
“Rose, I swear, it’s nothing,” he protests. But the Doctor interrupts.
“It’s not nothing. You were gonna tell me you wanted to leave, right? Before Rose said it?”
She gapes. It was that bad? “You can’t do that!”
“No?” Jack crooks an eyebrow.
“No bloody way! Don’t know what him and me’d do without you. It’d be like...” She pauses, thinking. “Like I’d had a limb cut off.”
“Me too,” the Doctor says, and his gaze shifts from Jack to her and back. “If either of you went.”
“Hey, I’m staying,” Jack points out. “So’s Rose.”
“You’re still gonna tell me what it was all about,” she tells him, shaking Jack a little. “Not letting you away with it, you hear?”
“Okay, okay!” He holds up his hands in the classic surrender gesture. “Fine, yeah, we can talk about it. But I want you both to know that I’m really okay. We’re all still adjusting, right? It’s a lot to adjust to.”
“Yeah.” The Doctor nods, his expression sober. Then he smiles. “But nothin’ we can’t handle.”
“Too right!” Rose says, and Jack smiles his agreement.
“Rose,” Jack says then. “We won’t use telepathy any more unless it’s essential, okay? Doctor, I’m gonna need your help - you know I’m still learning to block.”
She leans against Jack. “You don’t have to stop altogether, you know.”
“No,” the Doctor says unexpectedly. “Telepathy’s got its advantages, y’know.” A wicked grin spreads across his face.
“Sounds interesting,” Jack comments, and he winks.
“Why do I think this is about sex?” she asks.
“Because all the fun stuff is?” Jack retorts.
“I’ll give you that,” she agrees, and allows the two of them to tow her to their bedroom.
It’s good to be back where she belongs. She missed this room, and the two of them, so much last night. They undress her between them, moving so smoothly that she knows they’re talking telepathically again. This time, though, she doesn’t mind. They’re doing it for her, to give her pleasure.
They talk to her, as well, telling her how much she means to them and how much they enjoy being with her, touching her, giving her pleasure, making her cry out.
“Me too,” she says, wanting to tell them how much she loves giving them pleasure too. But the Doctor lays a palm over her mouth.
“Hush now. Gonna show you something.”
She wants to ask what, but he means it: no talking. Then they’re driving her even more crazy with kisses and touches and movements of their bodies against hers, until she’s forgotten that there was even a point to this beyond them being together.
Until the Doctor’s in her and Jack’s in the Doctor, and they’re moving together rhythmically, and the Doctor whispers in her ear, “Ready?”
“For what?” she manages to gasp.
“For this.” Cool fingers brush against her temples, and instantly her mind’s filled - overwhelmed - with sensation: desire and need and sensual pleasure, cascading over and over in time with the passion racing through her own body. “That’s me,” the Doctor murmurs. “An’ Jack. What we’re feeling.”
“And thinking,” Jack whispers from behind the Doctor, and then there’s more. Jack’s love and need for the two of them, his overwhelming joy that he’s found a place where he belongs and people who love him, his fear that he’d lost their love, and relief that the three of them are okay.
And then the Doctor, showing her hints of his grief and loneliness before he met her, how she taught him that life’s still worth living, and found a place in his hearts. How she made the way easier for Jack to claim his place as well, and how the two of them are necessary to his happiness.
In her mind, she hears him say again the words he said to them out in the kitchen. “I love you.” And then, with a wave of sensation that could have been in her mind or her body, she comes. They follow her bare seconds later.
They lie, still entangled, still with the Doctor’s fingers at her temples. “Had companions before,” the Doctor says, his words soft. “Loved them all, too. Lost them all. Never forgot them, though. Never will. But before, my planet was always there to go back to if I wanted. TARDIS is all I have now.” She can feel his loss, but also the realisation that it’s less raw than it was. He’s getting better.
“And us,” Rose reminds him. “We’re your family now, right?”
“Yeah.” His free arm tightens around her.
“Mine too,” Jack says. “Yeah, I know I have my dad, but you two are just as much my family.”
The Doctor kisses them both, and when she’s able Rose says, “Thanks for sharing your telepathy-thing with me. That means a lot.”
“We’re sorry you have to be left out the rest of the time.” Jack hugs her.
“Can’t teach you,” the Doctor says with obvious regret. “But we can do this again if you want.”
She grins. “Now?”
***
Jack strains once more against the chain binding his arms to his torso. No give. Nothing. “Damn,” he mutters.
“Could’ve told you you were wastin’ your time,” the Doctor, chained to the wall on the other side of the small, damp cell, points out.
“And who got us into this?” he retorts silently.
“You’re not blaming me!”
“No? Who was it told the General he needed a shave?”
“He was trippin’ over his beard!” The Doctor’s indignation is so loud Jack would cover his ears if his hands were free. Then again, if his hands were free they wouldn’t still be prisoners.
“What’d they say again?” he asks aloud. “Trial in the morning and then what?”
The Doctor mutters something he can’t hear - and when he tries to probe he’s blocked. “What was that?” he asks.
The Doctor huffs. “Ritual shaving. All over. With wax strips.”
Jack winces. It’s not as if he hasn’t depilated in his time, but he’s all for the painless way of going about it.
“Think they’ll accept an apology?” he asks, without much hope of a positive answer.
“Not-” The Doctor breaks off suddenly, cocking his head to one side.
“What’s up?” Jack switches mode.
“Listen. Can you hear that?” The Doctor’s gaze focuses on the door. And, yes, he can hear something. A faint scraping, a couple of clicks - and then one loud click and a creak. The door’s opening.
In the opening, Rose appears, the Doctor’s spare sonic screwdriver in her hand. “What did you two do this time?”
“Hey! I had nothing to do with it!” Jack protests.
“Time and a place,” the Doctor complains.
Rose shakes her head. “Men.” She walks to the Doctor, who’s nearest, and sonics the padlock on his chains, catching them before they clatter to the floor. While the Doctor’s still massaging his cramped muscles, she frees Jack too.
“Hope you’re able to run,” she tells them, dumping the chains on the floor. “I reckon we’ve got about ten minutes.”
“Why ten?” Jack asks, flexing his calves.
“ ‘Cause that’s how long it’s gonna take Glina to finish her routine,” Rose says with a grin. “Come on.”
Glina, Rose explains once they’ve run - or rather, limped - the couple of hundred yards to reach a safe enough distance from the army jail to catch their breath, is an exotic dancer whom Rose bribed to entertain the soldiers. “She was happy to do it,” Rose says. “Says they tip well, an’ it’d be worth it to see their faces later when they realise you two are gone.”
“Wouldn’t mind seeing that myself,” Jack says with a grin.
The Doctor shoves at his shoulder. “Idiot.”
“Not the idiot who told the General he needed a shave.”
“Yeah, but you are the idiot standin’ around here instead of getting back to the TARDIS,” Rose points out, gesturing towards the jail. Right. Yeah, any minute now...
They run.
- end
Author: wmr / wendymr
Characters: Ninth Doctor, Jack Harkness, Rose Tyler
Rated: PG13
Series: Bigger Inside
Summary: An alien, an immortal and a human - who's the odd one out?
So, yeah, as I said, this story is lindenharp's runner-up fic from the last Support Stacie auction. Yes, the one in March. Final chapter at last!
Many thanks to my wonderful BRs, dark_aegis and yamx.You guys are brilliant!
Chapter 1: The Centre Cannot Hold l Chapter 2: Anarchy is Loosed l Chapter 3: Vexed to Nightmare l Chapter 4: Things Fall Apart
Chapter 5: Revelation
The Doctor looks stricken.
She looks around at the empty hallway and the silence following Jack’s departure, and then back at the Doctor. “He won’t have gone far. You can catch up with him if you run...”
He doesn’t move. Hurt in his voice, he asks, “Why do you want to leave?”
Could he actually be saying he has no idea? Even for the Doctor, that’s... She glances around again. “Aren’t you going after him?”
The Doctor makes a strangled sound. “More worried about you right now! ‘Sides, Jack can’t hide from me.”
“Right, yeah, your telepathy thing.” Damn, she really didn’t mean to let him see how much it bothers her. No way he’ll have missed the scorn in her voice.
Nope, he didn’t miss it. He frowns, tilting his head to one side. “Would find him even without that, the way he is now.”
“What’s going on?”
Rose jumps, startled, as her mum walks into the room. “I heard the front door slam. Couldn’t leave the bacon till now. What’s-” She breaks off, then her voice becomes accusing and she stares at the Doctor. “Why’s Rose crying?”
“I’m trying to find out,” the Doctor retorts. “An’ you being here won’t help.”
“Oi!” Jackie exclaims. “Don’t tell me where I can be in my own home!”
“Mum.” The weight in her chest’s getting heavier. Part of her wants nothing more than to crawl into her mum’s arms and sob out all the pain and heartbreak of the last twelve hours - no, since the Game Station. But she’s been telling herself to grow up, and part of growing up means taking responsibility for her own messes.
Besides, she’s never been a coward. Not even during the Jimmy Stone fiasco. She got herself out of that safely, even if her heart and her bank account got dented in the fallout. Never been a coward, not gonna start now.
“The Doctor’s right. We need to sort this ourselves.”
For a few seconds, it looks as if her mum’s going to argue. But then she huffs and starts to back out. “S’pose you won’t be wanting breakfast, then.”
“Sorry, Jackie,” the Doctor says, walking over towards the door.
Her mum stabs the Doctor in the chest with her index finger. “You just sort this. That’s all that matters.”
He turns to Rose, and the despair in his eyes stabs her heart, even though he hasn’t touched her. “If I can.”
***
In the space of less than five minutes, he’s on the verge of losing both of them.
Oh, it’s not as if he never expected to lose them. Always knew he would some day, and far sooner than he’d be ready for. But whenever he’s thought about losing them it’s always been during battle, in danger, or having them ripped from him by circumstances - though, now, of course, he’s not going to lose Jack through death.
Never here on Earth, in Rose’s time, and by their own choice.
Well, yes, he did once fear that Rose would decide she’d had enough of the danger and of his moods, but she showed him that wasn’t the case, that no matter what he threw at her in an attempt to scare her away it wouldn’t work. You’re stuck with me! she told him once, and it seemed she meant it.
Jackie’s gone. He’ll thank her for that later. Rose is still here, and that’s something else to be thankful for. He hesitates - what if she won’t take it? - then holds out his hand towards her.
After two point eight seven seconds, she takes it.
“Come back to the TARDIS?” He’s begging, and he’s doing it consciously. No pretence, no bribes of plasma storms this time; just his hearts, openly offered to her in all his vulnerability. “We can talk,” he adds, even though the prospect scares him more than facing the Dalek fleet above Satellite Five did. “Sort this.”
She swallows. “What about Jack?”
He nods. “Him too. He’ll come back,” he adds with more confidence than he feels. “I’m gonna ask him now.”
Rose nods, as if she’s giving him permission. So is that it? Is their telepathic contact what’s bothering her?
Not the time to ask. Anyway, Jack needs to be here.
He focuses, finding the Captain easily. He hasn’t gone far. There’s a pub just past the estates, and Jack’s at the bar, knocking back his second single malt.
“Waste of good scotch, that, lad. You’re not even tasting it.”
“Go away.” Jack’s trying to block, but the hurt and despair he’s trying to drown is too easy to read.
“Nope. Need to talk, all three of us. And, yeah, I’d rather face a colony of Cybermen, but it’s got to be done. So, coming?” He lets Jack feel his desperate need for the three of them to sort this, and the hurt he felt when Jack walked out. “Or are you a bigger coward than I am?”
“Rose?” comes the reply, full of uncertainty and nascent hope.
“She’s coming.”
The tentative hope he felt from Jack turns to something close to relief. In his head, he feels Jack stand and shove his glass back across the bar. “Good. Yeah, I’m coming.”
He shuts down the link and nods to Rose. “He’s on his way. All right?”
“All right,” she says and heads for the door.
Jackie appears in the kitchen doorway as they pass, a Tupperware container in her hand which she holds out to him. “Bacon sarnies. Would only go to waste otherwise.”
Yeah, right. Like she doesn’t have a fridge. “Thanks, Jackie.” They both know he doesn’t mean the sandwiches.
All the way down the stairs, and across the concourse, he’s thinking. The telepathy. Him and Jack talking in silence - in secret - and excluding her. Okay when they’re in danger and it gives them the advantage they need to stay alive, to do what needs to be done. But other than that? Not hard to guess what Rose would have thought. And they should have realised that, both him and Jack.
He knows it now. It just better not be too late.
***
He hurt the Doctor. And scared Rose, too, from the brief glimpse he got of the Doctor’s state of mind where she’s concerned. That one’s a bit harder to understand. Rose doesn’t scare easily - anyone who held her ground in front of the Dalek Emperor’s pretty fearless in his book - but that’s how she reacted to him walking out.
And how ironic’s that? He’s about to suggest to the Doctor that the two of them would be better off without him, and Rose comes in to say she should be the one to leave. Well, they can’t both be right. So is there a chance they could both be wrong?
From the Doctor’s reaction, it’s pretty clear that’s the case - at least for the Doctor, whatever about Rose. Well, hasn’t he been an idiot?
He reaches the TARDIS at the same time as his lovers, and raises an eyebrow at the plastic container the Doctor’s carrying. “Bacon sandwiches,” the Doctor explains. “Jackie thought we might need them.”
An unexpected grin curves his lips. “Sounds like we need tea.”
“I’ll make it.” Rose breaks away from the Doctor and heads into the ship’s interior.
Jack raises an eyebrow. “Any idea what’s-”
“Not like that.” The Doctor’s use of speech surprises him less than the large brick wall that slams in front of his thought-probe.
In the kitchen, they sit around the table, none of them speaking, eye contact only fleeting. The silence is, for once, awkward. Rose fidgets and pretends to eat a sandwich. The Doctor drums his fingers and plays with his mug. And Jack’s counting the scratches on the table surface.
The Doctor clears his throat, shattering the silence. “All right, here’s what’s gonna happen. We’re gonna tell each other what’s wrong an’ what we all have to do to put it right, yeah? ‘Cause none of us really wants... this...” He gestures vaguely at the two of them, then back to himself. “...to end. Right?”
He looks uncertain, and uncomfortable. Jack nods. “Right. I definitely don’t.”
They both look to Rose. Twisting her hair in one hand, she shakes her head. “I don’t either.”
“Good.” The Doctor swallows. “I’ll start. Jack, you an’ me’ve been making Rose feel left out.”
He starts, and his eyes widen. “How?” The Doctor taps the side of his head. Realisation dawns. So that’s why the Doctor blocked him before. “Oh.” His gaze flies back to Rose. “God, it never even occurred to me. I’m really sorry, sweetheart.”
“Me too,” the Doctor says, and he reaches a hand across the table towards Rose. The hesitant gesture says everything about how this has rattled the Doctor. “I should’ve known better. I’m sorry.”
Rose lets go of her hair and, slowly, reaches to take the Doctor’s hand. “Knew you didn’t realise,” she says. “You probably don’t even know I knew when you were doing it.”
“I never meant to make you feel left out.” Jack leans across and lays his hand over their two. All this time, he’s been brooding about his own position, and about why Rose was lying to him, and he never even noticed what he was doing to Rose. What they were doing to her. That what was bothering her was his own damn fault. Shit. “I didn’t think. God, I feel stupid. And thoughtless.”
Rose shrugs. “Know you didn’t mean it. That didn’t stop me feeling...” She trails off, but really she doesn’t need to finish.
The Doctor’s head tilts. “That’s not all, yeah? There’s more.”
It’s not a question, and Rose gives him a startled look.
The Doctor continues with total confidence, “You wouldn’t decide to leave just over that. You’d have told us to stop bein’ so bloody rude.”
Her mouth quirks into a crooked smile. “Yeah. Would have.” She shrugs. “I just... ‘s probably stupid, but I felt like you didn’t need me any more.”
“What?” The Doctor sounds as stunned as Jack feels. “How... what...?”
Jack curls his fingers around the two hands beneath his. “You’ve gotta explain this to me slowly, Rose, because I’m lost here.”
She starts to explain, and he listens in growing confusion as she talks about not understanding temporal physics or mechanics and knowing nothing about planets or alien races. He’s not the only one; the Doctor starts to protest, but she doesn’t let him get any further than saying her name.
“Let me finish, yeah? Last night,” she continues. “I just stood around like a potted plant. Jack was up on the ship an’ you two were talking and figuring it all out between you, and even after Jack came back you worked out how to stop the Harko’ons from doing it again. Might as well not have been there.” She shrugs. “And I know I sound like a whingy kid, but it’s how I felt.” Pulling a face, she adds, “I’m more annoyed with myself than you. I should be better than this.”
“What about all the times I’d have been dead if not for you?” the Doctor demands, freeing his hand and sliding his palm along Rose’s cheek. “The Nestene Consciousness? Downing Street during the Slitheen invasion? On Chiron? Satellite Five?” Rose tries to interrupt, but he doesn’t let her. “An’ all the times you ask the right question an’ make me see stuff I completely missed. You’re not useless. ‘S just rubbish, that.”
She leans into the Doctor’s touch for a moment, but then turns to look at Jack. “There’s what I did to you.”
He grips her hand tighter. “Told you back when it happened. Without you, I’d be dead. The rest’s just details.”
“An’ I said I’d find a way to fix it,” the Doctor says. “Meant that. Still do.”
Rose swallows. Jack tugs her towards him. “Hey. Ditto everything he said. And just in case it needs saying... you do know I love you, yeah?”
She makes an inarticulate sound and wraps her arms around him. He hugs her against him. “I’m sorry. I never realised that’s what you were thinking.”
“Me neither.” The Doctor stands and comes over to them, crouching down to look at Rose. “Crap at this sort of thing, me. An’ that’s something else you’re good at.” He takes a deep breath. “I... Right. Yeah. I... love you too,” he says, the words emerging in a rush. “Both of you.” He wraps his arms around the two of them. “Be lost without you, I would. Don’t scare me like that again.”
“Won’t,” Rose promises, and Jack cups the Doctor’s head in his own silent vow.
***
The tea’s gone cold when they finally disentangle, giving each other relieved, sheepish smiles. The Doctor reaches for a bacon sandwich. “Everything all right now, then?” he says, mouth full. Rose smothers a giggle.
“Rose?” Jack questions, seeking confirmation.
She smiles at him. “Yeah. I mean, maybe you’ll have to remind me sometimes, but I’m not thinking stupid stuff any more.”
“Good.” The Doctor’s gaze shifts to Jack, and she can see guilt and regret in his expression. “What about you? Forgiven me for last night?”
Oh, right. Whatever it was the Doctor did that hurt Jack. “What was that all about, anyway?”
Jack shakes his head briefly. “It’s not important. No, really,” he adds as the Doctor starts to speak. “It’s not. Wouldn’t have been a problem past last night, but I knew Rose was upset about something and wasn’t telling us, and that’s what made me go off like an idiot.”
“Not good enough,” she says, looking Jack straight in the eye. “But, okay, you don’t have to tell me now. Just promise you will later - and that you really are all right, yeah?” After all, she didn’t tell them about what was upsetting her, and look what nearly happened.
“Rose, I swear, it’s nothing,” he protests. But the Doctor interrupts.
“It’s not nothing. You were gonna tell me you wanted to leave, right? Before Rose said it?”
She gapes. It was that bad? “You can’t do that!”
“No?” Jack crooks an eyebrow.
“No bloody way! Don’t know what him and me’d do without you. It’d be like...” She pauses, thinking. “Like I’d had a limb cut off.”
“Me too,” the Doctor says, and his gaze shifts from Jack to her and back. “If either of you went.”
“Hey, I’m staying,” Jack points out. “So’s Rose.”
“You’re still gonna tell me what it was all about,” she tells him, shaking Jack a little. “Not letting you away with it, you hear?”
“Okay, okay!” He holds up his hands in the classic surrender gesture. “Fine, yeah, we can talk about it. But I want you both to know that I’m really okay. We’re all still adjusting, right? It’s a lot to adjust to.”
“Yeah.” The Doctor nods, his expression sober. Then he smiles. “But nothin’ we can’t handle.”
“Too right!” Rose says, and Jack smiles his agreement.
“Rose,” Jack says then. “We won’t use telepathy any more unless it’s essential, okay? Doctor, I’m gonna need your help - you know I’m still learning to block.”
She leans against Jack. “You don’t have to stop altogether, you know.”
“No,” the Doctor says unexpectedly. “Telepathy’s got its advantages, y’know.” A wicked grin spreads across his face.
“Sounds interesting,” Jack comments, and he winks.
“Why do I think this is about sex?” she asks.
“Because all the fun stuff is?” Jack retorts.
“I’ll give you that,” she agrees, and allows the two of them to tow her to their bedroom.
It’s good to be back where she belongs. She missed this room, and the two of them, so much last night. They undress her between them, moving so smoothly that she knows they’re talking telepathically again. This time, though, she doesn’t mind. They’re doing it for her, to give her pleasure.
They talk to her, as well, telling her how much she means to them and how much they enjoy being with her, touching her, giving her pleasure, making her cry out.
“Me too,” she says, wanting to tell them how much she loves giving them pleasure too. But the Doctor lays a palm over her mouth.
“Hush now. Gonna show you something.”
She wants to ask what, but he means it: no talking. Then they’re driving her even more crazy with kisses and touches and movements of their bodies against hers, until she’s forgotten that there was even a point to this beyond them being together.
Until the Doctor’s in her and Jack’s in the Doctor, and they’re moving together rhythmically, and the Doctor whispers in her ear, “Ready?”
“For what?” she manages to gasp.
“For this.” Cool fingers brush against her temples, and instantly her mind’s filled - overwhelmed - with sensation: desire and need and sensual pleasure, cascading over and over in time with the passion racing through her own body. “That’s me,” the Doctor murmurs. “An’ Jack. What we’re feeling.”
“And thinking,” Jack whispers from behind the Doctor, and then there’s more. Jack’s love and need for the two of them, his overwhelming joy that he’s found a place where he belongs and people who love him, his fear that he’d lost their love, and relief that the three of them are okay.
And then the Doctor, showing her hints of his grief and loneliness before he met her, how she taught him that life’s still worth living, and found a place in his hearts. How she made the way easier for Jack to claim his place as well, and how the two of them are necessary to his happiness.
In her mind, she hears him say again the words he said to them out in the kitchen. “I love you.” And then, with a wave of sensation that could have been in her mind or her body, she comes. They follow her bare seconds later.
They lie, still entangled, still with the Doctor’s fingers at her temples. “Had companions before,” the Doctor says, his words soft. “Loved them all, too. Lost them all. Never forgot them, though. Never will. But before, my planet was always there to go back to if I wanted. TARDIS is all I have now.” She can feel his loss, but also the realisation that it’s less raw than it was. He’s getting better.
“And us,” Rose reminds him. “We’re your family now, right?”
“Yeah.” His free arm tightens around her.
“Mine too,” Jack says. “Yeah, I know I have my dad, but you two are just as much my family.”
The Doctor kisses them both, and when she’s able Rose says, “Thanks for sharing your telepathy-thing with me. That means a lot.”
“We’re sorry you have to be left out the rest of the time.” Jack hugs her.
“Can’t teach you,” the Doctor says with obvious regret. “But we can do this again if you want.”
She grins. “Now?”
***
Jack strains once more against the chain binding his arms to his torso. No give. Nothing. “Damn,” he mutters.
“Could’ve told you you were wastin’ your time,” the Doctor, chained to the wall on the other side of the small, damp cell, points out.
“And who got us into this?” he retorts silently.
“You’re not blaming me!”
“No? Who was it told the General he needed a shave?”
“He was trippin’ over his beard!” The Doctor’s indignation is so loud Jack would cover his ears if his hands were free. Then again, if his hands were free they wouldn’t still be prisoners.
“What’d they say again?” he asks aloud. “Trial in the morning and then what?”
The Doctor mutters something he can’t hear - and when he tries to probe he’s blocked. “What was that?” he asks.
The Doctor huffs. “Ritual shaving. All over. With wax strips.”
Jack winces. It’s not as if he hasn’t depilated in his time, but he’s all for the painless way of going about it.
“Think they’ll accept an apology?” he asks, without much hope of a positive answer.
“Not-” The Doctor breaks off suddenly, cocking his head to one side.
“What’s up?” Jack switches mode.
“Listen. Can you hear that?” The Doctor’s gaze focuses on the door. And, yes, he can hear something. A faint scraping, a couple of clicks - and then one loud click and a creak. The door’s opening.
In the opening, Rose appears, the Doctor’s spare sonic screwdriver in her hand. “What did you two do this time?”
“Hey! I had nothing to do with it!” Jack protests.
“Time and a place,” the Doctor complains.
Rose shakes her head. “Men.” She walks to the Doctor, who’s nearest, and sonics the padlock on his chains, catching them before they clatter to the floor. While the Doctor’s still massaging his cramped muscles, she frees Jack too.
“Hope you’re able to run,” she tells them, dumping the chains on the floor. “I reckon we’ve got about ten minutes.”
“Why ten?” Jack asks, flexing his calves.
“ ‘Cause that’s how long it’s gonna take Glina to finish her routine,” Rose says with a grin. “Come on.”
Glina, Rose explains once they’ve run - or rather, limped - the couple of hundred yards to reach a safe enough distance from the army jail to catch their breath, is an exotic dancer whom Rose bribed to entertain the soldiers. “She was happy to do it,” Rose says. “Says they tip well, an’ it’d be worth it to see their faces later when they realise you two are gone.”
“Wouldn’t mind seeing that myself,” Jack says with a grin.
The Doctor shoves at his shoulder. “Idiot.”
“Not the idiot who told the General he needed a shave.”
“Yeah, but you are the idiot standin’ around here instead of getting back to the TARDIS,” Rose points out, gesturing towards the jail. Right. Yeah, any minute now...
They run.
- end