good golly, miss molly, or, why i think i love little richard
as someone who lives without cable, i've become dependent on the static-y, grainy, black-and-white-and-sometimes-in-color-if-i-stand-in-the-right-spot local channels. i usually receive the fox channel without much effort, and have unintentionally become sucked into the world of their latest singing sensation show-- celebrity duets.
overlooking how much i really, really hate the host (wayne brady), and am annoyed by the obvious american idol judge demographics (which are so obvious i feel stupid pointing them out*), i have become sucked into this show because hal sparks thinks he can sing, but also because... well... i think i love little richard.
(*marie osmond=paula abdul/overly positive white songstress of yore, little richard=randy jackson/black guy, david foster=simon cowell/random white guy producer)
at any rate, i'm watching the season finale right this very moment. the three finalists are hal sparks (tool), lucy lawless (blonde!) and alfonso ribeiro (normal). my money is on alfonso.
mostly because he said he'd do the carlton dance if he won.
and because he can, in fact, sing.
(oh man, remember when lea thompson was still on... and jai rodriquez?? i guess being an expert on culture can't help you SING, asswipe! hell, just LOOK at the cast!!)
but i digress. because really, what this show has made me realize is how much i love little richard. it's almost at prince proportions.
and without further ado, i give you...
THE TOP FIVE REASONS WHY I THINK I LOVE LITTLE RICHARD:
5) that vacant, broken, beat-down look in his eye.
'google images' won't provide results that come close to what you can see when you watch him judging. i mean, it even comes across through my reception, for chrissakes. this is a man who knows what he's doing. this is a man who knows just how amazingly stupid this truly is. this is a man after my own piano playin', pelvis shakin' heart.
4) the mullet.
not since, oh i don't know, rick james, have i loved a black man's hair like i do little richard's. from the pompadour to the 'fro... it's a winner. it also just adds to the dichotomy of the Great L.R.: if he is gay, he wouldn't have a mullet right? but, he wears lipstick! and eyeliner! but so does franz ferdinand... kind of. god, little richard, you're so complex!!
3) the skin.
and not since paolino ruffini, have i seen such luminous skin. makes my heart melt. and also makes me wish i washed my face more.
2) the comments.
as someone known to quote prince, i was ecstatic to hear little richard say "don't make me scream like a white lady." whether he knew it or not, he won my little white lady heart. some other gems include: "don't write checks your rhythm can't cash", "you made my big toe shoot up in my boot", and my all-time favorite and most-oft-repeated comment from his past, present (and i'd imagine future) "shut up!" *swoon*
and the number one reason why i think i love little richard.
1) "wwwwwwwoooooooooooooooooo!!!"
you know what i'm talking about.
sigh.
they just did a little richard judging montage. be-a-utiful.
and oh shit!! boyz II men is doing a surprise performance!!! i guess the bass singer dude is gone... and i'm overlooking the facts that they all got fat and that wayne brady is singing WITH them... i hate that guy.
anyway.
i think i love little richard. he's tutti frutti-ed all over my heart.
(btw: alfonso totally won. and totally did NOT do the carlton dance. mad props.)
overlooking how much i really, really hate the host (wayne brady), and am annoyed by the obvious american idol judge demographics (which are so obvious i feel stupid pointing them out*), i have become sucked into this show because hal sparks thinks he can sing, but also because... well... i think i love little richard.
(*marie osmond=paula abdul/overly positive white songstress of yore, little richard=randy jackson/black guy, david foster=simon cowell/random white guy producer)
at any rate, i'm watching the season finale right this very moment. the three finalists are hal sparks (tool), lucy lawless (blonde!) and alfonso ribeiro (normal). my money is on alfonso.
mostly because he said he'd do the carlton dance if he won.
and because he can, in fact, sing.
(oh man, remember when lea thompson was still on... and jai rodriquez?? i guess being an expert on culture can't help you SING, asswipe! hell, just LOOK at the cast!!)
but i digress. because really, what this show has made me realize is how much i love little richard. it's almost at prince proportions.
and without further ado, i give you...
THE TOP FIVE REASONS WHY I THINK I LOVE LITTLE RICHARD:
5) that vacant, broken, beat-down look in his eye.
'google images' won't provide results that come close to what you can see when you watch him judging. i mean, it even comes across through my reception, for chrissakes. this is a man who knows what he's doing. this is a man who knows just how amazingly stupid this truly is. this is a man after my own piano playin', pelvis shakin' heart.
4) the mullet.
not since, oh i don't know, rick james, have i loved a black man's hair like i do little richard's. from the pompadour to the 'fro... it's a winner. it also just adds to the dichotomy of the Great L.R.: if he is gay, he wouldn't have a mullet right? but, he wears lipstick! and eyeliner! but so does franz ferdinand... kind of. god, little richard, you're so complex!!
3) the skin.
and not since paolino ruffini, have i seen such luminous skin. makes my heart melt. and also makes me wish i washed my face more.
2) the comments.
as someone known to quote prince, i was ecstatic to hear little richard say "don't make me scream like a white lady." whether he knew it or not, he won my little white lady heart. some other gems include: "don't write checks your rhythm can't cash", "you made my big toe shoot up in my boot", and my all-time favorite and most-oft-repeated comment from his past, present (and i'd imagine future) "shut up!" *swoon*
and the number one reason why i think i love little richard.
1) "wwwwwwwoooooooooooooooooo!!!"
you know what i'm talking about.
sigh.
they just did a little richard judging montage. be-a-utiful.
and oh shit!! boyz II men is doing a surprise performance!!! i guess the bass singer dude is gone... and i'm overlooking the facts that they all got fat and that wayne brady is singing WITH them... i hate that guy.
anyway.
i think i love little richard. he's tutti frutti-ed all over my heart.
(btw: alfonso totally won. and totally did NOT do the carlton dance. mad props.)