Feb 05, 2006 16:26
i used to think forever was something people said and meant, but now i think i think about definitions too much.
i am head over heels in love with rabbit fur coat and want to listen to it over and over but i refuse to because i want to. i'm on this big kick of self denial, wherein as soon as i want something or i feel inclined to say something, i stop, i shut up i dont do it. jeremiah says i'm learning to crucify my flesh and that its a good thing, and i have to say that my life is a lot more peaceful and i am more disciplined now then ever before. i hear people say follow your heart and do what your mind leads you to do, but now i realize thats all garbage, silly philosophical noise used to drown out your conscience. if i justify myself enough with words that are more meaningless than my life, perhaps i wont feel like my life is going down the tubes and its all my fault. well, hate to be a bubble burster, but it is going down the tubes and it is your fault.
what makes you think that just because you say something pretty, everything you do is ok?