Happy Birthday, Tori!
Thirteen years ago, give or take 15 minutes, I became something I never thought I'd be: a mom.
It was a huge surprise when I discovered I was pregnant; I thought I had food poisoning, then the flu, then.......my mom made me buy an EPT test. I was so shocked when it turned into a pink positive sign- I truly didn't consider that I could be pregnant. When I found out I was, I wasn't sure what to think. Eric and I had always sort of joked about kids being for other people- we were the cool aunt/uncle, happy in that role, and I guess I thought he didn't want kids. I was so nervous about telling him. He came home from work, and I sat him down with a beer and a Valium 10- I'm sure he thought I was going to tell him I was leaving, someone had died or I was terminally ill. When I told him, he started laughing, which caught me off guard. After I slugged him a few times in the shoulder and told him in no uncertain terms that this was NOT a laughing matter, he managed to choke out that just that day a co-worker had told him of a prophetic dream she'd had the night before that involved us having a kid.
He seemed happy about it. His mom later told me that he actually giggled when he told her- and Eric does not generally giggle about anything. I knew then that we were in trouble- don't you think a couple should discuss such important things as children, etc, prior to committing? What if we'd gone on like that, both of us thinking the other didn't want to procreate, simply because of a really serious inability to communicate? We still don't communicate well at all, but we do have a beautiful, smart, funny and entirely unique child, and our lives are all the better for it.
A few hours after she was born they brought her in to me. (She had some problems at first that required neonatal intensive care and some very long moments of terror on our part, but she was fine after a bit). It was just her and me; I was totally exhausted after not sleeping for three days and all the ensuing drama of childbirth, and she was pretty much just sort of bewildered. She lay there, all tightly swaddled, just blinking at me and trying to focus, and I was overwhelmed with a sense of protectiveness and responsibility. It's never left me, although I actively try to sublimate these days in the interest of letting her grow into the world. I remember when she was small, joking about when she would be a teen and cease being so sweet and loving. Well, she's finally there, and I have to say that while I'm a little sad she's grown so fast, I'm awfully proud of who she has become, and looking forward to knowing the woman I know she can be.
Happy birthday, Little Bear.
It was a huge surprise when I discovered I was pregnant; I thought I had food poisoning, then the flu, then.......my mom made me buy an EPT test. I was so shocked when it turned into a pink positive sign- I truly didn't consider that I could be pregnant. When I found out I was, I wasn't sure what to think. Eric and I had always sort of joked about kids being for other people- we were the cool aunt/uncle, happy in that role, and I guess I thought he didn't want kids. I was so nervous about telling him. He came home from work, and I sat him down with a beer and a Valium 10- I'm sure he thought I was going to tell him I was leaving, someone had died or I was terminally ill. When I told him, he started laughing, which caught me off guard. After I slugged him a few times in the shoulder and told him in no uncertain terms that this was NOT a laughing matter, he managed to choke out that just that day a co-worker had told him of a prophetic dream she'd had the night before that involved us having a kid.
He seemed happy about it. His mom later told me that he actually giggled when he told her- and Eric does not generally giggle about anything. I knew then that we were in trouble- don't you think a couple should discuss such important things as children, etc, prior to committing? What if we'd gone on like that, both of us thinking the other didn't want to procreate, simply because of a really serious inability to communicate? We still don't communicate well at all, but we do have a beautiful, smart, funny and entirely unique child, and our lives are all the better for it.
A few hours after she was born they brought her in to me. (She had some problems at first that required neonatal intensive care and some very long moments of terror on our part, but she was fine after a bit). It was just her and me; I was totally exhausted after not sleeping for three days and all the ensuing drama of childbirth, and she was pretty much just sort of bewildered. She lay there, all tightly swaddled, just blinking at me and trying to focus, and I was overwhelmed with a sense of protectiveness and responsibility. It's never left me, although I actively try to sublimate these days in the interest of letting her grow into the world. I remember when she was small, joking about when she would be a teen and cease being so sweet and loving. Well, she's finally there, and I have to say that while I'm a little sad she's grown so fast, I'm awfully proud of who she has become, and looking forward to knowing the woman I know she can be.
Happy birthday, Little Bear.