Renewed Faith in Myself NEWLY EDITED!!! REad it again for the first time.
Last night, I watched New Moon with the wife.
All I can say now is "Yes I can!" I write MUCH better stories than this.
These are terrible stories. As Jess put it, "they set the women's movement back at least 50 years." And she doesn't even follow LiveJournal, that was just the first thing that came out of her mouth. God how I love that woman.
Near as I can tell, these books (and now the movies that go with them to fill out what the characters look like for some readers) are about the worst of teen drama and emo ass-hattery we have ALL experienced to some degree in our adolescence. The only difference is these terrible decisions, maybe due to the prevalence of mythical creatures in the "protagonists" world, actually make sense. In other words, Bella is being rewarded for acting like an idiot.
By the way, Ms. Meyer, great message for the kiddos: "If I try to kill myself (or let a biker gang run a train on me), my boyfriend will HAVE to come back." or Edward with "Some guy answered my ex-girlfriend's home phone. I'm going to kill myself."
Also, the scary minority threats of domestic violence and spousal abuse. "Don't make Jacob mad, because he'll warg out and slap you around, Bella!" Now, get him a COLD beer, bitch and try to not overcook his steak this time!
"Hang out with the palefaces." that's right Bella! She's taking the word back y'all! "Whazzup mah palefaces!? Fo shizzle mah pizzlefizzle!"
The last installment of this shitty series needs one thing, and one thing only: Samuel L. Jackson as Jules from Pulp Fiction.
For anyone in the movie: "Say 'vampire' one more #$%^& time, bitch! I dare you! I double-dog dare you!"
I wish I had a Sam Jackson to slap me around when I was acting stupid in high school.
Other Sam Jackson moments for Bella: "Go to college, bitch! Your 18 year old ass don't need to be gettin' married to no pasty-ass bloodsuckin' mother%^&*er, mother%^&*er!"
For Jacob, "This one's been workin' out. Put some mother%^&in' clothes on, mother$%^&*!"
or for that friend Bella went shopping with: "You are one funny mother$%^&er. Give Jules a hug."
To Jane: "See, now I'm thinking, maybe it means you're the evil little girl, and I'm the righteous man, and Mr. 9 millimeter here, he's the shepherd protecting my righteous ass in the valley of darkness. Or, it could mean you're the righteous one and I'm the shepherd and it's the world that's evil and selfish. I'd like that. But that shit ain't the truth. The truth is, you're the weak, and I'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm tryin',Jane . I'm trying real hard to be the shepherd."
Anyway, watching New Moon has improved my confidence as a writer. At this point, if my book never goes anywhere, it's NOT MY FAULT! If they will publish this shit, and not mine, then it's not my problem! Woohoo! It's like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders.
I hated this movie like Hell itself.
The next movie won't feature Sam Jackson, however, given Bella's track record, she's going to fall into a tryst with a frakking unicorn.
All I can say now is "Yes I can!" I write MUCH better stories than this.
These are terrible stories. As Jess put it, "they set the women's movement back at least 50 years." And she doesn't even follow LiveJournal, that was just the first thing that came out of her mouth. God how I love that woman.
Near as I can tell, these books (and now the movies that go with them to fill out what the characters look like for some readers) are about the worst of teen drama and emo ass-hattery we have ALL experienced to some degree in our adolescence. The only difference is these terrible decisions, maybe due to the prevalence of mythical creatures in the "protagonists" world, actually make sense. In other words, Bella is being rewarded for acting like an idiot.
By the way, Ms. Meyer, great message for the kiddos: "If I try to kill myself (or let a biker gang run a train on me), my boyfriend will HAVE to come back." or Edward with "Some guy answered my ex-girlfriend's home phone. I'm going to kill myself."
Also, the scary minority threats of domestic violence and spousal abuse. "Don't make Jacob mad, because he'll warg out and slap you around, Bella!" Now, get him a COLD beer, bitch and try to not overcook his steak this time!
"Hang out with the palefaces." that's right Bella! She's taking the word back y'all! "Whazzup mah palefaces!? Fo shizzle mah pizzlefizzle!"
The last installment of this shitty series needs one thing, and one thing only: Samuel L. Jackson as Jules from Pulp Fiction.
For anyone in the movie: "Say 'vampire' one more #$%^& time, bitch! I dare you! I double-dog dare you!"
I wish I had a Sam Jackson to slap me around when I was acting stupid in high school.
Other Sam Jackson moments for Bella: "Go to college, bitch! Your 18 year old ass don't need to be gettin' married to no pasty-ass bloodsuckin' mother%^&*er, mother%^&*er!"
For Jacob, "This one's been workin' out. Put some mother%^&in' clothes on, mother$%^&*!"
or for that friend Bella went shopping with: "You are one funny mother$%^&er. Give Jules a hug."
To Jane: "See, now I'm thinking, maybe it means you're the evil little girl, and I'm the righteous man, and Mr. 9 millimeter here, he's the shepherd protecting my righteous ass in the valley of darkness. Or, it could mean you're the righteous one and I'm the shepherd and it's the world that's evil and selfish. I'd like that. But that shit ain't the truth. The truth is, you're the weak, and I'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm tryin',Jane . I'm trying real hard to be the shepherd."
Anyway, watching New Moon has improved my confidence as a writer. At this point, if my book never goes anywhere, it's NOT MY FAULT! If they will publish this shit, and not mine, then it's not my problem! Woohoo! It's like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders.
I hated this movie like Hell itself.
The next movie won't feature Sam Jackson, however, given Bella's track record, she's going to fall into a tryst with a frakking unicorn.