Your name engraved herein - 刻在你心底的名字
I chance upon this Taiwanese movie from Netflix recently. I keep wondering whether it is easy to find that one friend who can share the thoughts, can chat whatever topics in this world.
At least for me, I did not.
When I was in secondary one, I could not take my eyes away from a fellow secondary two guy. I do not know why? I would want to follow the way he walks, the way he talks, the way he reads the books etc. Just simply like his actions. If there is a Google search machine then, I believe I will try to dig whatever I can get to know about him. I knew he took part in NPCC. During the Saturdays activities, I would always want to know whether he was here, although I was in NCC, to catch a glimpse of him from a distance.
But I didn't have the courage to say hello to him. He seemed to have left for another school when he completed his secondary two.
Then somewhere in 1988, when I was still serving the NS, we have this buddy system to do stocktaking in the warehouses. Victor and I hid behind one of the buildings to rest, or simply what others would say "to eat snake". He smokes as we chat. We chatted a lot, from the topic of bullying, we continued to the topic on gay sex. He dared to show me the "correct way" as he masturbated himself. He wanted me to show him "what I have learnt" from him. It was then I showed my dick to someone for the first time and masturabted myself. No body contacts.
I didn't like Victor's character. He likes to drink and smoke, which I do not. We have lost contacts after our RODs.
Then somewhere in 2000 I think, I knew him from those pen-pal columns. He could write very well. I knew he was not from the same era as me, as those Chinese characters that he used were not common. He brought me to the chalet at Changi Village one day, and we had sex. He regretted to have "led me to the wrong path of life" when I didn't blame him at all. He encouraged me to get married and lead a normal life instead.
We somehow lost contacts when he did not reply my mails anymore.
And these will be the few stories that engraved in my memory for the rest of my life. The stories about my curiosity in search between true love or simply sex.
(to be continued...)