(no subject)
Last post was just long thoughts I've been having all night. It started at rehearsal. I was talking with a friend, and he asked me what I meant by a comment I'd made on Facebook last week. I told him it was about how frustrated I'd been by having to be the responsible one in the relationship, how chris doesn't really do chores, expects me to look after him and do most everything for him the way his mother did. I was just ranting, getting it off my chest, when out of nowhere he says, "Sounds like it's time to get a divorce."
Shock. Utter and total shock.
Geez, it's not like I was saying he hit me, or was selling my car to get drug money, or cheating on me in our bed or anything. I was just venting about stupid little stuff, RELATIONSHIP stuff that happens when two people who were raised differently move in together. It doesn't mean that we're never gonna make it. It's not something that warrants getting divorced.
And that made me sad, because I realized that to a lot of people, that WAS a reason to get divorced. Marriage isn't about two people saying vows and then living happily ever after; that shit's just for fairy tales. It's about saying vows and then fighting for the next few years over who takes out the trash and whose turn it is to scoop the poop. It's about, yes, fighting and getting angry and being hurt and saying something you don't mean because you want so much to be right no matter what, and then getting over it together. Marriage isn't something that happens to you; it's something that you work on TOGETHER for the rest of your lives. That's why so many people get divorced- they expect marriage to just work, and when stuff gets rough, when they wake up and realize that the world is still turning even though they've had their heads buried in the honeymoon sand, they get scared. They don't know how to deal, or they're just not willing to put in the effort. And that makes me want to cry.
No it doesn't. It make me want to shoot some people and require the rest to be chemically sterilized.
Seriously, people. Darwin was right about some things. All these safety laws we have, like being required to wear motorcycle helmets and seat belts and have "Caution! HOT" on coffee cups? That just keeps the idiots alive long enough to breed. Now who really wants that?
Shock. Utter and total shock.
Geez, it's not like I was saying he hit me, or was selling my car to get drug money, or cheating on me in our bed or anything. I was just venting about stupid little stuff, RELATIONSHIP stuff that happens when two people who were raised differently move in together. It doesn't mean that we're never gonna make it. It's not something that warrants getting divorced.
And that made me sad, because I realized that to a lot of people, that WAS a reason to get divorced. Marriage isn't about two people saying vows and then living happily ever after; that shit's just for fairy tales. It's about saying vows and then fighting for the next few years over who takes out the trash and whose turn it is to scoop the poop. It's about, yes, fighting and getting angry and being hurt and saying something you don't mean because you want so much to be right no matter what, and then getting over it together. Marriage isn't something that happens to you; it's something that you work on TOGETHER for the rest of your lives. That's why so many people get divorced- they expect marriage to just work, and when stuff gets rough, when they wake up and realize that the world is still turning even though they've had their heads buried in the honeymoon sand, they get scared. They don't know how to deal, or they're just not willing to put in the effort. And that makes me want to cry.
No it doesn't. It make me want to shoot some people and require the rest to be chemically sterilized.
Seriously, people. Darwin was right about some things. All these safety laws we have, like being required to wear motorcycle helmets and seat belts and have "Caution! HOT" on coffee cups? That just keeps the idiots alive long enough to breed. Now who really wants that?