Entry by an H. B. Woodlawn alumni
On May 24th, 2005, my LJ word of the day was bittersweet, as is the case again today.
bitter: Leaving what has been my second (third? fourth?) home for the last seven years, along with the supportive/unique/amazing staff and the 75% of my class attending a school other than Mary Washington in the Fall
sweet: GRADUATING HIGH SCHOOL!
bitter: First day I spent without seeing Justin AT ALL since I met him.
sweet: Being busy ALL day with the Class of '06
bitter: Justin may have to move to a different state shortly.
sweet: (HYPOTHETICALLY) Since I'd be moving to Fredericksburg three weeks after he leaves, I would have enough time to focus on productivity and preparation. And once I got there, I would have no strings attached and be able to enjoy the single life that college infamously offers. But if he stays in Arlington, that's not what I want. Keep in mind that I met this boy on June 4th. Crazy/insane or insane/crazy?
Ironically, one of the "bitters" of May 24th was that Ian would be "leaving" in a few months. We all know that didn't happen. BUT HE FINALLY LEFT YESTERDAY!! I used to want him to leave so that it would be easier to get over him, but now I'm just glad that the trash has finally been taken out. I don't have to have awkward run-ins with him anymore and I don't have to regret things I said out of spite and I won't want to leave parties to prove a point or hold my ground (WIN). I feel FREE!!! He can fuck up as many California girls as he wants, for all I care.
Boys have taken over this entry, but they're really not too much of a concern right now. I dropped Eddie off tonight and on the way home we were talking about our class and classical music and travel and living self-sufficiently in the woods and how much we've changed since we were in 7th grade and how we don't know what we want to do in the future and then he was leaving and we were saying our goodbyes and he said (sincerely) "have a nice life" and I think I was in shock. I didn't want to imagine never seeing him again. I think he noticed this, since instantly he added "But I'm sure I'll see you again" and I said "I hope so" and he said "Yeah, me too". And that was that. But I think that was when it really hit me.
I miss my best friend. I miss my former best friend? I don't know what to do. And there's nothing I can do. And I'll always love her. I mean since this entry is basically a summary of my thoughts at the moment and a very curt update since my last entry, the point needs to be made. I think about her constantly so omitting that thought from this summary would be deceptive. But I guess there's not much I can say. There is a rather interesting story behind it but I've improved dramatically regarding what to share and what not to share over LiveJournal.
I need money. I fill up my tank everyday worth $5, then miraculously scrounge up another $5 for the next day. Food is uhm...not in my price range. But that's what boys are for. Interpret that in any way you prefer. I am surprised that I am still awake, since I woke up at 7am to prepare for the senior play, and have been active henceforth. There are many more significant events/thoughts/comments/observations/theories, but the lack of sleep in addition to the chlorine from the pool party is really making keeping my eyes open an overwhelming task. Nighty-night, y'all.
bitter: Leaving what has been my second (third? fourth?) home for the last seven years, along with the supportive/unique/amazing staff and the 75% of my class attending a school other than Mary Washington in the Fall
sweet: GRADUATING HIGH SCHOOL!
bitter: First day I spent without seeing Justin AT ALL since I met him.
sweet: Being busy ALL day with the Class of '06
bitter: Justin may have to move to a different state shortly.
sweet: (HYPOTHETICALLY) Since I'd be moving to Fredericksburg three weeks after he leaves, I would have enough time to focus on productivity and preparation. And once I got there, I would have no strings attached and be able to enjoy the single life that college infamously offers. But if he stays in Arlington, that's not what I want. Keep in mind that I met this boy on June 4th. Crazy/insane or insane/crazy?
Ironically, one of the "bitters" of May 24th was that Ian would be "leaving" in a few months. We all know that didn't happen. BUT HE FINALLY LEFT YESTERDAY!! I used to want him to leave so that it would be easier to get over him, but now I'm just glad that the trash has finally been taken out. I don't have to have awkward run-ins with him anymore and I don't have to regret things I said out of spite and I won't want to leave parties to prove a point or hold my ground (WIN). I feel FREE!!! He can fuck up as many California girls as he wants, for all I care.
Boys have taken over this entry, but they're really not too much of a concern right now. I dropped Eddie off tonight and on the way home we were talking about our class and classical music and travel and living self-sufficiently in the woods and how much we've changed since we were in 7th grade and how we don't know what we want to do in the future and then he was leaving and we were saying our goodbyes and he said (sincerely) "have a nice life" and I think I was in shock. I didn't want to imagine never seeing him again. I think he noticed this, since instantly he added "But I'm sure I'll see you again" and I said "I hope so" and he said "Yeah, me too". And that was that. But I think that was when it really hit me.
I miss my best friend. I miss my former best friend? I don't know what to do. And there's nothing I can do. And I'll always love her. I mean since this entry is basically a summary of my thoughts at the moment and a very curt update since my last entry, the point needs to be made. I think about her constantly so omitting that thought from this summary would be deceptive. But I guess there's not much I can say. There is a rather interesting story behind it but I've improved dramatically regarding what to share and what not to share over LiveJournal.
I need money. I fill up my tank everyday worth $5, then miraculously scrounge up another $5 for the next day. Food is uhm...not in my price range. But that's what boys are for. Interpret that in any way you prefer. I am surprised that I am still awake, since I woke up at 7am to prepare for the senior play, and have been active henceforth. There are many more significant events/thoughts/comments/observations/theories, but the lack of sleep in addition to the chlorine from the pool party is really making keeping my eyes open an overwhelming task. Nighty-night, y'all.