i wouldnt trade nething.. ur still my everything..

[wen_stars_bleed]

i hate how he still does this knowing ill always be there. knowing ill be the one to make him happy...knowing all these damn things but yet nothing happens. ANd ofcourse im the fool who just sits on the sideline and waits for her turn. i kno im not pretty, i kno im not the thinnest person, or the funniest. I kno im nun of the good qualities that most guys look for. BUT DAMN WE HAVE A PERFECT EVERYTHING TOGETHER AND ILL MAKE U HAPPY!!! isnt that enough?!? i dunno why i bother.. i dunno why i do this to myself. but i do. Im so weird.. i hate it. I never pick ne of the "winners" as some would call it. For some reason i never even bother picking out a guy for me who ever be good to me. its more like"hey this kid wants to fool around.. and whoa even better hes hott! so wut if hes a complete ass i dont give a fuck" yea its just like that. As good as my moods may be or have been... i still hate myself. I dont care about myself.. never have I so why start now? I have more reasons to hate myself now than ever before. no1 is to blame for ruining my life but myself. i set myself up for this.. and its me who has to live with the consequences. wut scares me is that nun of this even bothers me. so wut if i get into an abussive relationship? good i freakin deserve it for the shit ive done. ANd im sucha push over its insane. u wanna know wut im doing right now?! RYANS ENGLISH PAPER.. the paper that ive spent all weekend doing but also agreed to doing cuz i felt bad. wow. i fucking suck at life. i put my life on hold for others.. everything i do is for everyone and anyone but myself. Someday im gonna self destruct... im just gonna crummble.i cant stand it. i cant stand this. josh just tried calling me.. i didnt answer. im a bad person. gr. i hate this i realli do. i hate the feeling of never being good enough for anyone or anything.i dunno

"dont worry ill catch you....dont worry ill catch you..dont ever worry ur arms in mine anytime wouldnt trade anything, ur still my everything" <-always will be :(