why do we scream at eachother.this is wut it sounds like when the doves cry..la la la
wow i just looked back at my previous entry and i was happy like whoa. i think that when my sis stopped at dunkin b4 she dropped off me and jen that one of the workers at "dunky" but some "fun stuff" in my ice coffee.lol. w/e i dont hate it. i was extremely happy cuz i had every reason to be
- reason1 i got to hang out w. my twin jenny a :)
-2: got my ice coffee at dunkin <- my reason for living lol -3: i didnt look hideous!! when u look good u feel good ;) 4:good weather which made things even better cuz i wasnt freezing my ass off and showing the world thru my nipz how cold i am*embarrassing*
5: just chilled with the ladies.
6: had a quikee with jenn in the woods around the field.
7: saw Mr.one night, who saw me and flashed me a cute smile that caused me to have an orgasm. yes it was that good lol.
alright i might sound like a wikid big loser cuz im realli pumped and enthusiastic about my good moods cuz well ive had one everyday all week compared to the occassional artificial happiness that the meds would give me; that was just a tease lol. and yes ive been sober lol im just not used to it . thats all. ive always been so used to wallowing in self pitty And plotting my own death bla bla bla all that bad scary psycho stuff no1 wants to hear. it scares the hell outta me knowing that i can easily go back down to the breaking point thats i was at between september and 2 months ago which nearly killed me. cuz im bi-polar (for those who dont know)its a severe mood and mental disorder where u cant realli control ur mind mood severe mood swings. Going from being just ontop of the world to just feeling like shit and wanting to die. some bi-polar have committed suicide because of the way their mind messed with them and made them go crazy.yes very very scary when ur a teen suffering from it. and im not on any medication anymore for it cuz my body doesnt respond well to meds it makes me worse. so im just takin it all in while i still can. but hopefully since i have such good shit around me, that ill stay this way atleast until winter cuz thats when shit gets REALLY bad cuz well the weather is shitty . so yea ive been thru a lot of shit for the longest time and never had a break of being in a constant good mood due to the good things in it. and now wut i thought was just impossible is happening. things are good and im truly happy. mwahahaha TAKE THAT MUTHERFUCKER!! <- dedicated to bi-polar lol and to make things even better josh is comin back in exactly 3 weeks well on the 21st of may. im pumped he realli wants to hang out. and be around someone like me.. u kno drug free lol im glad hes clean now and is determined on staying that way cuz he realized all that un-necessary shit that came along with it. not worth it at all!
goin to natick now.. more fun with sister and cousin lol.. later-me
- reason1 i got to hang out w. my twin jenny a :)
-2: got my ice coffee at dunkin <- my reason for living lol -3: i didnt look hideous!! when u look good u feel good ;) 4:good weather which made things even better cuz i wasnt freezing my ass off and showing the world thru my nipz how cold i am*embarrassing*
5: just chilled with the ladies.
6: had a quikee with jenn in the woods around the field.
7: saw Mr.one night, who saw me and flashed me a cute smile that caused me to have an orgasm. yes it was that good lol.
alright i might sound like a wikid big loser cuz im realli pumped and enthusiastic about my good moods cuz well ive had one everyday all week compared to the occassional artificial happiness that the meds would give me; that was just a tease lol. and yes ive been sober lol im just not used to it . thats all. ive always been so used to wallowing in self pitty And plotting my own death bla bla bla all that bad scary psycho stuff no1 wants to hear. it scares the hell outta me knowing that i can easily go back down to the breaking point thats i was at between september and 2 months ago which nearly killed me. cuz im bi-polar (for those who dont know)its a severe mood and mental disorder where u cant realli control ur mind mood severe mood swings. Going from being just ontop of the world to just feeling like shit and wanting to die. some bi-polar have committed suicide because of the way their mind messed with them and made them go crazy.yes very very scary when ur a teen suffering from it. and im not on any medication anymore for it cuz my body doesnt respond well to meds it makes me worse. so im just takin it all in while i still can. but hopefully since i have such good shit around me, that ill stay this way atleast until winter cuz thats when shit gets REALLY bad cuz well the weather is shitty . so yea ive been thru a lot of shit for the longest time and never had a break of being in a constant good mood due to the good things in it. and now wut i thought was just impossible is happening. things are good and im truly happy. mwahahaha TAKE THAT MUTHERFUCKER!! <- dedicated to bi-polar lol and to make things even better josh is comin back in exactly 3 weeks well on the 21st of may. im pumped he realli wants to hang out. and be around someone like me.. u kno drug free lol im glad hes clean now and is determined on staying that way cuz he realized all that un-necessary shit that came along with it. not worth it at all!
goin to natick now.. more fun with sister and cousin lol.. later-me