I cannot bear David Cameron.
I have despised him since his SpAd days. I have loathed him since the Conservative and Unionist Party chose the wrong David as Leader. I have, in fact, when I thought of him at all, disdained him for a goodish part of my life.
He’s sopping Wet. He’s an invertebrate. He’s a eunuch. (I speak politically and metaphorically.) He’s the incarnation of everything wrong with the upper middle classes. He’s a minatory example of why fagging ought never to have been abolished at school. He’s a symbol of all that one detests about BNC.
He’s the second coming of Ted Heath.
He has no particular principles and an overdeveloped sense of his own worth, importance, and entitlement. As a result (and here is yet another unintended and dire consequence of the abolition of fagging), he is lazy, and bereft of an intellectual hinterland quite as much as of any particular principles. He is part of that generation of modern politicians who demand to lead without ever having served in any way. He’s the overfed face of the jeunesse dorée: a gilded fly. He is by instinct a troughing, rent-seeking, little statist: rather a grandee than a grocer. He is what we get in a country which has unwisely abolished National Service and which allows people into politics who have never held a proper job. He is a media construct. He’s the Vicar of Bray.
He is also, of the choices on offer, the only possible choice to be PM, in that he is, for now, the Leader of the only party which can possibly be trusted to govern the UK.
[Why Labour must not govern.]
We do not elect Prime Ministers in the way in which Yanks elect presidents. We elect governments; and their leaders may change without further intervention.
Ed Monolith Miliband leads the party which humbugged us all - including humbugging the Conservatives and the GW Bush administration - into the Iraq War, which ought perhaps to have been fought, but not in Mr Tony’s way and not at Mr Tony’s behest and not on Mr Tony’s ‘I want a Falklands Bounce of my own’ timetable.
The fratricidal Mr Miliband is personally responsible, even aside from the incompetence, cowardice, and treachery of Mr Obama, for the present condition of Syria, and the rise of Daesh: and there remain serious, unanswered questions as to his role in the unexpected rejection of action in Syria when the House voted it down. Such votes are not risked absent soundings through the Usual Channels, and discussions on Privy Council terms; and it is very difficult not to conclude that Mr Miliband, as Leader of the Opposition - an Opposition neither Her Majesty’s nor Loyal -, did something unprecedently dirty, and ratted. If this is true, and it is not easy to see how it cannot have been, not only ought Mr Miliband be precluded from leading his party, let alone his country, he wants to be hounded permanently from public life.
Mr Miliband, if installed in Downing Street, should be so installed without a majority or indeed without the greatest number of seats of his own. That is how the system works; and I have no quarrel with the system, as such. But Mr Miliband has been, since he stabbed his brother in the back, the abject creature of Len McCluskey: it was neither the Labour Party nor its Parliamentary cadre who chose him over his brother, but the union paymasters alone.
And this is a hallmark and a portent. For if Mr Miliband were to become PM, it should necessarily be by grace of and at the whim of yet further puppet-masters: ones who bear no good will to the nation.
Mr Miliband not only cannot admit that his party bears a grave responsibility for the late Crash, and must never be trusted with economic governance again until its stables are cleansed; he - hiding, not infrequently, behind the old Blair-Brown feud - dodges his personal responsibility, with Mr Balls, for the disaster, which has their grubby fingerprints on every spreadsheet.
Mr Miliband explicitly intends to wreck the UK economy all over again, if he gets the chance, in the service of his cod-Marxist doctrines. And that should be so were he left to himself.
And, for Mr Miliband to be PM, he should not be left to himself. Or even Left to himself.
Mr Miliband has made an opening to the Left, and proclaimed the absence of any enemy to the Left. Well, who are these people with whom he is willing to make common cause?
They are those who, at the most perilous moment in foreign affairs since July 1914, would at the least (SNP) strip the nation of its nuclear deterrent, and at the worst (the Greens) abolish HM Forces.
They are the people who have done this.
They are those who refuse to allow the people to have a vote on continued EU membership, less because - to paraphrase Macaulay on bear-baiting - the people might answer contrary to their wishes, than because it allows the people to answer at all.
I am very fond of Douglas Carswell. I am not terribly fond of much of Ukip. It exists because of the folly of Mr Cameron. But its enemies are good enemies to have: statists and fascists of the Left, who, in their metropolitan self-righteousness, consider any means justified to stop Ukip and silence it. In a democracy. In the throes of a general election. By vandalism and threats and shoutings-down.
These are Mr Miliband’s allies and supporters.
And then there is the SNP. They are not merely wrong. They are evil. Deeply, deeply evil.
Mr Miliband and his party are not content to beggar you: they openly desire to strip you of your freedom of speech, they wish further to criminalise speech, and they explicitly support utterly un-British restrictions upon freedom of the press and of publication - and, quite nakedly, do so in the interests of the powerful, the rich, and politicians.
The SNP are worse. They are evil. And racist.
A party of believers in democracy, having demanded a ‘once in a generation’ referendum and lost it by eleven points over all and in every constituency save three, should accept that result.
The SNP are not believers in democracy. They do not accept that result, they engage in wild claims to deny its validity, and their definition of ‘a generation’ is now measured in months.
A party with a principled devotion to referenda and direct democracy should welcome an EU referendum and accept from the outset whatever its result may be.
The SNP do not have a principled devotion to referenda and direct democracy; wish to veto an EU referendum; and assert that, if there should be, and they don’t like the answer, they must have the power to reject the result.
A party in a democracy does not arrogate to itself the claim to speak, alone and unchallenged, for the nation, as a one-party state, or denounce any dissent as treason and indeed ‘race-treason’, or define the nation they represent in explicitly racial terms, or demand control of the state broadcaster and the loss of any independence it has.
The SNP - yes, that’s right, got it in one.
Leaders of democratic parties in a democracy do not erect self-aggrandising menhirs in the best Soviet style as political acts. Mr Miliband’s threat to do so - in violation, I note, of planning law - is an imitative act, inspired by … wait for it … the prior act of Wee Eck Salmond of the SNP.
The SNP are in fact everything which Ukip has been claimed to be by its worst enemies.
And Mr Miliband, whatever he says, is prepared to strike hands with the Schottische Nationalsozialistiche Arbeiterpartei.
Why not? Labour, whilst Mr Miliband’s soft, never-done-a-hand’s-turn-of-work little paws were amongst those on the levers of power, created the Scots mess, blatantly to make Scotland a permanent Labour satrapy, and (oops!) called the Nats from the vasty deep. And Labour, and Mr Miliband, will do a deal with anyone who claims to be on the Left.
They were happy to include in their ranks, and truckle to, Lutfur Rahman until he became too noisome an embarrassment to ignore; and now that the election is tight, their paymaster backs him once more.
They ran Rochdale and Rotherham.
They have been willing to crawl through any sewer to preserve the gerrymandering without which the Conservatives should be looking at an outright majority these past six months of the campaign.
They will tell you how they hate injustice and inequality, particularly sexual inequality, and then clamour to address segregated audiences - and propose legislation which should outlaw criticism of these, and of injustice and inequality, for electorally valuable groups.
Why ought anyone to imagine they’d not do backroom deals with the Nats, even at the price of destroying the Union? And be not deceived: with the Nats, there is no other end, no other goal, and no lesser price.
I detest David Cameron. I loathe the Cameroons.
And I am, of course, voting Tory all the same: Unionist all the same. Please join me. The risks are too great not to do so.