(no subject)
I screwed up. I didn't listen to anyone that made sense. I want to go home. I want to finsish school, and I want to clean up. Its all out there now for everyone. Before if you told me what I was doing was a big deal, i would have brushed you off. How dumb is that? And most of us know what it was.
pot
coke
shrooms
acid
alot more that i dont feel like listing
disrespecting almost everyone
lying to almost everyone
Now I think that its over between me and angie, but what should I expect? I miss all of my friends alot and my parents want to send me away for a year. Thats okay. I would get my High School degree or whatever there. And after the year I would be 18. I would be clean.
These last few days have been insane. I dont know what happened when. Sleeping at lots of peoples houses. Ive seen my parents a few times. In the back of a police car. Falling asleep on the floor of a police station and knowing that it was the most peaceful rest i had in years. I dont want to see drugs ever again. And I dont want to smoke a cigarette ever again. How did I think that I could get away with dealing drugs and no one would ever see. I'm so lucky that I didnt have anything on me by mere chance. Any other night would have ended in me locked up for sure.
I miss Angie and think about her every second. And I've learned somthing that alot of people need to realize. If there is a friend in crap like I was, all you need to do is say somthing. Everyone was so freaking scared to say anything to me. I told them "its cool" before they could say anything, so people belived me. I belived myself
IF YOU DONT READ ANY OF THE ENTRY, READ THIS!!
if you see someone with problems, tell them. I want to thank Brad alot for having a bad trip and telling me that he never wants me to do coke ever again. Thats all it took for me. In the car taking him up to second cinema, i decided that I would never think of it again, just because i would rather not feed some stupid craving of mine than keep a friend.
Another thanks to Angie, because she told me that if I continued what I was doing, she would end everything. I know it all ended anyway, but that night I decided that drugs had messed me up, and I would never touch them again. I really hope that I can just go back to school clean soon, and make her see that I am such a better person.
Thanks to Griff. none of you who will read this will really know Griff, but he convinced me not to run from my problems, but deal with them. I was ready to hop on a bus and leave everything behind.
Thanks to Brett. He tried to tell my what should make sense, and I shrugged him off because it wasnt what I wanted to hear. I hear you now.
Thanks to everyone who has let me stay with them and that have tried to help me out
Thanks to Aaron and Brad and Wes, who i didnt know very well, but at least i felt like they cared, when i didnt feel that from anyone else. I am sure that I got really annoying.
I want to go home, and I want to see everyone.
Read this and you will know if I am talking to you. Its been only days for me without drugs. When I was on them, I felt like it was the only way I could have fun. Now im in a way crappy situation, but I can still find peace. Your head clears up, even though you wont beleive it. I am not going to tell anyone that if they smoke pot or do phycadelics, thier life is screwed, but you know who you are, and most of you probly dont know I have a journal, so I am counting on friends to pass on this message. Dont mess with coke and heroin and meth ect. I havent done all of them, but even the text books will tell you. They will mess you over. Think of all of the money you can save, and how you can clear your head up. Start seeing why everyone says "drugs are bad".
pot
coke
shrooms
acid
alot more that i dont feel like listing
disrespecting almost everyone
lying to almost everyone
Now I think that its over between me and angie, but what should I expect? I miss all of my friends alot and my parents want to send me away for a year. Thats okay. I would get my High School degree or whatever there. And after the year I would be 18. I would be clean.
These last few days have been insane. I dont know what happened when. Sleeping at lots of peoples houses. Ive seen my parents a few times. In the back of a police car. Falling asleep on the floor of a police station and knowing that it was the most peaceful rest i had in years. I dont want to see drugs ever again. And I dont want to smoke a cigarette ever again. How did I think that I could get away with dealing drugs and no one would ever see. I'm so lucky that I didnt have anything on me by mere chance. Any other night would have ended in me locked up for sure.
I miss Angie and think about her every second. And I've learned somthing that alot of people need to realize. If there is a friend in crap like I was, all you need to do is say somthing. Everyone was so freaking scared to say anything to me. I told them "its cool" before they could say anything, so people belived me. I belived myself
IF YOU DONT READ ANY OF THE ENTRY, READ THIS!!
if you see someone with problems, tell them. I want to thank Brad alot for having a bad trip and telling me that he never wants me to do coke ever again. Thats all it took for me. In the car taking him up to second cinema, i decided that I would never think of it again, just because i would rather not feed some stupid craving of mine than keep a friend.
Another thanks to Angie, because she told me that if I continued what I was doing, she would end everything. I know it all ended anyway, but that night I decided that drugs had messed me up, and I would never touch them again. I really hope that I can just go back to school clean soon, and make her see that I am such a better person.
Thanks to Griff. none of you who will read this will really know Griff, but he convinced me not to run from my problems, but deal with them. I was ready to hop on a bus and leave everything behind.
Thanks to Brett. He tried to tell my what should make sense, and I shrugged him off because it wasnt what I wanted to hear. I hear you now.
Thanks to everyone who has let me stay with them and that have tried to help me out
Thanks to Aaron and Brad and Wes, who i didnt know very well, but at least i felt like they cared, when i didnt feel that from anyone else. I am sure that I got really annoying.
I want to go home, and I want to see everyone.
Read this and you will know if I am talking to you. Its been only days for me without drugs. When I was on them, I felt like it was the only way I could have fun. Now im in a way crappy situation, but I can still find peace. Your head clears up, even though you wont beleive it. I am not going to tell anyone that if they smoke pot or do phycadelics, thier life is screwed, but you know who you are, and most of you probly dont know I have a journal, so I am counting on friends to pass on this message. Dont mess with coke and heroin and meth ect. I havent done all of them, but even the text books will tell you. They will mess you over. Think of all of the money you can save, and how you can clear your head up. Start seeing why everyone says "drugs are bad".