Long, long, long time
We bought tickets to honolulu on friday. We will go in mid november and fly back late at night on Thanksgiving, which means we will get to enjoy my dad's thanksgiving, something I haven't done since my senior year of high school. We will eat so much food. I also am thinking of coercing Chris to stay at Turtle Bay for a night, although my dad thinks Ko 'Olina is nicer. Undoubtedly we will stay somewhere cheap and lame in waikiki the rest of the time.
It was actually a fairly inexpensive time to go (due to the flying on thanksgiving aspect) but it was also the only time to go, from our life's point of view. We had put "trip to hawai'i" on our 2008 list and time was running out to make good on that one. Plus, I have no idea what is going on with our life past maybe March of 2009. And I won't have any better idea until mid-November. Of course we treat the cat as though we are moving to the UK, but in fact that may not occur. And it's not up to me. And everyone in America I have spoken with is broke or not interested.
As far as that "not interested" thing goes, I think I have realized that I am much better in person than on paper. On paper I don't look like much, yet, so those people who have been sincerely interested (even if broke) know me in person or have heard of me from someone they know well. It's a weird thing to realize about myself, not least because it puts extra pressure on social situations which already inspire a bit of dread in me. What comes across about me in person that elicits positive responses and interest from colleagues and potential supervisors, that doesn't come across on paper? Short term approach is obviously to make the best use of in-person interactions that I can, but long term, of course, I must find a way of coming across on paper.
Anyway, Hawai'i. I haven't been home since 2003. I don't quite know what I will find. I know that I am becoming increasingly disgruntled with the east coast and I hope to find the antidote there, the thing that makes me fundamentally who I am, fundamentally at odds with the east coast. Only since moving to Philly have certain things about Hawai'i, certain phrases and ways of thought, truly resonated as unique, special, different. For instance, the state motto, Ua mau ke 'ea 'o ka 'aina i ka pono - I knew the translation, but I never fully understood the sentiment, and I needed the contrast to do so. "The life of the land is preserved in righteousness" - what does that mean? In hawai'ian pono is clearly a very basic concept, but it translates as something not so basic - "righteousness" - in english. Anyway, I used to think it meant that righteousness is important, a pretty empty idea. But on the bus to work one day, I looked out at the angry, dirty traffic around the hospital and thought of a better translation. 'ea means sovereignty, after all. The nation could only survive through honor. But the concept of 'aina is not to be forgotten here: that the nation itself cannot be separated from the land. That the land must be honored, treated in a moral and just manner, for a civilization based there to hope to continue. At the risk of understatement, I do not find this to be a particular value of the east coast. But I would never have known if I hadn't moved here.
I always got good grades for my hawai'ian to english translation in high school.
I don't know what Chris will think of the place. We'll be visiting some gravesites, including at least one new one since my last visit. We'll eat a lot. We'll see the crazy house I grew up in, Noel Coward name and all. I've been cooking a ridiculous amount since we bought the tickets - poke, banana lumpia, butter mochi. My dad is so excited. He told my little brother (almost 13, just started 8th grade, voice beginning to change just a bit) that we were only going to buy the tickets if he raised his grades. He told me he would take the whole week we were going to be there off from work.
I am excited too, but really it's not hip to be experiencing the conflicting emotions that I am right now. It's my only home.
It was actually a fairly inexpensive time to go (due to the flying on thanksgiving aspect) but it was also the only time to go, from our life's point of view. We had put "trip to hawai'i" on our 2008 list and time was running out to make good on that one. Plus, I have no idea what is going on with our life past maybe March of 2009. And I won't have any better idea until mid-November. Of course we treat the cat as though we are moving to the UK, but in fact that may not occur. And it's not up to me. And everyone in America I have spoken with is broke or not interested.
As far as that "not interested" thing goes, I think I have realized that I am much better in person than on paper. On paper I don't look like much, yet, so those people who have been sincerely interested (even if broke) know me in person or have heard of me from someone they know well. It's a weird thing to realize about myself, not least because it puts extra pressure on social situations which already inspire a bit of dread in me. What comes across about me in person that elicits positive responses and interest from colleagues and potential supervisors, that doesn't come across on paper? Short term approach is obviously to make the best use of in-person interactions that I can, but long term, of course, I must find a way of coming across on paper.
Anyway, Hawai'i. I haven't been home since 2003. I don't quite know what I will find. I know that I am becoming increasingly disgruntled with the east coast and I hope to find the antidote there, the thing that makes me fundamentally who I am, fundamentally at odds with the east coast. Only since moving to Philly have certain things about Hawai'i, certain phrases and ways of thought, truly resonated as unique, special, different. For instance, the state motto, Ua mau ke 'ea 'o ka 'aina i ka pono - I knew the translation, but I never fully understood the sentiment, and I needed the contrast to do so. "The life of the land is preserved in righteousness" - what does that mean? In hawai'ian pono is clearly a very basic concept, but it translates as something not so basic - "righteousness" - in english. Anyway, I used to think it meant that righteousness is important, a pretty empty idea. But on the bus to work one day, I looked out at the angry, dirty traffic around the hospital and thought of a better translation. 'ea means sovereignty, after all. The nation could only survive through honor. But the concept of 'aina is not to be forgotten here: that the nation itself cannot be separated from the land. That the land must be honored, treated in a moral and just manner, for a civilization based there to hope to continue. At the risk of understatement, I do not find this to be a particular value of the east coast. But I would never have known if I hadn't moved here.
I always got good grades for my hawai'ian to english translation in high school.
I don't know what Chris will think of the place. We'll be visiting some gravesites, including at least one new one since my last visit. We'll eat a lot. We'll see the crazy house I grew up in, Noel Coward name and all. I've been cooking a ridiculous amount since we bought the tickets - poke, banana lumpia, butter mochi. My dad is so excited. He told my little brother (almost 13, just started 8th grade, voice beginning to change just a bit) that we were only going to buy the tickets if he raised his grades. He told me he would take the whole week we were going to be there off from work.
I am excited too, but really it's not hip to be experiencing the conflicting emotions that I am right now. It's my only home.