i could've been a sailor, i could've been a cook
this week ,as i have been for the pat few, i thought about my future and what i wished to do with my life, and i am still at a crossroads. my mother always talks about 'there are billions of lives to lead,' and i am finding that to be very, very true. i guess it is because i feel like i will be stuck in one thing forever that frightens me, and in order to try and escape that fear, i want to do everydream job i have ever had. before the start of this year i wanted to be a writer for some magazine or newspaper, but then i realized they had a hard time making money, and i really want to make money, and a lot of it at that, so i can have the lifestyle i want. before that i wanted to be a movie director, and that would be pretty fun, but it is really really competitive for jobs, and to make it you have to be super talented, and i have no doubt if i put my mind to it i could be semi-succesful, but i don't think i could be on the same level as speilberg, scorcese, or any other of the big hollywod players, which would be alright, i suppose. then i started taking web mastering this year, and i fell in love with html and computer code/programming, and this i something that i think i woulld really enjoy, but if companies continue to outsource jobs, it will be very hard to find work that involves the internet. i could go into game design which would be really fun, but i have always wanted some greater purpose to my life, or to do something that will cause someone or inspire someone to make a mark on the world, because life is so fleeting, and i think death is rather tragic, in a way, because some people never reach their full potential. then, when the election came up, i really wanted to be in politics, because i think i could do a lot of good there. maybe not, but i'd like to think i could. there have been some people that said i would be president someday, and mr. avery said i would go into politics, which is really flattering, but then again, my mom really wants me to pursue writing because she thinks i 'have a way with the english language.' maybe i could find some way to combine all of those, like cover politics and write about it for an online magazine. that would be a lot of fun. i've also thought about teaching a lot, too. i think that teaching would be very gratifying, because if you are a good teacher, like mr. atkinson or mr. farmer, and you touch just one student, then you have had a meaning to your life, and it has been a good one.
i really want to travel too, and if i was a teacher, i could be an ex-pat and teach abroad at american schools overseas, which would be amazing. i want to live in so many places, and i'm worried i won't get to, but as long as i am with the woman i love and i have a roof over my head and food on the table, i think i will be happy wherever i am. i think i will have to live in the city, because as nice as it is living where i have open spaces, it is so far to get anywhere. and when i say city, i mean true city. i want to live in a studio apartment and be trendy and listen to nick drake and frank sinatra and be really scene.i want to own a frank lloyd wright house before i die, or a house that looks like flw built it. i want to live in the city while i am young, in my twenties and early thirties, and then as i get older i think i will want to move into the country. i think it would be really nice to live in louisiana on an old plantation, because it is such a cool state, and i love new orleans so much. i think when i get much older, late fifties early sixties, around the time i retire, moving to the english countryside and living in a modest estate, note the word estate, would be really nice. i could wake up and have breakfast,then tend to a garden until noon, have lunch, then during the hot part of the day clean inside. later i would go back out and exercise, running, yoga, etc. and perhaps tend to the garden some more. then later i would come in and prepare dinner, eat, and then read a good book in my study next to a fire or whatnot. that would be a good life.
...i hope i get to spend it, however good or bad it is going to be, with miss andrea leigh parmelly, for she is the love of my life.
i really want to travel too, and if i was a teacher, i could be an ex-pat and teach abroad at american schools overseas, which would be amazing. i want to live in so many places, and i'm worried i won't get to, but as long as i am with the woman i love and i have a roof over my head and food on the table, i think i will be happy wherever i am. i think i will have to live in the city, because as nice as it is living where i have open spaces, it is so far to get anywhere. and when i say city, i mean true city. i want to live in a studio apartment and be trendy and listen to nick drake and frank sinatra and be really scene.i want to own a frank lloyd wright house before i die, or a house that looks like flw built it. i want to live in the city while i am young, in my twenties and early thirties, and then as i get older i think i will want to move into the country. i think it would be really nice to live in louisiana on an old plantation, because it is such a cool state, and i love new orleans so much. i think when i get much older, late fifties early sixties, around the time i retire, moving to the english countryside and living in a modest estate, note the word estate, would be really nice. i could wake up and have breakfast,then tend to a garden until noon, have lunch, then during the hot part of the day clean inside. later i would go back out and exercise, running, yoga, etc. and perhaps tend to the garden some more. then later i would come in and prepare dinner, eat, and then read a good book in my study next to a fire or whatnot. that would be a good life.
...i hope i get to spend it, however good or bad it is going to be, with miss andrea leigh parmelly, for she is the love of my life.