Medication -- Now With Extra Side Effects! O.o
So I ended up going to see the doctor yesterday which is, of course, my favorite thing to do, right after "Placing slivers of Bamboo under My Fingertips", and right before "Reading the Latest Minutes from the SCA BoD Meetings". She is still way too preoccupied by the numbers that show up on the blood pressure meter. Silly me, I thought the higher the number, the better the prize; but no, she wants lower numbers. Go fig.
She put me on a new medication, Exforge HCT. Now to me, this sounds like the name of a bulk-building product favored by Gym Rats. Can't you see the commercial?: Something low budget with that local production flavor, with seizure-inducing flashing lights and bold colors? And a voiceover by Randy "Macho Man" Savage - "TIRED OF BEING A 90 POUND WEAKLING? WANT TO BUILD A SOLID SET OF 'MACHO MAN' MUSCLES? USE NEW 'EXFORGE' AND BECOME THE REAL MAN LADIES DREAM OF!!!" OOOOO, YEAH!!! EXFORGE!!!" Seriously, who names this crap? But, I digress....
Reading the possible side effects, though, is like reading the symptoms of Fibromyalgia: "Side effects include low blood pressure; chest pains, swelling of the feet and hands, edema, changes in blood tests (?), dry mouth, thirst, weakness, lack of energy, drowsiness, restlessness--together?--confusion,seizures, muscle pains or cramps. muscle fatigue, very long urine output (do you measure that in feet? meters?), fast heartbeat, nausea, vomiting or donkey dating. Okay, I made that last one up, but still: Just how am I supposed to know if I have a side effect? Now I know how lab rats feel when they see the researcher approaching: Now what? I've only had one dose, but it did make me dizzy -- Time will tell if it's gonna work on the ol' BP. I don't know at what point the cure will be worse than the illness, but I suspect I'm getting closer...
Someone wanna feed me some cheese? We test animals love Colby.....
(Still smiling!)
She put me on a new medication, Exforge HCT. Now to me, this sounds like the name of a bulk-building product favored by Gym Rats. Can't you see the commercial?: Something low budget with that local production flavor, with seizure-inducing flashing lights and bold colors? And a voiceover by Randy "Macho Man" Savage - "TIRED OF BEING A 90 POUND WEAKLING? WANT TO BUILD A SOLID SET OF 'MACHO MAN' MUSCLES? USE NEW 'EXFORGE' AND BECOME THE REAL MAN LADIES DREAM OF!!!" OOOOO, YEAH!!! EXFORGE!!!" Seriously, who names this crap? But, I digress....
Reading the possible side effects, though, is like reading the symptoms of Fibromyalgia: "Side effects include low blood pressure; chest pains, swelling of the feet and hands, edema, changes in blood tests (?), dry mouth, thirst, weakness, lack of energy, drowsiness, restlessness--together?--confusion,seizures, muscle pains or cramps. muscle fatigue, very long urine output (do you measure that in feet? meters?), fast heartbeat, nausea, vomiting or donkey dating. Okay, I made that last one up, but still: Just how am I supposed to know if I have a side effect? Now I know how lab rats feel when they see the researcher approaching: Now what? I've only had one dose, but it did make me dizzy -- Time will tell if it's gonna work on the ol' BP. I don't know at what point the cure will be worse than the illness, but I suspect I'm getting closer...
Someone wanna feed me some cheese? We test animals love Colby.....
(Still smiling!)