"Krampusnacht" by Viridian5
It's after Christmas, but better late than never.
Title: “Krampusnacht”
Author: viridian5
Warnings: worksafe, PG-13
Pairing: Crawford/Schuldig
Summary: Crawford gets a glimpse into Schuldig’s idea of volunteer work.
Notes: Though it doesn’t come up in the fic, Schuldig sometimes describes Krampus to Americans as being part of “(Heavy) Metal Christmas.” Thanks to marasmine for the beta!
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“Krampusnacht”
by Viridian5
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A sudden bizarre mental image distracted Crawford from his evening reading. From the visible hair, the figure in it had to be Schuldig, but the fur-trimmed long suede coat with hood, boots where the “cloven hooves” on the bottom of the boots actually appeared to be some kind of platform sole/heel thing, mask with goat horns, gloves with claws, chains, bells, basket, and birch switches threw him off at first. What the hell.
Schuldig suddenly stood at the open door to Crawford’s room, wearing an acid green sweater, shiny black leather boots that went up to his knees, and black skinny jeans, which should look ridiculous on a 36-year-old man but somehow Schuldig made the ensemble work. It helped that he had nice legs. “Yes? You Saw something?”
They’d worked together long enough that they had this kind of awareness of each other. “Why am I foreseeing you dressed up as Krampus?”
Schuldig grinned. “Does one really need a reason to dress up as Krampus and hit people with sticks? I don’t.”
“I didn’t foresee you hitting people with sticks, but I should’ve guessed.” The costume looked professionally custom-made, but Crawford didn’t tell Schuldig what to do with all the money they’d made over the years. “Isn’t it too early in the month for me to get a vision of you doing that? Wait. Right, the Feast of St. Nikolaus is December 6, with Krampusnacht the night before it.”
“See? You’re so good that we barely need to have a conversation about this. But okay. You know that Bavarian restaurant/bar I’ve been hanging around sometimes the last few weeks? They’re going to have someone dressed up as St. Nikolaus swing by for the evening, but as a more Santa-looking version for the soft, decadent American children. I told them they couldn’t possibly do that without having Krampus show up, and things went on from there, as they tend to do. I’m perfect for it since, though they don’t know it, my telepathy makes me know for sure which of them are naughty or nice.”
“Do they realize that if they tap you as Krampus the evening is going to be R- or X-rated by the end?” He and Schuldig had an open relationship and varying sex drives, so Crawford didn’t mind as long as Schuldig used protection. Some of the stories afterward were interesting.
“I think that for some people that was an enticement.” Schuldig gave an “of course” shrug. “They just want their guest stars to show up on December 6, so they’re trying to decide whether I show up in a less scary costume for the kids to see along with the Santa-Nikolaus or if I go full-on Krampus and only appear for the adults at the bar starting at 11:30.”
Crawford would keep the date in mind while scheduling their jobs. “From the costume I saw, I think they decided on adults only.”
“Ooooh, lemme see.”
Crawford appreciated him asking. “Sure. Though you seeing it may change how things work out.”
“Please, I know. I’m a professional.” Once Schuldig got a look, his grin widened. “Nice. Unless they’re ready to show their child customers a dark, kinky, sexy Krampus, which I think not, they’ll have me appear at 11:30. I was hoping to scare some naughty children, but it’s probably for the best I don’t.”
“Thank you for seeing it that way,” Crawford replied dryly. “Though our lawyer might have been happier to get the additional income if the restaurant let you go for it and traumatize some children.”
“Eh. Soft, wimpy Americans. You would think New York City kids might be more used to the avant-garde, but maybe not. Getting sued is annoying, although I can change people’s minds....”
“Please don’t. Too much trouble over nothing.”
“So polite. I like it. Adults only it shall be. There are some things on the ensemble I want to improve though. Thanks for the sneak peek. Hey, do you want to be ‘punished’ and ravished by Krampus when I get home from my scheduled appearance?”
Hmm. “It depends on what condition your naughty fans leave you in.”
“No sloppy seconds, thirds, or whatever? Understandable. I’ll try to leave something nice for you.”
***********************THE END**********************
Title: “Krampusnacht”
Author: viridian5
Warnings: worksafe, PG-13
Pairing: Crawford/Schuldig
Summary: Crawford gets a glimpse into Schuldig’s idea of volunteer work.
Notes: Though it doesn’t come up in the fic, Schuldig sometimes describes Krampus to Americans as being part of “(Heavy) Metal Christmas.” Thanks to marasmine for the beta!
===================
“Krampusnacht”
by Viridian5
===================
A sudden bizarre mental image distracted Crawford from his evening reading. From the visible hair, the figure in it had to be Schuldig, but the fur-trimmed long suede coat with hood, boots where the “cloven hooves” on the bottom of the boots actually appeared to be some kind of platform sole/heel thing, mask with goat horns, gloves with claws, chains, bells, basket, and birch switches threw him off at first. What the hell.
Schuldig suddenly stood at the open door to Crawford’s room, wearing an acid green sweater, shiny black leather boots that went up to his knees, and black skinny jeans, which should look ridiculous on a 36-year-old man but somehow Schuldig made the ensemble work. It helped that he had nice legs. “Yes? You Saw something?”
They’d worked together long enough that they had this kind of awareness of each other. “Why am I foreseeing you dressed up as Krampus?”
Schuldig grinned. “Does one really need a reason to dress up as Krampus and hit people with sticks? I don’t.”
“I didn’t foresee you hitting people with sticks, but I should’ve guessed.” The costume looked professionally custom-made, but Crawford didn’t tell Schuldig what to do with all the money they’d made over the years. “Isn’t it too early in the month for me to get a vision of you doing that? Wait. Right, the Feast of St. Nikolaus is December 6, with Krampusnacht the night before it.”
“See? You’re so good that we barely need to have a conversation about this. But okay. You know that Bavarian restaurant/bar I’ve been hanging around sometimes the last few weeks? They’re going to have someone dressed up as St. Nikolaus swing by for the evening, but as a more Santa-looking version for the soft, decadent American children. I told them they couldn’t possibly do that without having Krampus show up, and things went on from there, as they tend to do. I’m perfect for it since, though they don’t know it, my telepathy makes me know for sure which of them are naughty or nice.”
“Do they realize that if they tap you as Krampus the evening is going to be R- or X-rated by the end?” He and Schuldig had an open relationship and varying sex drives, so Crawford didn’t mind as long as Schuldig used protection. Some of the stories afterward were interesting.
“I think that for some people that was an enticement.” Schuldig gave an “of course” shrug. “They just want their guest stars to show up on December 6, so they’re trying to decide whether I show up in a less scary costume for the kids to see along with the Santa-Nikolaus or if I go full-on Krampus and only appear for the adults at the bar starting at 11:30.”
Crawford would keep the date in mind while scheduling their jobs. “From the costume I saw, I think they decided on adults only.”
“Ooooh, lemme see.”
Crawford appreciated him asking. “Sure. Though you seeing it may change how things work out.”
“Please, I know. I’m a professional.” Once Schuldig got a look, his grin widened. “Nice. Unless they’re ready to show their child customers a dark, kinky, sexy Krampus, which I think not, they’ll have me appear at 11:30. I was hoping to scare some naughty children, but it’s probably for the best I don’t.”
“Thank you for seeing it that way,” Crawford replied dryly. “Though our lawyer might have been happier to get the additional income if the restaurant let you go for it and traumatize some children.”
“Eh. Soft, wimpy Americans. You would think New York City kids might be more used to the avant-garde, but maybe not. Getting sued is annoying, although I can change people’s minds....”
“Please don’t. Too much trouble over nothing.”
“So polite. I like it. Adults only it shall be. There are some things on the ensemble I want to improve though. Thanks for the sneak peek. Hey, do you want to be ‘punished’ and ravished by Krampus when I get home from my scheduled appearance?”
Hmm. “It depends on what condition your naughty fans leave you in.”
“No sloppy seconds, thirds, or whatever? Understandable. I’ll try to leave something nice for you.”
***********************THE END**********************