No, you don't understand. I mean, it is about that, but not like you think! I mean.... I just.
[...Gave up. At the end there, even if it was only in his own mind, he still considered buying into the town's lies. Just because they were happier. Because it was easier. Even if it was only for a second, he still gave in. Stopped fighting. And that's.... unforgivable. And how can he admit that to Ken? And he should have just kept his mouth shut. Idiot. He shakes his head.]
Omi...[Ken wants to tell Omi to just spill it, to talk to him. But that's not how they do it in Weiss, and he knows this might even just make it worse.
[He wants to, actually. He really wants to talk to someone, but is too worried that Ken will be disappointed in him. And he also knows that in Weiss we don't bother our teammates with our angst until it builds up enough that our lives are in danger on a mission. Healthiest way to deal with problems ever.]
Right.... I just need some time to think. I'll be okay.
[He tries to muster up a smile, but it's pretty transparent. At least he tried.]
If you want to...I mean...ah...fuck. Look, Miakis is a lot better listener, and I'm sure she'd have better shit to say and ah...IF you don't want to just think or have questions or...yeah.
[Crap, he's only good at forcing Aya to talk about things, and even there he fails. Omi is a friend and he wants to help but he doesn't know how or how to even broach the subject.]
[Wow, he must be a lot easier to read than he thought. He sighs. Maybe he should just be direct. Get it over with. If Ken was going to be upset with him or disappointed, then it would probably just be worse if he waited.]
Ken, I-
................. [He hesitates again. It's hard discussing your feelings when you're used to bottling them up. He's suddenly finding the carpet to be completely fascinating.]
I'm just really mad at myself, I guess. And ashamed.
[It's not that your usually easy, it's just that Ken knew that you were upset, and you're kinda easy to read when you're upset. He knows no details and can't even fathom then.
He figures it's because you had your memories fucked with, after being an amnesiac for so long. Memories are a touchy subject.]
Omi...[Ken's face softens and he leans over a bit to look at Omi in the face.]
To be honest I don't blame you. What the town wants us to think is a hell of a lot better then what happened to you. Here you had a family...you never killed and you could just be a normal kid.
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Omi? Are you hungry?
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No, thanks, I'm alright. I think I'll skip breakfast today.
[Good move, considering it's past lunchtime.... He hasn't really been paying attention to the clock today.]
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Omi it's almost dinner.
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No, it's not. It's only....
[Looks at clock. Hmm.... The clock seems to agree with Ken.]
Oh.... I guess I lost track of the time...
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[Ken may not be your father, but he is more then willing to big brother you.]
You need to eat.
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[He sighs and shakes his head. He's about to say the next line in this script, which is 'I'm not hungry.' Instead, to his surprise, what comes out is]
I'm sorry....
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[...Gave up. At the end there, even if it was only in his own mind, he still considered buying into the town's lies. Just because they were happier. Because it was easier. Even if it was only for a second, he still gave in. Stopped fighting. And that's.... unforgivable. And how can he admit that to Ken? And he should have just kept his mouth shut. Idiot. He shakes his head.]
No, never mind.
......
I'll..... I'll be down for dinner, okay?
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He's caught between a rock and a hard place]
Alright. Just tell me if you need anything, ok?
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Right.... I just need some time to think. I'll be okay.
[He tries to muster up a smile, but it's pretty transparent. At least he tried.]
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[Crap, he's only good at forcing Aya to talk about things, and even there he fails. Omi is a friend and he wants to help but he doesn't know how or how to even broach the subject.]
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Ken, I-
................. [He hesitates again. It's hard discussing your feelings when you're used to bottling them up. He's suddenly finding the carpet to be completely fascinating.]
I'm just really mad at myself, I guess. And ashamed.
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He figures it's because you had your memories fucked with, after being an amnesiac for so long. Memories are a touchy subject.]
Ashamed? About what?
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I'm ashamed because.... because I.....
Because when my memories were all mixed up, and I didn't know which was real I- I started to think......
....................................
I started to think that the fake ones were better.
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To be honest I don't blame you. What the town wants us to think is a hell of a lot better then what happened to you. Here you had a family...you never killed and you could just be a normal kid.
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