[IC Journal - Ezidran] Ravenous -Curbed-
((Author's Note: For warnings and author's notes, please click here. Warning: Strong language, horrid. I would like to thank Salarous and Marius for the awesome RP and saved Ezidran! And a special thanks to Dynast for developing and changing Ezi and putting up with me on all the terribad plots I have schemed for her. And also much love to Valaeli who has been so nice to Ezidran and a fine traveling partner.))
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[IC Journal - Ezidran] Semi Written Journal Entry/Mental State - "Ravenous -Curbed-"
The day started out fine. I woke up, Dynast not by my side. Started packing to continue my travels and errands with Valaeli and Churchil. The headless guy had to return back to Undercity, however. I don't understand why he keeps referring Valaeli as a queen and why single thing he does requires Valaeli's approval and permission. It's intriguing, at least.
Why is he not home by your side?
We talked about Pan, Valaeli's supposedly dead brother. But there was no body found, only equipment returned. I suggest Valaeli to show me the items so I can sniff out something or pick some unique scent, could be good clues to where her brother is.
As usual, I am eating too much. Must admit Vrykul flesh tastes good. It's strong and tender.
I can smell his blood. Eat. Eat.
We spoke about Aearyon's research, which I am quite excited (and skeptical) to attend. Seems like he's trying to study reactions and what maps out in the brain that causes people do certain things, feel specific emotions. I wonder what would he find out from the dead.
The war drums pace his steps.
Her serenade guides his sights.
She shows him how to handle the blade.
To beats of the thundering drums.
We came around this area in Grizzly Hills, occupied by deranged dwarves who are on the brink of their sanity. They went batshit nuts and assaulted us, we had to slaughter them anyway and hack their brains out for the apothecaries' research.
We heard whispers, creepy voices while lingering in that area.
Show no mercy, Death Knight.
It was driving me crazy, we had to leave the area immediately. I believe it's the Old God's doing. It makes me sick.
All that I am: anger, cruelty, vengeance - I bestow upon you, my chosen knight. I have granted you immortality so that you may herald in a new, dark age for the Scourge.
We chatted about her family, how she seems to question about her mother's disappearance and the reason for her brother's departure. I told her a little about my own family too. Such fond memories. Otherwise, her family's pretty happy and blissful. I admire that.
EAT. Eat. EAT. EAT. Eat.
Late in the evening, we departed ways to retire for the night. Which is good, my head was starting to hurt badly. Until some stranger's voice who refered himself as G.C. gave us some really brow-raising information.
Something about Miklav, selling himself and everyone else to the Twilight cultists, and how they needed help to get out of it. He asked for Avali but I heard that she and her husband took a trip for much needed relaxation.
Marius, Salarous, Tweke and I rushed to the Court of Sun to meet this man. He appeared to be a harmless, hooded rogue but still, we remained cautious about. I didn't feel or sense the need to attack until Marius told me the man was the one who threatened to kill Alrune.
That fucking does it. No one hurts or kills children when I hear of it.
He looks delicious. Eat him. Eat him, maybe?
That damn bastard was fast though, sprinted away before I could seize him.
And then Dynast was there... After the letter, I got from him. A part of me wants to hide away from him.
No, not ready. I need more time to find the song! Please!
A part of me, truly, wants to submit to him. I will never run away from him if he asks.
Devour him. Be one with him.
After patrolling the Row with Tweke, I went straight to Dynast. He didn't force me down, he didn't lock me up. He wanted me to stay near him, I wanted to hold him. We both needed it; Our presence, melding together in our longing for each other.
Delicious... Eat. Eat. EAT. Eat. EAT.
He brought me to see Marius about treating the 'Otherside' and Salarous, as well. Must say, Salarous is a brilliant man (though his scent is funny), he could scry out the condition of my body and mind. He explained that my liberation from the Scourge mind is not fully complete, how my lack of heart may be one of the factors of my weakened state and how this would affect my will and mind. It makes sense - I don't remember how I was like when I was a Scourge death knight, at all.
This all comes together, the hunger, the melding of my repressed memories as Scourge and my current self, my withering, gutless body struggling to stay in one piece. The burden, the weight of it skewered my methods of energy intake, forcing me to constantly eat flesh and blood to fuel my energy and channel my form, both physical and mental.
Eat. Eat. EAT. CONSUME EVERYTHING.
Do you still remember her song?
After Salarous looked into my mind, he mentioned there were chaotic, deafening waves in my mind. Marius was assisting in the mind-healing too stablizing... something and backing up Salarous while he searched for the root of my problem.
That's where my head, no, my entire body started to hurt. Sear, like being set ablaze. I couldn't hold back in my urges. I felt like I had been barraged with torrents of thunder and lightning, like something was haywire going on in my head, screaming for me to kill and eat.
I never felt so hungry like that before.
My whole body felt like it was on fire. Then emptiness.
PAIN. PAIN. EAT. MUST EAT TO CONTAIN PAIN. EAT. EAT. EAT. Eat. EAT. EAatt. EAT.
I got desperate. I did the horrible.
I wanted to hear your song again...
I hurt Dynast, I hurt Marius. Thank Light they were able to defend themselves and knocked me out.
My head was buzzing, my body was tired yet it wants to fight, move, butcher.
No, I don't want to hurt them. But yes, I wanted to.
Why did you stop singing...? I needed you to show me the way.
I craved for something there, I craved for something to sing, I longed for Dynast. I needed him.
Lull me to sleep. Lull me to fight.
Then, Salarous' succubus had to charm me and pacify me. By the time I snapped out of the trance, I found myself lying on the ground. My head stopped hurting, I felt... quite light, not so burdened anymore. Bless Marius. Bless Salarous. I couldn't thank them enough.
I don't feel so... violent? Angry? Anymore?
Your song is dying... Your song is dying...
HUNGER IS DYING... PAIN IS GOING AWAY... EAT. Eat. No. Don't devour anymore.
But I was so hungry still... But I don't feel the need to kill to eat. I just wanted to have my fill, chew and taste.
My body was still, weak. I could barely move. Dynast had to carry me back to the room.
I smile as I watched him unclothe me, tucked me to rest and we spent rest of the night in each other's arms.
Even if I couldn't move. I held him close, tightly.
His marred neck, his scarred skin as I brush my fingers along his skin. I ached. Because I hurt someone I loved.
Yet he still stayed with me.
He will hear the song with me too some day... If she comes back.
What will I ever do without him? I need him so, I love him dearly.
I love you. Let me have a taste of you, please. I just... wanted... you to be with me. Forever.
I can be at ease now. He's with me, we'll never part.