Complexity~
Serious Tárd, be serious.
I am a weak person. But with saying this, I am also a strong person.
I refuse to accept my feelings about my own personal matters most of the times.
That's why I am weak, It's a weakness I have to live with until I shake it off/die/don't want it any more.
But with admitting that I actually have a problem with it, leads to progress of solving it more than just leaving it behind.
That's why people who say they're weak, are mostly, stronger than the ones admitting they're strong.
They who are strong, often don't find the issues and problems with themselves. And everyone has something. So this is a valid reason why the weak ones are strong and why the strong ones are weak.
They say that when you're depressed and having a hard time, “Be strong”. I'm going to do otherwise, “Be weak”. Because only by being weak you can get over it, accept the humble truth and be yourself once again.
A fight against something you can't win, ain't worth fighting.
It's like being smashed by two rocks, you don't want to be smashed, so you fight and push to get loose. By only lying there accepting that you're stuck, you enter a new zone of your life, where you are stuck, and you know of it. Which easier leads to getting loose. Think of it like this.
You've just been dumped by a friend(of any kind), by accepting that this person no longer wants to see you and spend time with you, it's easier to get over it. If you go on and fight for this, try to catch the persons attention and care, you'll hurt the situation more than what was needed.
Feelings are complex, and by admiring your own feelings, you can improve on levels you would never dream of. Feelings can also easily be manipulated, but to the the point of what the brain are capable of remembering, storing and refresh.
I don't like to admit it, but it's not right if I don't. We humans are pathetic, and the only thing we can do about is admit it. Nothing we could ever do, to change it.
Well of course, you can change yourself and start being a level over the average. But getting everyone who are human to change themselves and make human kind less pathetic is impossible. Besides, if that happened, wouldn't that just be more pathetic?
Raising yourself over everyone and anyone, just to prove you're better, that would be fight you never would win. There's always someone better than you, you can fight it, yes, but change it is harder than anything you would imagine. And the higher you rank yourself, the harder the fall will be.
It's easy to write about feelings, and how to do this and that, but is it really that easy to handle all of your feelings? Just smile at them and accept?
For my case it's not, I wouldn't accept my feelings at times even if I got paid for it, because I am afraid. Afraid of opening myself to people I don't trust. To trust isn't easy either. I've never been capable of trusting people, some I do trust, but few they are.
With me it's like singing, If I can sing in front of you, without problems, I trust you. If I get unsure and mumble a lot, well then I don't trust you, I'm as easy to understand as that.
But I'm starting a new thing, this will hurt me a lot more, I know, but for the moment I don't care. I'm not taking the sorrow on advance, I will take it when it comes, and accept it, I might be broken for days before I can go on, but it's better being broken for 3 days than 50. Better to get over with it, than keep it inside.
I'm going to trust people, which will be hard, since I don't even trust myself.
Help people when they're in trouble, which will be hard, since I can't even help myself.
Convince people, which will be hard, since I can't even convince myself.
But I will try, and no more, or less, can you expect from me.
Take me as I am, or leave me the hell alone.
Sincerely Tári and Phil~