(no subject)
I'm going to loose my job.
It's not something I've done, or something my coworkers have done, but the plain "We don't have enough seats here in Leeuwarden, but we do have them in Breda. So the whole project is going to be transferred to there."
May the first will be the end-date. It's kinda ironic that it's the International Day of the Workers. 1st of May.
They will try to get some of us transferred to other projects in Leeuwarden, but the people who are directly on contract with the company have priority. I'm on payroll. Would have gotten a contract at the end of May. That's Irony too, i guess.
Today was the first day after my one week holiday back on the job. At 09:20 they called us in with the company's highest manager, who told us the news. Everybody was just dumbstruck. One of the older ladies started to cry. Her husband lost his job half a year ago, can't find a job. Now she lost hers. They have to sell their house now.
But our board of directors looks at the numbers, the finances, the good of the company. I do understand their view. It just sucks. Major Balls.
Have been cheering people up all over the day. My supervisor even complimented me on how i was not getting pulled down and still giving it 100% for the project. Did not tell him, but it is all protection. If i just focus on other people, or act like nothing has happened at all, I can fool myself in staying sane a tad longer.
The reason why, mentally, i was doing rather ok, is this job. I've started as an agent, became a project-trainer. Started without knowing anybody, now i know everyone. More so, people like me. If they like me, there's still this one sparkle of positivity in me when i think about myself. I even acquired a few friends. Friends! That's just, so new to me.
My therapy doesn't mean shit compared to what this job has done for me. And now, 80 percent sure, i'll be unemployed again in May.
My safety-net will disappear. I can't handle that.
The past week i've started to make amends again with God. But that's all been undone now.
He is giving me too much to handle and I can't understand it. If He loved me, why would he give me a stone when i ask for a fish? Because He does not love me. And I'm alone again.
It's not something I've done, or something my coworkers have done, but the plain "We don't have enough seats here in Leeuwarden, but we do have them in Breda. So the whole project is going to be transferred to there."
May the first will be the end-date. It's kinda ironic that it's the International Day of the Workers. 1st of May.
They will try to get some of us transferred to other projects in Leeuwarden, but the people who are directly on contract with the company have priority. I'm on payroll. Would have gotten a contract at the end of May. That's Irony too, i guess.
Today was the first day after my one week holiday back on the job. At 09:20 they called us in with the company's highest manager, who told us the news. Everybody was just dumbstruck. One of the older ladies started to cry. Her husband lost his job half a year ago, can't find a job. Now she lost hers. They have to sell their house now.
But our board of directors looks at the numbers, the finances, the good of the company. I do understand their view. It just sucks. Major Balls.
Have been cheering people up all over the day. My supervisor even complimented me on how i was not getting pulled down and still giving it 100% for the project. Did not tell him, but it is all protection. If i just focus on other people, or act like nothing has happened at all, I can fool myself in staying sane a tad longer.
The reason why, mentally, i was doing rather ok, is this job. I've started as an agent, became a project-trainer. Started without knowing anybody, now i know everyone. More so, people like me. If they like me, there's still this one sparkle of positivity in me when i think about myself. I even acquired a few friends. Friends! That's just, so new to me.
My therapy doesn't mean shit compared to what this job has done for me. And now, 80 percent sure, i'll be unemployed again in May.
My safety-net will disappear. I can't handle that.
The past week i've started to make amends again with God. But that's all been undone now.
He is giving me too much to handle and I can't understand it. If He loved me, why would he give me a stone when i ask for a fish? Because He does not love me. And I'm alone again.