...I've always been fond of the american tradition of bringing food to a grieving family.
Now, I can hardly fly across with the Atlantic to bring over a casserole.....but...if you'd trust me with your address, I could have amazon mail something to you, and you could pass it on to the family?
I was thinking maybe chocolate and sweets?
Or is there anything else material that they might need at the moment?
As for people realizing only now what it was.....hindsight is twenty-twenty and yeah, "can't get warm" is a sign of sepsis and he was definitely in a high-risk group....
.....but maybe part of it might have also been due to the fact that it's also smack in the middle of winter, there are lots of people complaining about being cold....and in all the hubub of christmas and new years and everything else, sometimes people just won't notice how this is NOT one of the usual "geez, it's cold" complaints, how this is different....and your brain just doesn't make the damn connection until later.
The thing about minimizing is....the PROBLEM about minimizing is....that so very, very often it will work. Because more often than not, it IS something your body can overcome on it's own, something you can pull through, if you just grit your teeth hard enough.....until it isn't anymore.
And if you're a guy, it can be pretty much expected of you, not to complain, not to be a whiner or a wuss....and even if we're aware of just how societal pressure has shaped us.....letting go of that can be damn hard.
And, if you please, he worked in a basement office. Of course he was chilly. And when I say minimizing was a thing for this fellow, I mean his parents didn't connect emotionally with him at all and he was always very low-key and chill. It's so arrrgh because you can see exactly how it happened.
I think that would be wonderful, if you wanted to. Not a lot, because it is a diabetic household, but I would be happy to pass on anything you wished to give. Me, I've gotten a look at their 'needs' calender and am gonna be making my infamous tuna casserole for one of their meal dates, and as soon as we know when the memorial is, we'll make the trip out (semi-long-distance-friends, about an hour on the highway).
In other news- there is an animated short about a viking who is seeking his perfect afterlife, and unfortunately due to the heroism he displayed in front of a bunch of nuns, gets a christian burial, which completely upsets his after-death plans. And we all had our horrified laughter moment realizing that this is exactly how it's going to go for our friend, whose wife is fairly devout and whom himself would have been content with a colander and a burning ship out at sea. We will all show up appropriately turned out for the solemn ceremony of whatever denomination Amy feels is right- and then there's going to be a wake.
It's usually not just one big, single event that leads up to any given catastrophe.
It's usually a continuous accumulation of tiny little mishaps and miscommunications and unfavourable circumstances.....and each and every one of them, all by itself, wouldn't be that bad or that life-threatening....but they accumulate, and suddenly, you're at a tipping point you didn't see coming and it's too late.
That said....with a diabetic household, sweets might not be the way to go?
(In times of stress, staying compliant with your dietary / medical regimen could be taxing and the idea is to make things easier for them, not harder.)
Could you find out for me what they need / what they would like?
Maybe books for the kid (distraction can be helpful in such times) and some really nice soap and body cream for mom (because self-care also is important to do when you're grieving)?
As for the ceremony....well, outside of animated shorts (and I'd really like a link to that one, because it sounds like a LOT of fun), burials are mainly for the solace of those left behind, and if Amy finds it within the rituals of her faith, then good for her, I'd say.
Amy does fancy beadwork, if you know of any fun or unusual beads she might like those. She's legally blind but mostly that means she can't drive, we're working on getting her in contact with some of the more helpful services (Ma works at the department of human services, she knows folks- more importantly, she knows paperwork). Katie likes swords, cats and Disney Infinity- she's just now eleven or twelve, I think. Jeeze, she was five when I first met her, she's grown.
I don't have a first clue about beading...but if you can tip me off about what size of beads she usually works with, I think maybe she'd like some Svarowski beads?
As for her daughter....hm....any idea if she's read Tamora Pierce's "Lioness" books yet? Because those come with a cat AND swords. ^_^
Okay- Amy says that she doesn't think Katie's read any Tamora Pierce, and she will take any craft stuff folks care to give her, so I would say- medium size and use your best judgement? I've seen her do things from the size of a peppercorn to she says her largest bead is an inch and a half.
Now, I can hardly fly across with the Atlantic to bring over a casserole.....but...if you'd trust me with your address, I could have amazon mail something to you, and you could pass it on to the family?
I was thinking maybe chocolate and sweets?
Or is there anything else material that they might need at the moment?
As for people realizing only now what it was.....hindsight is twenty-twenty and yeah, "can't get warm" is a sign of sepsis and he was definitely in a high-risk group....
.....but maybe part of it might have also been due to the fact that it's also smack in the middle of winter, there are lots of people complaining about being cold....and in all the hubub of christmas and new years and everything else, sometimes people just won't notice how this is NOT one of the usual "geez, it's cold" complaints, how this is different....and your brain just doesn't make the damn connection until later.
The thing about minimizing is....the PROBLEM about minimizing is....that so very, very often it will work. Because more often than not, it IS something your body can overcome on it's own, something you can pull through, if you just grit your teeth hard enough.....until it isn't anymore.
And if you're a guy, it can be pretty much expected of you, not to complain, not to be a whiner or a wuss....and even if we're aware of just how societal pressure has shaped us.....letting go of that can be damn hard.
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I think that would be wonderful, if you wanted to. Not a lot, because it is a diabetic household, but I would be happy to pass on anything you wished to give. Me, I've gotten a look at their 'needs' calender and am gonna be making my infamous tuna casserole for one of their meal dates, and as soon as we know when the memorial is, we'll make the trip out (semi-long-distance-friends, about an hour on the highway).
In other news- there is an animated short about a viking who is seeking his perfect afterlife, and unfortunately due to the heroism he displayed in front of a bunch of nuns, gets a christian burial, which completely upsets his after-death plans. And we all had our horrified laughter moment realizing that this is exactly how it's going to go for our friend, whose wife is fairly devout and whom himself would have been content with a colander and a burning ship out at sea. We will all show up appropriately turned out for the solemn ceremony of whatever denomination Amy feels is right- and then there's going to be a wake.
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It's usually a continuous accumulation of tiny little mishaps and miscommunications and unfavourable circumstances.....and each and every one of them, all by itself, wouldn't be that bad or that life-threatening....but they accumulate, and suddenly, you're at a tipping point you didn't see coming and it's too late.
That said....with a diabetic household, sweets might not be the way to go?
(In times of stress, staying compliant with your dietary / medical regimen could be taxing and the idea is to make things easier for them, not harder.)
Could you find out for me what they need / what they would like?
Maybe books for the kid (distraction can be helpful in such times) and some really nice soap and body cream for mom (because self-care also is important to do when you're grieving)?
As for the ceremony....well, outside of animated shorts (and I'd really like a link to that one, because it sounds like a LOT of fun), burials are mainly for the solace of those left behind, and if Amy finds it within the rituals of her faith, then good for her, I'd say.
And good for you to have that wake.
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As for the video- here is the youtube link to The Saga of Bjorn. If youtube doesn't work, Vimeo might. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MV5w262XvCU
http://vimeo.com/18011143
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As for her daughter....hm....any idea if she's read Tamora Pierce's "Lioness" books yet? Because those come with a cat AND swords. ^_^
(Also laughed myself silly at the video.) ^_^
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(And it is a darn good video^^)
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