Yet, Even More of My Insecurities Come Out
To all who still don't believe I'm a tad overweight, stop reading this now if you think you'll become upset...
Over the past few months, I've come to realize(with the help of that beautiful thing called the scale) that I'm getting increasingly...heavier. heavier than i've been for a long time. I won't give numbers here since that is pretty personal, and I'm pretty sure at least 3 people read this journal. Besides just weighing myself, I can tell that I've gained some weight by just looking at myself in the mirror. I look wider in certain areas...and some things have grown a lot larger than their usual size. And for some reason, I feel like less of a person because of it.
Doesn't that sound so intelligient.
Now don't get me wrong. I have no intention to transform myself into some skinny skinny little thing with no butt or hips...that is not me at all. But there's a certain point where my curves become more like chunks...yeah kinda gross but hey it's a personal thing we're dealing with here. There's just a certain weight where I feel most comfortable with myself, ya know? I'm sure you all can relate in some way.
So as I said before, the weight I'm at yet has become far from ideal for me, and I feel so frustrated with myself because as much as I want to lose the weight, lots of things are holding me back, like the fact that I feel so stupid for being insecure with myself...because of my appearance! It's so shallow and weak-minded. It's the biggest cliche: I'm a teenager who doesn't feel confident because of her weight. In fact, I feel better about myself when I'm at a certain weight...pretty sad, but true! I mean I try to see it as it being a way to stay as healthy as possible and that in the long run it will be better for me blah blah blah, but even if I do manage do shed the poundage I've gained, is there any guarantee that I'll keep the weight off? I can't say I have the most will power, and I rarely want what's good for me. I'm an impulsive freakazoid a lot of the time...
ugh. this is retarded.
If you've ever have to deal with this, then you know how I feel and I appreciate your support. If you don't know what the hell i'm talking about because you've always been skinny, sorry if this made you feel uncomfortable.
Anyway, I'm out for now. I don't expect to get many comments with this one, but whatever.
Over the past few months, I've come to realize(with the help of that beautiful thing called the scale) that I'm getting increasingly...heavier. heavier than i've been for a long time. I won't give numbers here since that is pretty personal, and I'm pretty sure at least 3 people read this journal. Besides just weighing myself, I can tell that I've gained some weight by just looking at myself in the mirror. I look wider in certain areas...and some things have grown a lot larger than their usual size. And for some reason, I feel like less of a person because of it.
Doesn't that sound so intelligient.
Now don't get me wrong. I have no intention to transform myself into some skinny skinny little thing with no butt or hips...that is not me at all. But there's a certain point where my curves become more like chunks...yeah kinda gross but hey it's a personal thing we're dealing with here. There's just a certain weight where I feel most comfortable with myself, ya know? I'm sure you all can relate in some way.
So as I said before, the weight I'm at yet has become far from ideal for me, and I feel so frustrated with myself because as much as I want to lose the weight, lots of things are holding me back, like the fact that I feel so stupid for being insecure with myself...because of my appearance! It's so shallow and weak-minded. It's the biggest cliche: I'm a teenager who doesn't feel confident because of her weight. In fact, I feel better about myself when I'm at a certain weight...pretty sad, but true! I mean I try to see it as it being a way to stay as healthy as possible and that in the long run it will be better for me blah blah blah, but even if I do manage do shed the poundage I've gained, is there any guarantee that I'll keep the weight off? I can't say I have the most will power, and I rarely want what's good for me. I'm an impulsive freakazoid a lot of the time...
ugh. this is retarded.
If you've ever have to deal with this, then you know how I feel and I appreciate your support. If you don't know what the hell i'm talking about because you've always been skinny, sorry if this made you feel uncomfortable.
Anyway, I'm out for now. I don't expect to get many comments with this one, but whatever.