(no subject)
so here we are..
everything is over..
school i mean..
yesterday night i threw an "open-farewell" party as some people called it at my place...
actually there were over 40 people invited but since there was the game of greece vs france yesterday there was this huge panic in the streets that only the 25 of them could make it
anyway..my friends and the people who i wanted to see came
and we had a hell of a great time
actually as far as i can remember there was even "beerskating" in this party
and everybody slipped fell down get up again and yelled "theres something sticking in my eye" as they jumped up and down to nofx..
i dont think anybody in the neighborhood had a goonight sleep last night..
and i dont wanna even think about my parents who where just one stair down..
it was a hell of a party...
anyway everybody left at about six in the morning and went home
and i had to clean up all this mess..
actually i didnt care much cause this hour was the sweetest one of all
no cars moovin no sun up yet
just the dusk of dawn
with this sweet light
i just sat down for a bit and i could only hear the birds sing
(sounds stupid but it was the only thing i could hear of..)
i felt a sweet gloom..
i remembered so many things of the past year that i could not get to live ever again..i actually felt like crying..
i remembered also so many other things that i souldnt bring up in my mind..
anyway i have promised to myself that i wont bring up in my mind..
and all this because of a guy in my party
that looked just like a guy i was in love with
and who i think about a lot some times even now.. after almost 3 years passed..
i wish i could just tap my fingers and make all this go away.
all these thoughts of him still haunting my mind my body and my heart..
but if i make them go away?
then what?
shit..
i shouldnt think about that again..
but this guy looked so much like him..
or maybe it was the beer and tequila and sagria mixed up all together in my stomach and my head that made him look like that..anyway the pics can confirm what my eyes saw..
suddently i felt so alone..
i felt that i was never gonna meet all these people who where there for me last night and we could never do all these crazy shit again..
dont know..
i felt kinda scared too..
i dont want this to end..
i mean all this time i said how much i wanted this to end and finally be free to enjoy summer and now i feel like theres nothing left..
no more vakalo..
hehhe
i hope great things come for all all us who have finished now..
i hope i can go to spain next year for a master
i hope everything goes well..
just that..
anyway..
the next thing coming up for me is my trip to the uk
in about..hm..5 days..
i havent felt so excited about it yet..
i guess its because i havent realised it yet..
hehhe
i guess ill realise it when i start packing
i have never been there and there are so many things and so many places i wanna go
im gonna stay there for 10 days and i hope i have a hell of a great time..
actually i m pretty sure that i will have a hell of a great time..
so im really looking forward to that...
anyway
i dont know why i prattle so much
but i guess its cause a guy told me that when i write lj i shouldnt think so much and that i should just write what is in my mind..and not read back what i have already written ..
thats what i ve done tonight..
so excuse any spelling grammar or other mistakes i have done
blame him
its his fault.
gnight
<3 u
everything is over..
school i mean..
yesterday night i threw an "open-farewell" party as some people called it at my place...
actually there were over 40 people invited but since there was the game of greece vs france yesterday there was this huge panic in the streets that only the 25 of them could make it
anyway..my friends and the people who i wanted to see came
and we had a hell of a great time
actually as far as i can remember there was even "beerskating" in this party
and everybody slipped fell down get up again and yelled "theres something sticking in my eye" as they jumped up and down to nofx..
i dont think anybody in the neighborhood had a goonight sleep last night..
and i dont wanna even think about my parents who where just one stair down..
it was a hell of a party...
anyway everybody left at about six in the morning and went home
and i had to clean up all this mess..
actually i didnt care much cause this hour was the sweetest one of all
no cars moovin no sun up yet
just the dusk of dawn
with this sweet light
i just sat down for a bit and i could only hear the birds sing
(sounds stupid but it was the only thing i could hear of..)
i felt a sweet gloom..
i remembered so many things of the past year that i could not get to live ever again..i actually felt like crying..
i remembered also so many other things that i souldnt bring up in my mind..
anyway i have promised to myself that i wont bring up in my mind..
and all this because of a guy in my party
that looked just like a guy i was in love with
and who i think about a lot some times even now.. after almost 3 years passed..
i wish i could just tap my fingers and make all this go away.
all these thoughts of him still haunting my mind my body and my heart..
but if i make them go away?
then what?
shit..
i shouldnt think about that again..
but this guy looked so much like him..
or maybe it was the beer and tequila and sagria mixed up all together in my stomach and my head that made him look like that..anyway the pics can confirm what my eyes saw..
suddently i felt so alone..
i felt that i was never gonna meet all these people who where there for me last night and we could never do all these crazy shit again..
dont know..
i felt kinda scared too..
i dont want this to end..
i mean all this time i said how much i wanted this to end and finally be free to enjoy summer and now i feel like theres nothing left..
no more vakalo..
hehhe
i hope great things come for all all us who have finished now..
i hope i can go to spain next year for a master
i hope everything goes well..
just that..
anyway..
the next thing coming up for me is my trip to the uk
in about..hm..5 days..
i havent felt so excited about it yet..
i guess its because i havent realised it yet..
hehhe
i guess ill realise it when i start packing
i have never been there and there are so many things and so many places i wanna go
im gonna stay there for 10 days and i hope i have a hell of a great time..
actually i m pretty sure that i will have a hell of a great time..
so im really looking forward to that...
anyway
i dont know why i prattle so much
but i guess its cause a guy told me that when i write lj i shouldnt think so much and that i should just write what is in my mind..and not read back what i have already written ..
thats what i ve done tonight..
so excuse any spelling grammar or other mistakes i have done
blame him
its his fault.
gnight
<3 u