Thoughts
My wife and I had a serious discussion about "US" today, a very good one, with a very good outcome, but it made me think about something. On occasion, I have been "tempted by the fruit of another" (thank you Squeeze), but I have never been interested in taking such temptations beyond the mild flirting stage. Thinking about it today, I realized that while flirting is fun, I have no interest in going beyond that, in fact I found it hard to even imagine acting on such flirts, and then I thought hard about THAT. I tried to imagine myself with another woman, I even tried to fantasize about having sex with someone other than my wife. No matter how attractive that thought might be in the abstract, no matter how I tried to capture the imaginary sex in my mind, however visceral and primal I tried to make it....I couldn't do it.
Why?
That bugged me, until finally I understood. The only way I can possibly conceive of sex with someone other than my wife is if she is no longer in my life, and the only way she could ever be not a part of my life is if she was dead. I may tease her about the all the movie stars that I would screw after she dies, but the stark reality of that is just simply impossible for me to even fantasize about. In the end, not having her in my life is a possibility so horrid that I can't even lightly fantasize about it for fun.
So, where does that leave me?
It leaves me as the luckiest man on earth. The only woman that I find myself able to fantasize about is the woman I have. How cool is that?
Lyrics for the song The Night by Morphine:
you're the night, Lilah
a little girl lost in the woods
you're a folktale
the unexplainable
you're a bedtime story
the one that keeps the curtains closed
I hope you're waiting for me
cause I can't make it on my own
I can't make it on my own
it's too dark to see the landmarks
and I don't want your good luck charms
I hope you're waiting for me
across your carpet of stars
you're the night, Lilah
you're everything that we can't see
Lilah
you're the possibility
you're the bedtime story
the one that keeps the curtains closed
and I hope you're waiting for me
cause I can't make it on my own
I can't make it on my own
unknown the unlit world of old
you're the sounds I've never heard before
off the map where the wild things grow
another world outside my door
here I stand I'm all alone
driving down the pitch black road
Lilah you're my only home
and I can't make it on my own
you're a bedtime story
the one that keeps the curtains closed
I hope you're waiting for me
cause I can't make it on my own
I can't make it on my own
Why?
That bugged me, until finally I understood. The only way I can possibly conceive of sex with someone other than my wife is if she is no longer in my life, and the only way she could ever be not a part of my life is if she was dead. I may tease her about the all the movie stars that I would screw after she dies, but the stark reality of that is just simply impossible for me to even fantasize about. In the end, not having her in my life is a possibility so horrid that I can't even lightly fantasize about it for fun.
So, where does that leave me?
It leaves me as the luckiest man on earth. The only woman that I find myself able to fantasize about is the woman I have. How cool is that?
Lyrics for the song The Night by Morphine:
you're the night, Lilah
a little girl lost in the woods
you're a folktale
the unexplainable
you're a bedtime story
the one that keeps the curtains closed
I hope you're waiting for me
cause I can't make it on my own
I can't make it on my own
it's too dark to see the landmarks
and I don't want your good luck charms
I hope you're waiting for me
across your carpet of stars
you're the night, Lilah
you're everything that we can't see
Lilah
you're the possibility
you're the bedtime story
the one that keeps the curtains closed
and I hope you're waiting for me
cause I can't make it on my own
I can't make it on my own
unknown the unlit world of old
you're the sounds I've never heard before
off the map where the wild things grow
another world outside my door
here I stand I'm all alone
driving down the pitch black road
Lilah you're my only home
and I can't make it on my own
you're a bedtime story
the one that keeps the curtains closed
I hope you're waiting for me
cause I can't make it on my own
I can't make it on my own