(no subject)
its official. my cameras gonna take photography before i get to. darn..... oh well. life goes on
i finished all my homework today. by 5 30. im proud of me. and i didnt kill the children and i was actually VERY patient today. they didnt scream "INTERMISSION" everytime they noticed i had followed them. gee. what a horrible babysitter. actually being around the kids? what have i been thinking.
i want a job. a REAL job. i think the whole reason i got into this babysitting deal was because they needed me, i was available, its money, and i feel guilty. now, i realize i could get a job and still be needed, do it and get money for it. but that wont fix my guilty feeling. i feel guilty because when i was younger, i was extremely involved in my church. no matter what, every sunday, we were up and out at about 9 30 for sunday school. yea i complained and everything. but i was a good kid. i prayed everynight and sometimes id even make my parents pray before dinner when we ate together. i was a church child. our family has stopped going to church so often, and im pretty much the only one involved in it anymore. its kind of frustrating because i have to catch a ride from someone and wait afterwards for them to pick me up. but i like going to church. just the feeling of being there. so i guess thats why i babysit. especially now because i guess im trying to get God to notice that im trying to get back to being a good kid. and that im depressed and maybe if i go to church more, he'll think i'm more worthy of helping. *shrug* just a random thought
but as for the rest of today, i played guitar and got candy and hair dye. yay! and mae mae and i are gonna go out for v-day if my parents allow me to. and if i can, i cant WAIT. maeghan and i are in pretty much the same boat. shes heartbroken about blake and we both kinda just need to chill because even tho we might not even talk about them, just knowing your with someone who has been thru the same EXACT thing kind of helps. just in case you DO need to talk. i dunno. 2 MORE DAYS TILL COLIE COMES HOME! woot. i cant wait. i love coco
i finished all my homework today. by 5 30. im proud of me. and i didnt kill the children and i was actually VERY patient today. they didnt scream "INTERMISSION" everytime they noticed i had followed them. gee. what a horrible babysitter. actually being around the kids? what have i been thinking.
i want a job. a REAL job. i think the whole reason i got into this babysitting deal was because they needed me, i was available, its money, and i feel guilty. now, i realize i could get a job and still be needed, do it and get money for it. but that wont fix my guilty feeling. i feel guilty because when i was younger, i was extremely involved in my church. no matter what, every sunday, we were up and out at about 9 30 for sunday school. yea i complained and everything. but i was a good kid. i prayed everynight and sometimes id even make my parents pray before dinner when we ate together. i was a church child. our family has stopped going to church so often, and im pretty much the only one involved in it anymore. its kind of frustrating because i have to catch a ride from someone and wait afterwards for them to pick me up. but i like going to church. just the feeling of being there. so i guess thats why i babysit. especially now because i guess im trying to get God to notice that im trying to get back to being a good kid. and that im depressed and maybe if i go to church more, he'll think i'm more worthy of helping. *shrug* just a random thought
but as for the rest of today, i played guitar and got candy and hair dye. yay! and mae mae and i are gonna go out for v-day if my parents allow me to. and if i can, i cant WAIT. maeghan and i are in pretty much the same boat. shes heartbroken about blake and we both kinda just need to chill because even tho we might not even talk about them, just knowing your with someone who has been thru the same EXACT thing kind of helps. just in case you DO need to talk. i dunno. 2 MORE DAYS TILL COLIE COMES HOME! woot. i cant wait. i love coco