(no subject)
Yesterday almost topped the Emily-gets-in-sad-situations-because-she-can't-say-no list, only surpassed by the time that Jesse Handler asked me out in the gym in 10th grade and I said yes and then had to tell him 4 days later that I really had meant no and he cried. So I am desperate for a job and am very frustrated by my inability to find one. There was an ad in the classifieds yesterday that said "SAVE THE ENVIRONMENT AND MAKE $300-500 A WEEK!"; and I thought, "That sounds great! I'll call." So I called and the lady said what the mission was, although she did not say what the position was, and I, in my stupid trusting ways, still thought it sounded great so when she asked me to come in at 4 I said sure. When I got there, there were about 6 other people waiting to be seen as well. She gave us this talk and explained that we would be canvassing from 2 p.m.-10 p.m. around the city to get people to protect Maryland Open Spaces, some fund that the governor has raided about a million times. We get paid according to the donations we bring in ($80 a day!!!!!!!!!!!!! was the minimum acceptable amount to gather). The whole time I was thinking, "This job sounds so shitty," but after my interview with a really nice woman, when she offered me the job I accepted. KNOWING THAT THIS WAS THE SHITTIEST JOB EVER. or at least fairly shitty. I just couldn't say no to this friendly woman who had just talked about how great social justice work is and how she could tell I was passionate about it and blah blah blah. I AM SUCH A SUCKER. So I drove home and cried a little and didn't know what to do and felt SO guilty and then the most hilarious thing happened. My parents told me I couldn't do it because canvassing that late is unsafe. HAHAHAHHAHA. I AM 20 YEARS OLD. I had to call this morning (because when I called last night they weren't there anymore) and tell them (luckily not the nice woman, I would have folded) that I couldn't do it.
The most pathetic part is that my guts are still wrenched in guilt over this. dear lord.
The most pathetic part is that my guts are still wrenched in guilt over this. dear lord.