(no subject)
I went to see the Sox game tonight. It was fun as shit. They won because of Carl Mothafuckin' Everett and his 2 home runs.
The most entertaining part was all of the drunk people around us. They were yelling at the left fielder for the Twins, Shannon Stewart.
I joined in with the classics... (explainations of my insults are included because I like to consider myself a "thinking mans' heckler")
"Stewart is a girls' name!!" (it's funny because his first name is shannon, in case you didn't catch that)
"Your mother works at Wal-Mart!" (because he doesn't support her with his huge paycheck)
"Your kids watch too much television!" (because their father is always out on the road)
"Your cousin watches figure skating!" (because figure skating is gay and who wants a gay cousin?)
"Hey Stewart, You WACK!!!" (because he is totally wack)
"Hey Stewahht, you weahh diapahhs!!!" (because heckling with a boston accent is a thousand times funniahh)
and my favorite "Stewart is a slave name given to you by your white master!!!" (because Malcolm X said so)
OK, I didn't actually yell the last one, but I really wanted to. If the game had gone to extra innings, I probably would have. I would have followed it up with "Your name is TOBAYY!!!!" followed by a whipcrack sound effect. If I had done this, I might have ended up getting my face bludgeoned by the left fielder's fist tonight on SportsCenter. That would have been sweet.
We got the young children behind us to start swearing at the guy, too. It was great. We taught the little guys how to say "Fuck the Twins!"
Then I felt bad, but their parents didn't seem to mind.
I love going to baseball games if for no other reason than the ability it gives you to call a complete stranger horrible things because of the shirt they are wearing. I took every chance I could to tell someone in a Twins shirt to go fuck themselves.
I don't know why I don't go to more baseball games.
The most entertaining part was all of the drunk people around us. They were yelling at the left fielder for the Twins, Shannon Stewart.
I joined in with the classics... (explainations of my insults are included because I like to consider myself a "thinking mans' heckler")
"Stewart is a girls' name!!" (it's funny because his first name is shannon, in case you didn't catch that)
"Your mother works at Wal-Mart!" (because he doesn't support her with his huge paycheck)
"Your kids watch too much television!" (because their father is always out on the road)
"Your cousin watches figure skating!" (because figure skating is gay and who wants a gay cousin?)
"Hey Stewart, You WACK!!!" (because he is totally wack)
"Hey Stewahht, you weahh diapahhs!!!" (because heckling with a boston accent is a thousand times funniahh)
and my favorite "Stewart is a slave name given to you by your white master!!!" (because Malcolm X said so)
OK, I didn't actually yell the last one, but I really wanted to. If the game had gone to extra innings, I probably would have. I would have followed it up with "Your name is TOBAYY!!!!" followed by a whipcrack sound effect. If I had done this, I might have ended up getting my face bludgeoned by the left fielder's fist tonight on SportsCenter. That would have been sweet.
We got the young children behind us to start swearing at the guy, too. It was great. We taught the little guys how to say "Fuck the Twins!"
Then I felt bad, but their parents didn't seem to mind.
I love going to baseball games if for no other reason than the ability it gives you to call a complete stranger horrible things because of the shirt they are wearing. I took every chance I could to tell someone in a Twins shirt to go fuck themselves.
I don't know why I don't go to more baseball games.