Regrets
When I was a boy, I love watching Ch 8 drama serials. Its common to see characters making wrong decisions in their life and still proudly proclaim," No regrets!"
When I was in Secondary School, adults around me will say,"Do things without regrets!"
When I hit 21 and my first serious relationship ended, friends around me advised,"Move on! Don't regret!" My 1st ex girlfriend told me,"I didn't regret, I had learned so much from this relationship."
When I left a potentially lucrative Navy career at 26 with zero corporate experience, my mum anxiously questioned,"Will you regret?" My answer was that I wanted to experience new things and "No regrets".
But at 27, on a cold, windy night at 2am alone at home, doubt started to creep in. I am now wondering to myself,"Am I regretting?"
Like when I was 13 and quited all my ECAs because I was playing basketball all day long.
Like when I was 17 and chose to study Electronics instead of Mass Comm because all my friends went to Ngee Ann for that course.
Like when I started my first relationship even though there were signs that we were not compatible and I was attracted to her best friend's personality.
Like when I let her go even after I've grown to love her after more than 4 years.
Like when I again let Lena go even though I've grown to love her even more.
What if, I had continued with the ECAs and been a tougher person?
What if, I had gotten married at 22? I would have been a father of 5 now!
What if, I had tried alot harder to make my latest relationship work?
Its ok to reflect and have a down period I guess, and at the present moment, I won't lie to myself that I had moved on.
But I will try my best to get out of this rut and regain the zest for life soon. After all, life itself is so much more than love. And I am tired of relationships.
To all the marvellous people out there (you all know who you are!) who had been totally superb to me during this tough time, I just want to say,"You guys really rock!"
And as for having regrets, whatever it is, its time to move on.
When I was in Secondary School, adults around me will say,"Do things without regrets!"
When I hit 21 and my first serious relationship ended, friends around me advised,"Move on! Don't regret!" My 1st ex girlfriend told me,"I didn't regret, I had learned so much from this relationship."
When I left a potentially lucrative Navy career at 26 with zero corporate experience, my mum anxiously questioned,"Will you regret?" My answer was that I wanted to experience new things and "No regrets".
But at 27, on a cold, windy night at 2am alone at home, doubt started to creep in. I am now wondering to myself,"Am I regretting?"
Like when I was 13 and quited all my ECAs because I was playing basketball all day long.
Like when I was 17 and chose to study Electronics instead of Mass Comm because all my friends went to Ngee Ann for that course.
Like when I started my first relationship even though there were signs that we were not compatible and I was attracted to her best friend's personality.
Like when I let her go even after I've grown to love her after more than 4 years.
Like when I again let Lena go even though I've grown to love her even more.
What if, I had continued with the ECAs and been a tougher person?
What if, I had gotten married at 22? I would have been a father of 5 now!
What if, I had tried alot harder to make my latest relationship work?
Its ok to reflect and have a down period I guess, and at the present moment, I won't lie to myself that I had moved on.
But I will try my best to get out of this rut and regain the zest for life soon. After all, life itself is so much more than love. And I am tired of relationships.
To all the marvellous people out there (you all know who you are!) who had been totally superb to me during this tough time, I just want to say,"You guys really rock!"
And as for having regrets, whatever it is, its time to move on.