long night... last call... bloodshot eyes, from some drinks - too tall....
i swear to god i'll die, if i go home alone tonight....
(title and first line contributed by Owen)
ya..... so, it's my last night here..... and i'm just sitting in my room by myself..... how bloody fuckin' eventful...... somebody must be telling me that there's a good reason i'm leaving...... it's alright, there's plenty of people i'd like to see, just dunno if it's reciprocal (if it was i'd be out still)....
so this entry is historically like any entry i've written before i've come here to depauw, in preparation for a new year...... maybe a little scared, anxious, confused...... and most of all....... alone. i know people love me...... and there's not much to do when i've said a lot of goodbyes... but just like my 21st bday.... where's my celebration, my sendoff party..... my connection and sense of hope?
goodbye depauw, maybe i'll return one day to finish what i started..... but maybe not. take care, god bless, and thrive in all that you do and are.
i'm going home now to be "welcomed" by people who see me as a disappointment....... yippee...
well, here's a toast to me getting a job, maybe wanting to get an apartment, writing prolificly - but not knowing how to tabulate any of what my brain and heart need to shit out........ going to europe, developing a drug habit, losing my passport, stowing away in a luggage apartment, working in a thai restaurant...... selling shoelaces for money to support my growing desire to throw chocolate cakes at old people...... and just learning how to breathe on my own....
(by the way... this entry is only semi-serious..... i love y'all and i'll see/talk to ya soon)
....... oh, yeah.... and this....
"It's better to own a gun and not need it
than to need a gun and not own it."
(- the creepiest guy ever....)
(title and first line contributed by Owen)
ya..... so, it's my last night here..... and i'm just sitting in my room by myself..... how bloody fuckin' eventful...... somebody must be telling me that there's a good reason i'm leaving...... it's alright, there's plenty of people i'd like to see, just dunno if it's reciprocal (if it was i'd be out still)....
so this entry is historically like any entry i've written before i've come here to depauw, in preparation for a new year...... maybe a little scared, anxious, confused...... and most of all....... alone. i know people love me...... and there's not much to do when i've said a lot of goodbyes... but just like my 21st bday.... where's my celebration, my sendoff party..... my connection and sense of hope?
goodbye depauw, maybe i'll return one day to finish what i started..... but maybe not. take care, god bless, and thrive in all that you do and are.
i'm going home now to be "welcomed" by people who see me as a disappointment....... yippee...
well, here's a toast to me getting a job, maybe wanting to get an apartment, writing prolificly - but not knowing how to tabulate any of what my brain and heart need to shit out........ going to europe, developing a drug habit, losing my passport, stowing away in a luggage apartment, working in a thai restaurant...... selling shoelaces for money to support my growing desire to throw chocolate cakes at old people...... and just learning how to breathe on my own....
(by the way... this entry is only semi-serious..... i love y'all and i'll see/talk to ya soon)
....... oh, yeah.... and this....
"It's better to own a gun and not need it
than to need a gun and not own it."
(- the creepiest guy ever....)