ou est l'amour?
I guess seeing people from NCDS made me realize how much I really do miss them, I mean I knew that I did, but it also makes me crave that kind of love and caring those people have. At BU, I really love my friends and I care a lot about them, but I can't help having the feeling that maybe I care about people too much for my own good?? I know they care, I can tell, but I guess I miss the signs of love that I'm used to that aren't around all the time here. I know it sounds lame and insecure, but I worry that I'm gonna suffocate them since we live in the same place, so it's so hard to not wanna be with these people all the time when they're right there. I think I also feel sorta out of the loop cuz I don't think I have anyone that would consider me a best friend...which makes me feel like a bad friend or just sorta lonely sometimes, even though there are i guess two people I would consider as best friends for me. I also have that need to be alone sometimes, but I never am when I want to, and always am when I don't want to be haha. brehhghh. i hope this is just like the lack of sunlight affecting me or something. i want it to snow. i alreay hate what I wrote cuz it sounds like i'm like OMG NO ONE CARES ABOUT ME MREEHH and I'm sure people will read it and say God this girl needs to get a grip and a lifek but I think maybe I'm just missing the rolling around on each other and poking fun but not getting offended candid relationships. and the infinite moments. i haven't felt infinite since the summer, right now i feel so useless and stupid cuz i keep screwing myself over with my classes and stuff.
ciao.
ciao.