meh...
lately ive been ignoring problems and also alot of friends...and i dont know if that is better than getting entangled in these drama messes again, being forced to choose sides...kinna feels like im being ripped in half (not pretty) So even though my weekend has been kinna lax i have this underlying feeling that im missing something or that there is something i should be tending to. I feel disconnected with my friends and i dont like not knowing who needs me and who doesnt. Im scared to make choices right now, i dont know what to say...i have dreams now about all of my friends, several a night and i dont know what to do about them...im afraid people are mad at me...i guess its a good thing im leaving the state...clear my headd maybe...but also where i am going is another problem stewing, waiting for me in california...i dont know what the fuck to do!!! so im engulfing myself in homework and tedious little tasks that occupy my thoughts (i dont know how many batches of cookies i have made!) i need to get some more books, ive been reading like crazy! it gives me a different world to escape to.