Do you ever have one of those days
That takes a screaming left into the Twilight Zone?
After an unremarkable day at work, on got on a 212 bus heading back across the lake. All the seats were taken, but it wasn't packed, so I stood near the front. I like to stand up front and watch the road through the big windshields when I get the chance. Because, you know, I'm easily amused.
We stopped at the Mercer Island freeway station, and the driver opened the door to let a guy off. At the same time, I heard a scuffling sound behind me, and a few gasps. I turned around just in time to see a small, slight woman about my age throw open the bus window, vault through it, and take off running. The window slammed shut behind her.
The folks who had seen this all looked at each other. Most of us started laughing. The bus driver came back and asked "Is everybody OK? What just happened?" We told him we were fine, but he had a, uh, fare jumper. "Hmm," he said. He opened the bus door and looked down the sidewalk at the fleeing woman. "Hmm," he said again. "She's running like she thinks I'm actually going to chase her." That made us laugh all over again.
Let me add that the fare at this point was a whopping $1.75. I had two bucks in my pocket. I would have paid her fare, fer Cthulhu's sake. On second thought, I'd have paid her two bucks to jump out the window again, cuz that was darn good entertainment.
So I finally got off the bus, and headed to Rite Aid to pick up some prescriptions. There were a ton of people in line ahead of me. Sigh. Finally it was down to just three--a sullen-looking woman holding a really cute Maltese dog, and an older woman and her 30-something son. The dog woman bellied up to the counter, and plunked her dog down on it. Where it promptly started licking its butt. Because it's, y'know, a dog.
The guy muttered something, and the dog woman whirled on him. "Did you say something about my dog?" she said, very loudly.
"Well, yes, I did," said the guy. "I said I don't think you should be putting a dog on that counter."
"Why not?" bellowed the dog woman, her wee little eyes bulging.
"Because dogs have germs," the mom piped up.
"Not THIS dog. THIS dog just had a bath. And THIS dog is hypo-allergenic."
"That may be," said the mom, "but dogs run around outside on their dirtly little paws."
Now dog woman was really pissed. "Her paws are not dirty! This is a service dog! I can take her into any restaurant in Issaquah!"
"Where's her vest?" asked the mom.
"She left it at home," said dog woman, cutting her increasingly nutty eyes right and left.
This went on for awhile. Dog woman just wouldn't shut up, and the mom and her son wouldn't let it go. Now, these weren't dog-haters or anything. They said they had two dogs at home. They just didn't think it was cool for a dog to lick its ass on a public surface, and hey, I had to agree wtih them.
The pharmacist finally brought out dog woman's prescription. She started to pay for it, then her beady little eyes crept to her shopping cart, which held about twelve items. "I want to pay for these here too," she said, shooting the mom and her son a triumphant smirk.
"Now, that's just spiteful," said the son. The pharmacists shot each other a look, and then they rang her up. When they were done, dog woman dragged her cart behind her, directly toward the (70-something) mom, who had to briskly step aside to avoid being clobbered.
"She's just nuts," said the son, watching the dog woman go.
"And this isn't the first time this has happened, either," said the pharmacist. "She does this all the time."
Lowell, one of the senior pharmacists (and a guy with a somewhat acerbic sense of humor) said "Oh, it's not a problem. It's our new policy. You can set any kind of animal on the counter you want to."
"Awesome!" I hollered. "I'm gonna bring my 75 pound pitbull in and plunk him down right there!" And there was much snickering.
A teenage girl behind me whispered "Did you see, when she was holding that dog like a baby, up against her neck? It was chewing on her!" (It had, in fact, been grooming her neck. Dog love is blind.)
"Oh, haven't you heard?" I said."That's a special kind of genetically engineered dog. It was gently injecting Prozac into her veins." The girl stared at me, and started laughing. "Evidently not enough Prozac," cracked her dad.
When I FINALLY got up to the counter, 25 minutes after I walked into the store, the pharmacist looked up my prescriptions--and told me they'd been sent to another Rite-Aid. In another town.
I went home.
I'll pick them up tomorrow. Hopefully Nutty Dog Woman won't be at the other Rite-Aid.
Crikey.
After an unremarkable day at work, on got on a 212 bus heading back across the lake. All the seats were taken, but it wasn't packed, so I stood near the front. I like to stand up front and watch the road through the big windshields when I get the chance. Because, you know, I'm easily amused.
We stopped at the Mercer Island freeway station, and the driver opened the door to let a guy off. At the same time, I heard a scuffling sound behind me, and a few gasps. I turned around just in time to see a small, slight woman about my age throw open the bus window, vault through it, and take off running. The window slammed shut behind her.
The folks who had seen this all looked at each other. Most of us started laughing. The bus driver came back and asked "Is everybody OK? What just happened?" We told him we were fine, but he had a, uh, fare jumper. "Hmm," he said. He opened the bus door and looked down the sidewalk at the fleeing woman. "Hmm," he said again. "She's running like she thinks I'm actually going to chase her." That made us laugh all over again.
Let me add that the fare at this point was a whopping $1.75. I had two bucks in my pocket. I would have paid her fare, fer Cthulhu's sake. On second thought, I'd have paid her two bucks to jump out the window again, cuz that was darn good entertainment.
So I finally got off the bus, and headed to Rite Aid to pick up some prescriptions. There were a ton of people in line ahead of me. Sigh. Finally it was down to just three--a sullen-looking woman holding a really cute Maltese dog, and an older woman and her 30-something son. The dog woman bellied up to the counter, and plunked her dog down on it. Where it promptly started licking its butt. Because it's, y'know, a dog.
The guy muttered something, and the dog woman whirled on him. "Did you say something about my dog?" she said, very loudly.
"Well, yes, I did," said the guy. "I said I don't think you should be putting a dog on that counter."
"Why not?" bellowed the dog woman, her wee little eyes bulging.
"Because dogs have germs," the mom piped up.
"Not THIS dog. THIS dog just had a bath. And THIS dog is hypo-allergenic."
"That may be," said the mom, "but dogs run around outside on their dirtly little paws."
Now dog woman was really pissed. "Her paws are not dirty! This is a service dog! I can take her into any restaurant in Issaquah!"
"Where's her vest?" asked the mom.
"She left it at home," said dog woman, cutting her increasingly nutty eyes right and left.
This went on for awhile. Dog woman just wouldn't shut up, and the mom and her son wouldn't let it go. Now, these weren't dog-haters or anything. They said they had two dogs at home. They just didn't think it was cool for a dog to lick its ass on a public surface, and hey, I had to agree wtih them.
The pharmacist finally brought out dog woman's prescription. She started to pay for it, then her beady little eyes crept to her shopping cart, which held about twelve items. "I want to pay for these here too," she said, shooting the mom and her son a triumphant smirk.
"Now, that's just spiteful," said the son. The pharmacists shot each other a look, and then they rang her up. When they were done, dog woman dragged her cart behind her, directly toward the (70-something) mom, who had to briskly step aside to avoid being clobbered.
"She's just nuts," said the son, watching the dog woman go.
"And this isn't the first time this has happened, either," said the pharmacist. "She does this all the time."
Lowell, one of the senior pharmacists (and a guy with a somewhat acerbic sense of humor) said "Oh, it's not a problem. It's our new policy. You can set any kind of animal on the counter you want to."
"Awesome!" I hollered. "I'm gonna bring my 75 pound pitbull in and plunk him down right there!" And there was much snickering.
A teenage girl behind me whispered "Did you see, when she was holding that dog like a baby, up against her neck? It was chewing on her!" (It had, in fact, been grooming her neck. Dog love is blind.)
"Oh, haven't you heard?" I said."That's a special kind of genetically engineered dog. It was gently injecting Prozac into her veins." The girl stared at me, and started laughing. "Evidently not enough Prozac," cracked her dad.
When I FINALLY got up to the counter, 25 minutes after I walked into the store, the pharmacist looked up my prescriptions--and told me they'd been sent to another Rite-Aid. In another town.
I went home.
I'll pick them up tomorrow. Hopefully Nutty Dog Woman won't be at the other Rite-Aid.
Crikey.