This could be one of the saddest days of my life
This is probably one of the most depressed times of my life. And it looks like it's only going to get worse in the next few days. Read this article: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6847012/?GT1=6065
I'm not even sure if I believe that article. And I didn't become depressed b/c I read the article. I'm just sad. Really sad. And lonely. And I've come to the conclusion I have no friends. What did I do on a Friday night? I called my brother up and went out to eat with him. Why? I have no one else to go out with. I depend on my brother in order to have a social life. I use my brother so I can feel better about myself. He's not only my brother; he's an adopted friend. It's quite sad when I think about it. And people always say that we're close. Well that's b/c it has to be that way. Molly can't handle being alone, and she depends on her brother to be her social network. Ugh.
Why has college been so tough on me emotionally? I wasn't like this in high school. Maybe I had more friends then. I did have a boyfriend for most of high school so I'm sure that helped. I can be happy without a boyfriend; I keep trying to tell myself that. And last semester I was happy without a boyfriend. I started feeling good about myself. I just have to get back to that. I really need to start caring about myself. I mean, really, is there anyone else to care about? NO! There isn't! All I need to do is care about ME, ME, and ME! Can I do that?
Josh says, "Well why don't you make friends?" Haha Josh! That's not as easy as you think. First of all, if I did make friends, they would already have friends. I would be on the bottom of their list. They would be hanging out with their other friends. I would be just as lonely as I am now. This already happens to me. Sure, I have friends, but do I have friends I hang out with? NO. That's b/c I'm on the bottom of everyone's list. Do I care? NO. I only care about myself now. So take that you so-called friends.
The world is a cruel, cruel place. One day I hope to wake up and find that's not true. Until then, I will keep my cynical attitude.
I'm not even sure if I believe that article. And I didn't become depressed b/c I read the article. I'm just sad. Really sad. And lonely. And I've come to the conclusion I have no friends. What did I do on a Friday night? I called my brother up and went out to eat with him. Why? I have no one else to go out with. I depend on my brother in order to have a social life. I use my brother so I can feel better about myself. He's not only my brother; he's an adopted friend. It's quite sad when I think about it. And people always say that we're close. Well that's b/c it has to be that way. Molly can't handle being alone, and she depends on her brother to be her social network. Ugh.
Why has college been so tough on me emotionally? I wasn't like this in high school. Maybe I had more friends then. I did have a boyfriend for most of high school so I'm sure that helped. I can be happy without a boyfriend; I keep trying to tell myself that. And last semester I was happy without a boyfriend. I started feeling good about myself. I just have to get back to that. I really need to start caring about myself. I mean, really, is there anyone else to care about? NO! There isn't! All I need to do is care about ME, ME, and ME! Can I do that?
Josh says, "Well why don't you make friends?" Haha Josh! That's not as easy as you think. First of all, if I did make friends, they would already have friends. I would be on the bottom of their list. They would be hanging out with their other friends. I would be just as lonely as I am now. This already happens to me. Sure, I have friends, but do I have friends I hang out with? NO. That's b/c I'm on the bottom of everyone's list. Do I care? NO. I only care about myself now. So take that you so-called friends.
The world is a cruel, cruel place. One day I hope to wake up and find that's not true. Until then, I will keep my cynical attitude.