(no subject)
I can't stop thinking, so I'm going to write it down.
You would think it would be easier after 4 months, but it seems like it gets harder everyday. I miss him so much. It hurts, more than I thought I could hurt about anything. I don't eat, I can't sleep, I cry all the time. I'm so lonely. I feel like I've lost the best thing that I ever had.
Sometimes I manage to not think about him for a few minutes, but it always comes back. I feel like I've been abandoned. I don't see how I could possibly love anyone as much as I love him. would it even be worth it if I could? Is all the heartbreak and sadness worth it? It doesn't seem like it.
When I'm with him, I fee so happy, but I'm always on edge, because I know eventually I'll have to go home and be alone again. Now he likes some new girl, which makes it even worse. I feel like i'm being replaced. I'm sure she is a perfectly decent person, but I hate her so much. I hate that she is going to take my place. I hate that he likes her more than he likes me.
I cringe everytime his phone rings, because it could be her, pulling him farther away. Why did I have to fall in love in the first place? I would have been better off just staying alone.
I want to call him every day, and hang out every day, like we used to, but I'm afraid that if I call too much he will get sick of me, and not want to be my friend anymore. But would it be easier to just not talk to him ever? I think I would probably die. I already feel like there is nothing left of me. I don't even know what I am doing anymore. I spend all my time trying to forget. All I want to do is smoke weed and drink and sleep.
I don't want to feel anymore.
You would think it would be easier after 4 months, but it seems like it gets harder everyday. I miss him so much. It hurts, more than I thought I could hurt about anything. I don't eat, I can't sleep, I cry all the time. I'm so lonely. I feel like I've lost the best thing that I ever had.
Sometimes I manage to not think about him for a few minutes, but it always comes back. I feel like I've been abandoned. I don't see how I could possibly love anyone as much as I love him. would it even be worth it if I could? Is all the heartbreak and sadness worth it? It doesn't seem like it.
When I'm with him, I fee so happy, but I'm always on edge, because I know eventually I'll have to go home and be alone again. Now he likes some new girl, which makes it even worse. I feel like i'm being replaced. I'm sure she is a perfectly decent person, but I hate her so much. I hate that she is going to take my place. I hate that he likes her more than he likes me.
I cringe everytime his phone rings, because it could be her, pulling him farther away. Why did I have to fall in love in the first place? I would have been better off just staying alone.
I want to call him every day, and hang out every day, like we used to, but I'm afraid that if I call too much he will get sick of me, and not want to be my friend anymore. But would it be easier to just not talk to him ever? I think I would probably die. I already feel like there is nothing left of me. I don't even know what I am doing anymore. I spend all my time trying to forget. All I want to do is smoke weed and drink and sleep.
I don't want to feel anymore.