thunder bolts and lightining very very frightening!!!
its always when the sky is opening up with such a fury, raining down, draining the darkness, flashing violently and ripping with such an angry pounding that i feel the most at peace...
and its funny that i need to feel this peace now... you would think that with this life that im building, as the foundation is being laid and as the child inside grows bigger, that would provide peace enough... but i can't stand sometimes the way i feel about life... its all the what if's that i cant get passed... what if i cant finish school, what if i cant help with bills... what if im not a good mother... what if something goes wrong... ugh... i cant get them outta my head... but i know dwelling on things wont get anything accomplished... i just have to push ahead and trust in my husband and trust in myself...
man i never post anything that positive do i??? i guess i reserve all the insides for writing... its always been my way... im a happy jolly person usually in person... just like to express in words why im miserable :)
but dont get me wrong... life is certainly shaping up to be amazing... knowing that in a few short months, if everything goes to plan, ill be a college grad and a mommy... and the mommy thing means more to me than anyone will ever know... im so excited!
and its funny that i need to feel this peace now... you would think that with this life that im building, as the foundation is being laid and as the child inside grows bigger, that would provide peace enough... but i can't stand sometimes the way i feel about life... its all the what if's that i cant get passed... what if i cant finish school, what if i cant help with bills... what if im not a good mother... what if something goes wrong... ugh... i cant get them outta my head... but i know dwelling on things wont get anything accomplished... i just have to push ahead and trust in my husband and trust in myself...
man i never post anything that positive do i??? i guess i reserve all the insides for writing... its always been my way... im a happy jolly person usually in person... just like to express in words why im miserable :)
but dont get me wrong... life is certainly shaping up to be amazing... knowing that in a few short months, if everything goes to plan, ill be a college grad and a mommy... and the mommy thing means more to me than anyone will ever know... im so excited!